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HanNguyen0510 18 / 40 17  
Jan 18, 2019   #1
You have seen an advertisement for an evening course to study a foreign language.

Write a letter to the institution offering the course.

In your letter:

- Ask for details of the course
- Ask if the course teachers are qualified, native speakers
- Request that the institution sends you their brochure

Dear Sir/Madam,
I have approached the advertising of Chinese evening classes at your organization, and I would like to request further details about the course.

Although I have been able to communicate well in Chinese, my language proficiency need to be consolidated, and are the course's components made for advanced learners? Also, the advertisement does not include a registration fee following a particular programme about which I am inquiring in this e-mail.

Besides, I prefer to acquire knowledge from a native teacher who has been qualified for teaching because they are good at coaching learners in pronunciation as well as fluency, which apparently will enhance my language acquisition. Therefore, I would like to know if your teaching teams are trained, native speaking teachers?

Finally, I would like to collect a brochure, which you send to me using this email address, that I am interested in obtaining some information about the other course offered at your institution.

I am looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Han Nguyen
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,210 3650  
Jan 19, 2019   #2
Han, you need to try and write a longer letter next time. While you delivered on the required information as instructed, you need to think about these letters in terms of how you might have written it in your native language. A letter of inquiry needs to be more probing with its questions. Relate your language skills with the inquiries you will be making. Expand the discussion as provided by the instructions of the prompt. Don't just settle for representing the instructions in your letter. That is the safe way to write, but it is not the best way to increase your final score.

Do your best to follow the instructions for the paragraph writing in these essays. 3-5 sentences per paragraph, no run-ons, and clear statements within the paragraph. What you wrote is a good start. Though not formal enough for an official inquiry presentation, it at least shows that you can think in English. Fluency will follow over time, with practice. You are not being scored on fluency at this point, just on your ability to present a clear and understandable representation of what the letter needs to contain.

Grammar problems do exist throughout your essay but those should improve over time, provided you continue to practice writing in English as often as you can. Since letter writing seems to be one of your weak points, you should try to write more of these exercises per day. Say 3- 4 letters per day, during your free time. This practice will help to increase your English thinking in relation to English sentence structure and writing abilities.