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Write a letter to newspaper editor for elderly relative grateful the young man by telling story.


Dear Editor:

I am a owner of the Twin Tower Condo, and I want to tell an important true story which may encourage young people to do more fort elderly people.

It happened at 24 September, and recently, my elderly relative was shopping in a super big market and she suffered minor injuries because she fell awkardly when she was in a harry for the promotion of clothing in front of her. She found out her leg were painful and she couldn't get up. She started asking for help but people around just disregard her with their phones and walked away. she didn't know what to do, she jsut sat there and doing nothing.

She said that she was very grateful that a young man helped her up and carried her on his to the emergency room. There were no nurses and doctors in the room, and this young man started to intruduce himself that he is a college student who is studying medical science, he took the medical supplies and start to help my relative for treat.

My relative actually wanted to thank him for helping her, but he lefted the scene immdiately after treat. she went home and she asked me to write a letter to your and wishing that people can pay more attention on elderly people, she think having a heart that is willing to help others are important for modern people.

Hoping and looking forward for the feedback.

Your faithfully

(xxx)
Date by: 25 September, 2016

Hi Amir,
Welcome to EF Team! :)

Here's my analysis towards your letter, especially in the beginning part of your letter. I hope you can follow through.

- Dear Editor:Dear Editor,(comma is more appropriate than colon)
- I am athe owner of the Twin Tower Condo., and(period, new sentence) I want to tell an (...) to do more fortefforts in helping elderly people.

- It was happened aton 24 September, and recently(why did you say "recently" if it was happened in the past?) , my elderly relative was shoppingwent shopping in a super bigbig supermarket and she suffered minor injuries. (period, new sentence)This was because she fell awkardlyaccidentally slipped and fell when she was in a harryhurry for the promotion of clothingclothing discounts/promotions in front of her. (too long sentence often leads to inaccuracies and confusing meaning if you don't have sufficient knowledge about grammar. Thus, reducing the words usage is more preferable)

- She found out that her legs were so painful and she couldn'tcould not get up.
- ...people around just disregardignored her with theirby keep concentrating on their phones and walked away.
- (mind the capitalization usage)Shedidn'tdid not know what to do. Shejsutjust sat there and doingdid nothing.

Overall, I can see that you still have major problems with grammar and spellings. You need to be more careful next time. Good luck in making the revision. Do not hesitate to ask if you need further assistance. :)


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