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On a Camp ('I saw you from the distance')

Denice 2 / 14  
Sep 4, 2011   #1
I saw you from the distance,
Making a cheerful glance;
Even though you make no better dance,
Evermore with God, you're given a chance:
To worship Him with all your heart, for instance.

Yelling for our tribe to victory,
Others may think, just a fantasy;
Under the influence of God, it may be a mystery,
Optimistic to win the battle, to be a team prodigy,
Nobody can stop us be: THE WINNERS, undauntedly.

Another birthday was given you,
Call unto God, forget not to:
Aim to serve with a clean heart all through,
May you be blessed, I tell you all true;
Pay no love to the world, it will make you sad and blue.

Denice Joyce
Angelad2012 - / 5  
Sep 4, 2011   #2
I would love to help. But what exactly do you wish for me to do?
OP Denice 2 / 14  
Sep 5, 2011   #3
i want you to improve this poem. I guess you could put some suggestions.
anangelaa 2 / 2  
Sep 5, 2011   #4
this sounds awesome already
OP Denice 2 / 14  
Sep 5, 2011   #5
oh, thanks. but do you think she would like this poem, I mean the one I am referring to in the poem.
Angelad2012 - / 5  
Sep 11, 2011   #6
I honestly think this is an aswesome poem. &yeah i think that person you are writing it for will like it. (:

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