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I have written Motivation letter for scholarship - I need your help in revision or expert opinion.


msamitech 1 / -  
Dec 20, 2020   #1
One of the most important parts of your application is the motivation letter. Its goal is to introduce your background and support your application. In short, its goal is to answer the question:

"Why are you a suitable candidate?"



Write in a clear and logical manner: remember, the way you write and present yourself says a lot about you.

My Motivation Letter :
Motivation Letter
Dear Ma'am/Sir,
I am writing to apply for the M.S in Computer Sciences program, in which I am hugely intrigued. The degree from one of the most distinguished, elitist and regarded University is my opportunity to advance my insight and expertise outgrowth in this way adding value to mankind

.Being splendid and inclined towards this field since my youth, I had figured out how to get a confirmation in the University of Sindh, Jamshoro (the second oldest University in Pakistan) on the legitimacy and ended up making sure about 3.47/4.00 CGPA in Bachelors of Computer Science. Also, I bore the entirety of the costs identified with learns at my own. This thing truly won laurels for me and a matter of constant pride that even physical disability couldn't stop me from being a productive citizen. However, I paved my own way for progress and I have complete confidence in my inward capacities and unending potential. I'm truly eager about critical thinking aptitudes and invest wholeheartedly in doing so explicitly regarding operational and morphological perspectives.

During 2010 Flooding in Sindh Pakistan, I willfully and enthusiastically worked with NGOs related to UNO and UNDP in setting of data entry of raw information 'grouping and arrangement through legitimate programming and the executives' frameworks. I found out about the examination cycle, investigation and graphical introduction of information in the best manner. Also, I took a shot at a venture on Campus Management System where I rehearsed my web-development aptitudes widely comprising HTML, CSS and other programming nuts and bolts.

I'm truly keen on acing a Master's Degree from Hungary University in any sub-fields of Computer Sciences; (Front) Web Development, information data or Cyber Security. While offering both profundity and breadth over this field, these courses put into viewpoint the pertinence of Computer Science and the use of its basics to the issues offered by this present reality. In this way, I can recognize that further improvement of my insight base of Computer Science is fundamental for my profession. I will have an extraordinary commitment to the general public since I have thoughts to create many energizing ventures and I accept this expertise can give me strong hypothetical and down to earth base.

I am a lot anxious to receive and find out about new advancements. I am energetic to go to a Master of Information and Data Science, Cyber security or artificial intelligence to comprehend diverse Computer Science Concepts because each industry these days needs the idea of Computer Science. The great standing of excellent instruction guidelines, a very recognized faculty, and research facilities are the variables which have persuaded me to decide for my Masters from the University of Hungary.

Besides, I believe I am liable for taking a major action in this field and this grant will allow me in my lifetime to be one day somebody who is associated with his developments. I think it is our duty to leave something in legacy to the world and impending ages. This is the best way to make this world a superior spot.

I would offer my leadership abilities, a solid instructive foundation and want to go above and beyond than the others would. I have the correct scholastic record, the correct aptitudes and mentality to succeed and I am persuaded that this program is the privilege venturing stone for my expert aspirations. In this way, I can understand that learning and building up my insight into Computer Science, I will have an incredible commitment to the general public since our nation starts to move from manual framework to mechanize.

I accept my capability and your requirements would be a phenomenal fit. I will be glad to give any additional data or documents whenever required. I anticipate your positive reaction. Much obliged to you for your time and thought.

Yours faithfully,

Muhammad Sami

I'm looking forward for your revisions and suggestions . It will really help me out
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4783  
Dec 21, 2020   #2
Sadly, the length of the letter is not justified by the content. There was a failure on your part to present a clear motivation for your studies. The questions provided were supposed to be the guide questions by which you would have completed the motivation letter. Yet, you failed to clearly respond to any of the questions. Your letter is extremely wordy. It is almost as if you did it as a English writing exercise rather than a true motivation letter. Your thought process is not clear in the essay because, as the writer, you seem to have focused on using drama and "dictionary" based words that, when strewn together, does not make sense to a native English reader. There is no true information to be gained from this presentation. I am not sure what you wrote here but it definitely is not a motivation letter based on the requirements you were given.

What you need to properly develop a motivational letter for the Hungarium Stupendum is professional help. You need someone to read your credentials, interview you, then write the motivation letter for you. This confusing presentation shows that you do not have the ability to understand the information requirement, and how to present it, to the reviewer. Seek professional help in writing this letter.


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