Suitable candidate - motivational letter Finance Stipendium Hungaricum for Master

Hello, I would like some feedback on my motivational letter, thank you in advance. The main focus is to answer "Why are you a suitable candidate" and along with other points and criteria that can help answer my question:

Motivation Letter

I am writing the motivation essay to express my genuine interest in Master's program in Corporate Finance at your esteemed institution. I am eager to study in a chosen program for 2 reasons: this aligns with my undergraduate's program - Bachelor of business administration in finance, and this is the way to enhance my already decent financial skills for one goal - to help Kazakhstan's small and medium-sized businesses in financial management. Thus, the goal is to open a financial-consulting business that will help small companies to help with financial management, strategic finance and enhance their business model after finishing Master's program.
I would like to study in Hungary for several reasons. Firstly, Hungarian universities provide education of European level that allows students to study in accredited places and learn strong financial programs with a focus on practice and research on businesses. Also, Hungary has many regional offices of the largest financial corporations like units of European banks, Big4 and even some of Big3 companies that let students to use their knowledges in practice, and improve their financial skills in consulting and financial management. With that, I expect to learn strong financial programs with an emphasis on strategic finance and employ these knowledges in practice during internship in one of the financial centers of Eastern Europe.
At present, I am studying in 4th course, and also, I have completed 2 internships: first internship has been completed in Tele2/Altel company in an accounting department, the second one has been completed in Home Credit Bank in treasury department. Although I have many more minor experiences which are connected to my specialization, in my opinion, these 2 internships best affected my view on finances. By completing these internships, I have discovered how important can be financial management in such big international companies, however our small and medium-sized businesses in Kazakhstan lack of quality financial management. However, with them I can clearly see in what area I am eager to evolve the most -corporate finance. For me, it is the most difficult in practice and the best area in finance, and I want to handle it in pursuit of my own goal.
As I said earlier, Hungary is famous in teaching corporate finance by having local offices of many international financial institutions, and focusing more on financial practice than theory. With these factors the program can help me to achieve my main goal by giving much practice of my main specialization in one of the financial institutions. In my country there are some problems of financial management for small and medium-sized businesses that include problems in budgeting, financial strategies, working capital management etc. In local and national level, it will not let many small companies to go bankrupt after doing business and help them to earn more earnings in the long run. In the future, I will use my new knowledges to consult companies in my country. In detail, I will be able to diagnose main financial problem in company, then accordingly I will utilize my knowledges to solve their issue. No wonder finance is called 'blood of business' since it's the main and major resource of any working company.
Also, I am aware that studying abroad will bring challenges. I expect psychological pressure from living away from my family and the difficulty of adjusting to a new academic and cultural environment. Another obstacle will be the language barrier, especially outside the classroom. However, I consider these challenges as opportunities for growth. I will be ready to learn Hungarian language to lessen the extent of language barrier and adapt to local culture, accepting their traditions and rules, and I believe that my resilience, adaptability, and motivation will allow me to overcome these difficulties.

This is not a competitive essay. It lacks substance. You have written blank information. Blank information in this case means you have provided publicly known information, but not personal evidence that supports your statements. There is also a sense of confusion when you say you are taking your 4th course. That is something that the reviewers may not understand because they are not familiar with your country's educational system. You may want to explain that to the reviewer in your text. Additionally, you have not been able to convince the reviewer of your purpose for choosing this scholarship. I do not see clear evidence of academic and professional alignment in the essay. You will need to provide more substance to your presented information.

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Master's program in Finance - Motivation letter for Stipendium Hungaricum

Hello, I would like some feedback on my motivational letter, thank you in advance. The main focus is to answer "Why are you a suitable candidate" and along with other points and criteria that can help answer my question:

Motivation Letter

Dear Admissions Committee,
I am writing the motivation essay to express my genuine interest in Master's program in Finance at your esteemed institution. I am eager to study in a chosen program for 2 reasons: this aligns with my undergraduate's program - Bachelor of business administration in finance, and this is the way to enhance my already decent financial skills. For instance, during my bachelor's studies in Business Administration with a major in Finance at Narxoz University, I developed a strong foundation in corporate finance, particularly through courses such as Financial Modeling and Stock Analysis and Business Evaluation. This experience strengthened my interest in financial decision-making at the corporate level, and inspired me to pursue a Master's program that would deepen my analytical and strategic expertise. I strive Master's program because I plan to help Kazakhstan's small and medium-sized businesses in financial management. Thus, the goal is to open a financial-consulting business that will help small companies to help with financial management, strategic finance and enhance their business model after finishing Master's program.
I would like to study in Hungary because of its growing reputation in the field of applied finance education and its strong integration with the European financial sector. In particular, Hungarian University of Agriculture and Life Sciences provides an advanced business and methodological knowledge, with which I can analyze and manage the financial processes of the economy at both the macro and micro levels. Especially, such courses as Advanced Finance, Advanced Corporate Finance and Econometrics in Finance will boost my current knowledges, which will be crucial for my future consulting company. Also, Hungary has many regional offices of the largest financial corporations like units of European banks, Big4 and even some of Big3 companies that let students to use their knowledges in practice, and improve their financial skills in consulting and financial management. With that, I expect to learn strong financial programs with an emphasis on strategic finance and employ these knowledges in practice during internship in one of the financial centers of Eastern Europe.
I am currently a senior in a Bachelor's program in Business Administration and Finance. During my studies, I have completed two key internships. During my first internship at Tele2/Altel in summer of 2024, I assisted in preparing accounting statements and learned how accurate accounting impacts management decisions. One year later, in summer of 2025, at Home Credit Bank's Treasury Department, I was working in treasury department and analyzed short-term liquidity positions and created Power BI reports of owners of the bank's bonds. These experiences helped me to understand the vital role of short-term liquidity and accounting statements in company's life and inspired me to deepen my finance knowledges and aim for Master in Finance since another qualification will help me to understand how every aspect of corporate finance is linked and can be managed in every business. Comparing the experience of large international corporations with the situation of small businesses in Kazakhstan, I noticed that many local companies lack proper financial management such as working capital management, pursuing of enough liquidity and lack of financial planning and strategy. This contrast became my personal motivation to develop in corporate finance and help small enterprises build effective financial systems.
However, with them I can clearly see in what area I am eager to evolve the most -corporate finance. For me, it is the most difficult in practice and the best area in finance, and I want to handle it in pursuit of my own goal.
As I said earlier, Hungary is famous in teaching corporate finance by having local offices of many international financial institutions. With these factors the program can help me to achieve my main goal by giving much practice of my main specialization in one of the financial institutions. After finishing my Master's degree, I plan to establish a financial consulting firm that will support small and medium-sized enterprises in Kazakhstan. Many SMEs in my country face difficulties in budgeting, capital structure optimization, and cash flow management. By applying advanced tools in corporate finance and strategic planning that I will gain during the program, I aim to help these businesses improve financial stability and long-term profitability.
Also, I understand that studying abroad will bring cultural and academic challenges, but I see them as an opportunity for personal and professional growth. My motivation, adaptability, and commitment to contributing to Kazakhstan's financial development make me confident that I can succeed in this program and fully realize its opportunities.