hope that makes sense.
Well...yes, now that you gave me that lengthy explanation! Haha! Perhaps it is just me. Do most of the people you show this to understand without asking? If the answer is "yes," then erase everything I say. teehee. But I think you can come up with something a little clearer without losing the morsel part (I love that).
Poetry should have a certain amount of ambiguity and mystery, I think, while steering clear of perplexity or incomprehension (she says while writing yet another
nonsensical haiku). :)
I don't mean to nit-pick, I'm just giving one opinion.