I am writing a study plan for my Canadian study permit application, and I would love to have some feedback for my study plan. I appreciate all comments. Thanks so much.
Below is my study plan
Dear Visa Officer,
I am writing you this letter to explain why I want to study in Canada and how my proposed studies would fit with my goals and future career.
At the end of February of 2016, I came to America to study as an international student. I first started with an English institution to improve my English skills, and after four months, I was able to transfer to *** College, where I just graduated with two honor degrees (4.00 GPA), an Associate of Arts and an Associate of Science - Business Management Transfer Pathway. Besides studying, I used part of my free time to get involved with other activities, like doing volunteer work and participating in on-campus peer tutoring, as a way to enhance my English, make new friends, and gain valuable real-world skills. Maintaining a good academic performance is always my top priority, and I believe that I fully understand my responsibility as a student.
Currently, I am on my Post-Completion Optional Practical Training (OPT) period, which just started on **/**/2020. OPT is a program that allows international students to pursue employment, either paid or unpaid, to gain practical training and working experience related to their fields of study. For my OPT, I intend to volunteer for the organization that I would detail below where I completed my internship during the last semester. I plan to start in March, as I am taking a break right now as a reward for studying hard and reaching my set goals.
Majoring in Business and having completed some business courses, I acknowledge the effects of globalization in business and the values of building a global mindset. Thus, after four years studying in the States, I would love to transfer to Canada, which is recognized for its high-quality and accredited education system, safety, reasonable costs, and the welcoming and diverse community, not only to continue my education, but also to gain more experience while being abroad. My search ended up with the 4-year bachelor's degree program in Business and Administration - Concentration Steam: HR Management & Organizational Behavior at The University of Winnipeg (UWinnipeg).
I choose the UWinnipeg because of its small class sizes and energetic inclusive diverse community as well as a variety of student organizations and supportive campus services. As stated on the school website, "class sizes between 30-60 students" is what will benefit me the most. I would have more time to ask questions and connect with professors and classmates, enhancing the learning experience and teamwork skills. I also appreciate the prompt, accurate, and detailed response of the school's recruiter when I asked for information. On top of that, UWinnipeg's BASA - Business Administration Students' Association, which is a volunteer student group, offers many great opportunities for business students to apply concepts they learn in class and experience the business world. I value the education quality, offered courses, and the learning experience that UWinnipeg offers.
I believe that Human Resources is a good fit for me because of my passion to support, encourage, and interact with people. I first started being a peer tutor in writing at MCTC in Fall 2018 after getting a recommendation from my English professor, and thanks to this valuable opportunity, I realized how I enjoyed assisting students in improving their writing skills and communicating with them to get to learn their cultures and know them better. For my internship, I also served as a HR - Volunteer Management Assistant assisting in volunteer recruitment and assisting HR department with administrative tasks at the ** Center. As I only had general business courses, I learned a lot about HR from this internship, and I knew it was a right career choice for me.
There is no doubt that human capital plays an important role in businesses' success. Hiring and training the right people, building a winning culture, and strengthening the corporate's values are critical factors that help make a business to prosper. As my family owns two businesses, one of them was just started at the end of 2018, so I want to come back home after earning my bachelor's degree to contribute my knowledge, experience, and skills, helping my parents to run, strengthen, and expand the businesses. Knowledge and skills that I learn from the HR courses would help me know how to recruit, train, and retain the right people, how to build and enhance an inclusive and dynamic work environment, how to emphasize and effectively deliver our businesses' values to our employees, or how to adjust and balance our companies' policies, benefits, and culture with the prospective diverse workforce. With the management courses that I learn in America, along with HR knowledge I learn in Canada, I believe I can successfully achieve my goals and pursue my ideal career.
As mentioned above, I intend to do my OPT in March, which is volunteering for the Volunteer Department of the Community Action center, so I plan to start my studies in the fall semester, which is the start date 2 in the LOA. My parents will pay for my studies and living expenses while I am in Canada, and I am pleased to provide all supporting documents.
Attached to this letter are the documents that prove my legal status as an international student in the United States, proof of my internship and student employment (first authorization and exit authorization), and my transcript.
I am of course at your disposal to provide you with any additional documents that you deem useful for the processing of my Study Permit application.
Thank you in advance for the time devoted to your kind consideration of my application.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 12,686 4117
At this point, since you already have two degrees to speak of, you need to provide a solid career direction upon your return to your home country. The career direction will need to align itself with your additional studies in Canada by highlighting the connection between your previous 2 courses, the Business and Administration - Concentration Steam: HR Management & Organizational Behavior studies you wish to pursue in Canada, and how all 3 aspects interconnect in a manner that would turn you into a world class business manager. For example, you could say that the reason you are garnering business experience is because, upon your return to your home country, you will be taking charge of a family business. Explain what the family business is and how it can benefit from your international business management know-how and experience.
You may also want to consider adding a justification that elaborates upon how this course of study is the logical next step for your education. Consider how it connects to the previous studies you completed. How do these courses connect? What is the final outcome that you hope to gain by the end of the collaborative studies? How does it apply to your job once you return to your home country?
The question isn't so much about why you chose a Canadian university but rather, how the Canadian educational and social experience applies itself to your career goals. Reasons such as networking, enhanced business negotiation skills, and other things that you could learn to perform well at the university would help increase the importance of your study plan. However, the interconnected study plan proposal / explanation only works if you can actually justify it in the letter.
Since you did not include the instructions for writing this essay, I am not so sure that you need to include information about how you will be financially supported in Canada. That is not a normal, nor required part of a study plan. A study plan only focuses on what you want to learn, how you hope to learn it, and how you will be applying it in the workplace. Your essay falls short of that representation so it is difficult for me to say that this study plan is on the right track.