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Study Plan for studying abroad but Im not good at writing! Need some help !

Jason Nguyen 2 / 3  
May 15, 2019   #1
I am writing to....:
· My name is A and I was born in a family with strongly experience in gasoline trading. For more than 40 years in petrol business which my parents has descended from grandfather. My parents are very successful in their careers. I am proud of them. I regard them as my role model. I make my resolution to study hard for standing out in the future.

· As a teenager, I spent almost my summer in my grandfather's gas station and kept an eyes on business activities. At that formative age, I learn pretty much about operating business services which urged me to choose business for my career in the future. Therefore, after I graduated from high school, I chose to pursue professional knowledge about business. In 2011, I was enrolled to study at Troy University, with a major in Business Administration (in English). And then in June 2016, I finally graduated from Troy University, the associated Saigon Technology University. I have mainly studied about how to administer a business.

· After 4 years of study in Ho Chi Minh City, I came back to my hometown and worked as an accountant in a gas station which is one of five gas stations in my family chain store. My family company name is XXX Petrol Gasoline Trading Co.Ltd and was founded in 2000, after 16-year we have license to expand our business outside the traditional market, now we can trade goods in most cities in Vietnam such as Dak Lak, Dong Nai, Ho Chi Minh City and all centrally governed cities. I realized that it is more challenging than I had imagined which makes me more attracted to it. One year later, I was promoted for a new position as the store manager and now is head of sale department. Business is a very interesting field where i have a prerogative to apply my strategies on market and have been exposed to various behavioral attitudes of individuals. Nonetheless, I found myself lack of advanced knowledge business which I need to improve weaknesses and enhance the strengths of the family business. After 3 years working,I found that many family businesses still have many weaknesses that inhibit development such as lack of good organization, leadership role and application of technology in management. Moreover, if I am slow in updating administrative knowledge to build the appropriate business strategy to compete with other rivals, the company will have to face to fall behind. I am now ready to complete my missing knowledge to achieve my goal.

· As far as I know that Canada tops the list as the most educated country in the world in CNBC magazine ranking in 2018. After comparison, I finally choose to study abroad in the Canada because of its famous education and safety living place. Another reason for choosing Canada is that students who have studied in Canada are very successful in managing business strategy or setting up a new business. It seem to me that it is a precious chance to combine my experience and academic knowledge in BA degree 4 years for a course in Langara College where I has been accepted to study Business Administration Post-Degree Diploma.

· Upon completion of my post degree diploma, I will come back to my hometown and plan to join in management with a strong educational background. The Vietnamese economy grew fastest rate in the past 11 years and will continue to develop. Therefore, I thinks that this study will help me in making a difference in my professional career and develop the company in a comprehensive direction.

· As demonstrated, I had a passion for business and looking for solutions for the development of my family business during the economic booming in Vietnam. I realize that Canada will give me the opportunity to improve my education and broaden my vision in business.

Maria - / 1,099 389  
May 15, 2019   #2
@Jason Nguyen
Don't get overwhelmed; let's take this step by step.

First and foremost, I think it's great that you're starting off with an introduction of yourself. I would only suggest that you attempt to make this portion concise. While this is necessary for them to get to know you as an individual, it also leaves little space for you to discuss more of your academic goals. Remember that when you are writing for study plans, your aim is to showcase to them that you would be a fruitful and productive member of their academic community. You should do this through showing off your best angles and ensuring that they are aware of your in-depth interest in their university.

Having said that, I would omit certain portions of your third paragraph because it appeared to be a block of text. It is wise to evade having these lengthy paragraphs because it can be exhausting on the evaluators' eyes. Instead, opt for short and sweet relaying of your background information.

For instance, is it really necessary for you for you to explain the entire trajectory/history of your career with your family's company? While this may be important to you as an individual because of your personal affiliation with the story, it's not quite vital if you seek to discuss your educational goals in the future. Learn to prioritize what you are going to say.

Additionally, it would also be wise if you could add more specific details as to the rationale of why you have chosen this country specifically. What attracts you to Canada? What attracts you to this university? What attracts you to the curriculum? You need to be able to link these concepts altogether to ensure that you have control over the direction of your thoughts in the essay.

If you seek to explain how this path will help you in the long-run, expound this in more detail.

Keep these in mind. Best of luck as always! You can do it.

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