Hello, could you please review my motivation letter? I would very much appreciate someone's opinion on it before I send it to the application. Thank you!
MOTIVATION LETTER - STIPENDIUM HUNGARICUM
Dear Sir or Madam,
It is my ambition to study Communication and Media Science in Hungary. Therefore, I am applying for a Bachelor's programme at [University names].
While I was still in elementary school, I often wrote short stories and essays. Although the professors who had the opportunity to work with me said I had a sharp mind and an even brisker pen, there was one particular professor. He told me all my talent would fall into the water if I didn't start working harder. His criticism has remained with me to this day, and I, carried away by his words, began to write more and more often. That was the moment I realized how much influence words have on a person.
The media started to interest me in high school when I became a member of the journalism section within the school while in my spare time, I was writing articles online as a freelancer to gain more experience. One of the main reasons these universities are my choice is their way of working and approaching this science. Practical learning is of great importance to me, and through research on these universities, I have realized that we are moving towards similar goals.
My academic background makes me one of the candidates who bring local and regional awards and recognitions to the table, and I do not doubt there will be even more of them in the future. I expect to gain adequate knowledge from my studies, sharpen my critical thinking and independence, and cooperate with people from this field who will teach me new and quality skills. Once I return home, in addition to my master's studies, I will work on improving media freedom in [my country name], researching how the media affect young people, as well as building international relations with other countries.
I chose Hungary to be the country of my Becherol study for a couple of reasons. I am a European kid, and if I want to go out into the world after my graduation and learn about other histories and cultures, I must learn about my own first. I think that the Hungarian community will easily accept me and that it is the right starting point for getting to know Europe. I am delighted with the Hungarian connection between history and the modern world, because I find myself pretty much in both.
I expect to encounter many challenges in the new country with the new language, but luckily I adapt quickly and have an outgoing personality type. What makes me happy but also scares me is the complete independence I will have, but no man has grown until he has stepped out of his comfort zone.
Considering my study results so far and my desire to enrich my own and others knowledge in Communication and Media science, I believe my work will be a valuable addition to your programme. I am confident that I am capable of meeting and even exceeding your expectations!
Thank you for considering my application.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,905 3559
In the second paragraph, change the reference from elementary school to high school. That time frame will be more applicable to your narrative. Then change the professor to some sort of writing adviser to give his opinion more impact. Maybe you were part of the school journal or perhaps a member of a literary club, or any other activity that relates to journalism or writing that would have called the attention of the "professor" to your writing skills. It would be a better motivation if you can explain why his words stuck with you all this time and how you moved to prove to him that you were not going to fall into the water. That will help create a stronger motivating factor for you, the fear or proving this professor right or, the motivation to prove him wrong. I think you should focus on the latter.
Language is always the reason used as a barrier in these applications. Can you think of some other obstacle you have to overcome that is not related to a commonly used reference point? The reviewer may not find that interesting, impressive, or an important obstacle to overcome at this point. Maybe refer to how you are European and yet, different from the Hungarians? A glaring cultural difference perhaps?
Hello, i found some grammatical mistakes in your essay, spelling of bachelor etc. I think it would be great if you make it more interesting and make it more lucid and compact. It should be somewhere around 500 words. The reason why you loved media studies and why should they consider your application needs to be more tempting