I will be much appreciated if anyone give feedback on my motivational letter to apply for Stipendium Hungaricum scholarship.
letter of motivation
From the very beginning of my memories, I remember I was a kid who eagerly tries to assemble a toy car out of a tiny match box and creates outfits from scratch to dress up my doll. This early passion had led me to realize my strong craving for everything related to art and design. Thus, I studied Fashion Design and graduated successfully in 2016.
Following my graduation, I wanted to apply my knowledge in the workforce and got hired as a knitting design engineer by a reputable cashmere company in Mongolia. My duties include analyzing new designs, making detailed flat sketches, giving instructions to produce first samples and developing them further. For the past five years as a knitting design engineer in three different companies, I came across many challenges and obstacles which taught me how to work efficiently using better communication and analytical mindset. But there has left a longing to explore more and dive deeper into the vastness of design field. Hence, I challenged myself and took an interior design class in 2020, in which I learned the basics and techniques of creating interiors. This experience, along with my work experience in a fashion company made me understand that design is not only about looks and feeling, but it should be usable and sustainable in order to become complete. Becoming aware of this, I decided to advance my already gained knowledge and skills even further by pursuing Master's degree in Hungary. I will be able to study courses that are concerned with design thinking, innovation and climate consciousness which will help me to become a highly qualified designer.
I chose Hungary, mainly because of my dream to study in a European country where education is of excellent quality, living is affordable and culture is diverse. I am quite overwhelmed by the idea of living by myself in a foreign country where English is not widely spoken. But at the same time, I am excited to meet new people and witness diverse culture and environment. Hence, I will make this life-changing experience even better by learning Hungarian to communicate easily and preparing myself to embrace a whole new chapter of my life.
In the next five years after my graduation, I want to devote myself to Mongolian cashmere industry where good professionals are at need and contribute in their paths to become recognized worldwide. In the long run, my biggest goal is to establish a design workshop spanning the fields of art, fashion, interior and graphic design. It would be the place where artistic young generations learn the fundamentals and experiment different activities, eventually leading them to find their ultimate passion and motivation in life. As these kinds of organization are insufficient in Mongolia, I see this opportunity to make an impactful contribution to my country.
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Thus, I studied Fashion Design
This reference does not tie in with the earlier story in the paragraph. The implication was along the lines of you having an interest in mechanics or electronics. Definitely not fashion desigh. Since this is an MA application, it will be better if you do not refer to this paragraph. Instead, focus on the professional experience you have had over the past 2 years or more, that have motivated you towards higher learning and advanced training.
My duties include
This is unnecessary. You do not need to mention your duties and responsibilities as you are not applying for a job but a scholarship.
I chose Hungary
These are generic reasons. How does the interior design field of Hungary influence your decision? I am guessing that you are applying for such a masters course right? Right now, you are not really on a definite learning path as your essay is constantly referring to varying interests, which may lead to a lack of clarity in your presentation, thus working against your application. Is it fashion design or interior design? I really cannot tell and neither can the reviewer. Focus. Write the motivation based on the actual MA you are applying to.