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Writing a motivational letter to study Computer Science and Engineering at KOC University Turkey

mattuche 2 / 2 1  
Aug 10, 2020   #1


Over the course of human existence, our ability to create and innovate new opportunities is one of the main reasons humans have evolved from the stone age to the light (Jet) age. I have always sought to continue this trend in innovation by combining creativity with current scientific knowledge in the field of Computer engineering. My interest in this field drove me to pursue a study in Physics Electronics, which has greatly enhanced my ability to not only recognize the need for new innovation around me but also how to address those needs. Through this master's program in Computer Science and Engineering, I will be able to take my knowledge and skills in the field of Computer Engineering to the next level.

The major reason I'm applying for this program is to continue my studying and boost my knowledge and skills in creativity and innovation in the field of computer engineering and I hope to become one of the leading experts in this field. With the rapid growth in ICT development and innovation in the world today, (for instance, the introduction of 5G Network) the need for computer engineers cannot be overemphasized, and I believe that KOC University is the perfect place to achieve this goal.

During the last four years, I have worked as an IT Support Engineer in various organizations in Nigeria. My role encompasses everything from Computer engineering to Network design, applications, implementation, and system troubleshooting. I believe that my work experience in Computer and Networking engineering represents an advantage because I have learned to operate, configure and troubleshoot different kinds of computer and their applications, for this reason, I have managed to integrate myself in a team where each member could learn from the other without hesitation.

After graduating from this program, I wish to work in Turkey to use the skills grasped from KOC University to improve the Turkish ICT Sector, and then upon returning to my home country Nigeria, I will also work with the State Government to enhance the Information and communication network system in the rural part of Nigeria by introducing the new and innovated skills learned from KOC University.

In addition to my desire to bolster my knowledge base with additional insight from my course work, I also hope to be able to engage with classmates to complete

team-based projects that will summon us to think critically and apply interdisciplinary ideas. Through the training, knowledge, and skills I will receive from this program, my expectation is to be prepared to take on an industrial level challenge in the nearest future and create (innovate) a permanent solution to the striking challenge of poor information and communication system in the rural part of Nigeria.

In regards to my extra-curriculum activities, I like listening to music, engaging in sporting activities like football competitions, traveling and surfing the internet. I appreciate the value of insistence, ambition, and team spirit. I have learned that commitment is a necessity for success.

Should you require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me.
Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your favorable reply.
JackieMahamn 3 / 7 5  
Aug 10, 2020   #2
* These are some of my remarks on your letter.
- The clause "humans have evolved from the stone age to the light (Jet) age" seems not to match the previous clause. Also, I do not understand why you mention "the light age". Therefore, I think the change for this one should be taken.

- The phrase "my studying" should become "my study". Additionally, the phrase "to continue my studying and boost my knowledge and skills ..." has "and" as a repetition. So, you can subsitute the second "and" for "as well as".

- The phrase "in the field of...." should be replaced sometimes because it's so repetitive.
- The clause "(for instance, the introduction of 5G Network) the need for computer engineers cannot ..." is so long. So, you need to separate this one into smaller ones so as to make it easily understandable. On top of that, you shouldn't use the round brackets in the letter or any formal writings.

- The phrase "for this reason" shoud be put between semicolon and comma (;...,) because it acts as a linking phrase of 2 sentences.
- The phrase "and then upon returing... KOC university" is so long, so you need to split this one into smaller ones as well.
- The phrase "interdisciplinary ideas" should be replaced by "interdisciplinary knowledge" because this sounds better.
- You should add "the" before "poor information and communication system".
- The phrase should become "In regards to".
- In the phrase "the value of insistence", I can't get what you mean when it comes to "insistence". Therefore, I think you should look up this word again.

* I hope that these comments are beneficial to your writing enhancement process.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,734 3791  
Aug 10, 2020   #3
The motivational letter went overboard. It delved into statement of purpose topics already. The most relevant paragraphs in this presentation are paragraphs 1, 2, 5. The last paragraph belongs in the personal statement. Those are the paragraphs that have the information the reviewer will tend to look for. One major focus of your motivation letter should be an explanation that clarifies your motivation to apply for admission to this university. There are other universities in your home country where you can study. So, why the need to leave the country? What were the academic factors that influenced your decision to apply for admission to this university? What made it so special? That should be the last statement that closes this essay. That is also a major motivating factor that the reviewer will look for so do not neglect to explain this section in great detail.

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