Hello, I am applying to Stipendium Hungaricum Scolarship. Here is my motivaton letter. Could you please criticize it? Thank you...
letter of motivation
Dear Madam/Sir
As a student in school and as an engineer at work, one thing that was persistent in me was my enthusiasm and inquisitive nature. This characteristic in me caused me to be curious and analytical about every aspect of my professional as well as my personal life. I have always used logic when pursuing my deep intent to learn at every stage of my education and career. With this introduction, I take this opportunity to place forward my interest to pursue Master's Degree in YYYYY Engineering or ZZZZ Engineering.
Engineering studies further expanded my understanding and knowledge of machines. I observed myself inquisitive but matured enough to rely on scientific concepts and principles, something that is gained through academic education and practical application. Courses like Machine Elements, Technique of Mechanism, Heat Transfer, Manufacturing Techniques, Engine and Vehicle Systems, Computer Aided Design and Thermodynamics enlightened me on principles behind fundamental laws that are observed and machines that are engineered. In my final year of engineering studies, I consummated two academic projects as a thermal design project and a mechanic design project. Design of a Solar Panel Integrated Agricultural Dryer was my thermal project that corresponds to raise productivity tremendously. On the other hand, mechanic contrive was atypical experimentation of Ringless Two-Stage Planetary Reducerwhich contains performance calculations, design and prototyping.
On 2018/19 academic year I resided in Szeged, Hungary as Erasmus Student for 10 months. I had a rare old time. The cultivation and folk impressed me every time. There were some similarities between with the Hungarians' culture and my own culture. I love the way of life in Hungary and then I prolonged my education to the second semester although I would be there merely for the first semester. Besides, in case I achieve the Stipendium Hungaricum Grant, I will be out of my comfort zone as I did before. Leaving my comfort zone makes me look for new challenges and find accomplishment that I fulfill with the self-enhancement way.
Furthermore, I chose to apply for master's in engineering at your glorious and majestic "XXXXXXXXXXX" to obtain intense erudition supernate of engineering. It seemed to me the best selection for many reasons: firstly, because XXXXX is on the top spots university in the field of engineering science in the Europe as well as world. Secondly, the curriculum of YYYYYY and ZZZZZZZ's studying plans in this university are thrilling and offer an excellent cognition, which causes excellent engineers. Finally, I heard from many students that the interactive relation between the professors and the students in this university is very fruitful and important for the students; not to mention that, all of these conditions make studying is a pleasure by itself while sitting on a desk with stunning Danube River landscape.
Moreover, When I return to home, all the enlightenment that I take on master's degree, I am going to land a job which must be in the field of research & development to optimize my wisdom. It is because deficiency of R&D department is apparent in my country. In addition to this, R&D is such an industry that it will never end. I could work in design and solid mechanics which are my favorite major specializations through long ages if I find a decent manufacturing plant and teammate. Thusly, I would like to serve my country and world in this way.
In conclusion, I am sure that studying engineering science at xxxxxxxx will the right step on the road of my dream that is to get the master's degree.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The fact that you are a former EM scholar already puts you ahead of the other applicants. The information contained in this essay tells me that you are a pro at the motivation letter content. You have the ability to convince the reviewer to give you a second shot at the EM scholarship. However, you could still further strengthen this essay by explaining how the 10 months you spent in Hungary helped you advance as a student in your home country upon your return, making that stand out educational period the main motivation for your desire to return to Hungary for further academic training. The reasoning based on hearsay is not very effective though. Anytime a student says "I heard from other students...", it creates an unrealistic expectation in the eyes of the reviewer. What if you do not get the same experience? Does that mean the scholarship would have failed you in terms of personal and academic expectations? I would personally, leave that out of the letter instead. Do not be vague about the job you want to land. Tell the reviewer what the position is and why it important for someone of your newly advanced training work in that field. You have to justify a forward looking application of your studies via a job promotion or career change for a reason.
