Can someone please read my motivation letter for Erasmus Mundus scholarship and give me your feedback and corrections to be made. Thank you in advance.
Dear admission committee,
To begin with, I was elated when I learned of this scholarship opportunity. With this letter, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to Ecole Centrale de Nantes for this masters program and my desire to pursue it.
A persistent willingness to learn new things, an aspiration to work as a scholar, and a desire to be a part of and contribute to the evolution of the technological environment have all been driving aspects in my life. I graduated with a Bachelor of Engineering degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering as my major from Saranathan College of Engineering affiliated with Anna University, India which provided me with a basis for understanding various fields of electrical and electronics with both theoretical and practical exposure. During my bachelors, I had an opportunity to participate in multiple national-level solar vehicle competitions which spurred my interest in electric vehicles and their environmental benefits. To broaden my understanding in this field, I attended an international conference on Power Electronics and renewable energy systems which helped me with the publication of my paper on "A Simplified Guidelines for Design and Fabrication of Prototype Electrical Vehicle" in the Springer LNEE journal series. In addition, this has given me an ethical understanding of the notion of how minimizing dependency on fossil fuels can ultimately lead to more sustainable transportation and a reduction of environmental burden in the future.
My main objective for choosing this program is to understand the development of innovative technological advancements that will enhance the efficiency and accessibility of electrical automobiles. I believe, widespread adoption of sustainable technology will have a significant profound impact on climate change.
I also strongly believe, this course will help me understand the technical and scientific solutions to the problems regarding fossil fuel consumption, greenhouse gas emissions, and environmental implications.
To give a brief highlight of ongoing research that relates to my area of interest is of Professor Pascal Chessé (Head of the D2SE) of Ecole Centrale de Nantes - Decarbonization and depollution of energy systems research group, and their aim of reducing fossil fuel consumption and polluting emissions in the ongoing collaboration with Mann + Hummel.
Studies at your university and the partnered universities would furthermore, due to the internationality would provide an insight into nationalities and diverse cultures
throughout the world. With the financial aid from Erasmus Mundus Scholarship, it would really help me as a student to avail the best infrastructure, faculty, best academic facilities, and environment. There are numerous educational institutes in India where master's degrees can be obtained, although the study here is more theoretical than practical.
Studying at your university would be a major step towards accomplishing my goals. If given the opportunity, I am confident that I will be able to make a substantial contribution to the University's academic endeavors. Continuous progress is a key to life. I am certain that the quality knowledge and impeccable guidance would mold me to be in the learning mode all my life opening the way for constant growth as a person and a professional.
I am eagerly looking forward to being a part of your academic community. I would be glad if I am accorded the opportunity to pursue higher studies at your esteemed University. I assure you that I will abide by the standards of your university and will be a worthy student. Thank you for the opportunity given to me to express myself.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 12,303 3989
You are addressing the wrong audience. The letter must be addressed to the consortiun, not the university reviewer. You are still applying for the scholarship. You have not received it yet. Reformat the letter to address the correct audience.
The essay does not address how your educational background addresses the foundational requirements of the courses you have chosen. Neither have you focused on a thesis research that can be addressed during both years of study. The letter does not explain your strengths as a scholarship applicant either. Academic accomplishments aside, what professional achievements of note do you offer that would make you a preferred candidate?
There is a failure to discuss how these courses of note will help you promote a modernization of your field of work once you return to your home couintry. What improvements do you hope to address in particular?
As a draft, this has some usable points, but mostly, it is taking a shot in the dark at the scholarship by not addressing the prompt requirements with specificity. Try to revise the essay to better address the written interview requirements in the form of a motivational letter.