Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice

Hi,
This is a state of a nation poem!
I have had a go at it knowing I am a learner still.
I appreciate and thank the house in advance for its opinion and voice
Many thanks!!

Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice

My current state began as I chose to become a leader for my nation!
The anticipation, excitement, and anxiety visible
The voters determined yet asking
A deprived populace in need
Instigated by mortification
The youths clamoring for new beginnings
Demanded a political leader
So change beckoned;

To write wrought of the nation and its citizens
The leader made promises
The lyrics plausible the nation glaring;
In this dry and thirsty land, the song was like a water so he yielded
Forgetting that a person who gives in to evil is like a polluted spring
These empty promises he has since denied, she cries 'oh more corruption'

A year on, the nation's story is akin to a bird;
A political leader who plugged and still plugs at the feathers of live birds,
He made a point thus;
They birds once released was in pain, who would not!?
Still, they followed
Because their thought process was saying he feeds me.
Does she not have a choice??
A shout can be heard even from a far
Yet she fears her injustice cry may not be heard

Does this state really reflect the injustice she faces today!?
She now have these facts to chew on
Or the irony which says "the previous administration blossomed like never seen".

If only he becomes a leader who reframes from blaming past events he can not now control.
For only legitimacy problems have arisen,
Interpreted as having no power,
In a crisis, she is weak!
She can not back down on a crisis,
but rather see the crisis as a challenge as opposed to failures,
It would push the nation and her people to strive harder she hopes!

For now, her citizens are silent,
Still, they are heard thinking; the previous administration was more corrupt and wasteful.
She knows tomorrow is pregnant
She becoming adamant to her pain,
In groans"no country leader, is right 100 percent of the time,"
Ohh how rooms are furnished with valuable, beautiful things where there is knowledge,
For in the quietness of her heart, the unspoken is heard,
The unsearchable knowable

For a great leader is one who responds to issues, and situations quickly.
In the leader she elected she for yearns for;
Executives to execute great plans for her
Solution provider, not complainant
She says before the change mantra If she saw corruption she still sees today

She admires her nation so much she overlooks the corruptions however dreamily
She appreciates and would have yesterday
To some extent, she lived simply
It was a nation she knew, believed in and felt she could dream in!!!

For the uncertainty she faces today,
Every second, minute, hour and day she asks one last question
Where was I before?
Where I'm I now??
And where I'm I headed???

Patience, the start of this poem has the feel of an essay. Revise it. By the way, the essay does not talk about your development as a future leader of your country so that stanza at the start might be severely out of place. Actually, the poem becomes more confusing as you progress with reading it. There seem to be three voices in there when there should only be one. Either it is the country (in female voice) that speaks of the leadership she desires or, you speak (in first voice) of how you have become a leader in your country. Rather than saying "Where am I now?" you should be saying "Here I am now" because you implied that you became a leader of your nation somehow. I don't really see that development in any stanzas. So I am convinced that you wrote this in a rush, did not follow the outline topics I suggested, and did not use keywords to develop your stanzas. You may need to revise the whole poem. Just so you can find the voice of the actual "person" who is "speaking" in the essay.

@Holt
Thanks once again,
hehehe @ rushed worked. Yes I did
I have since edited. I would welcome areas or paragraphs I could cut down as the word limit is at 800word and I feel its too long

Corruption, Corruption, and more Corruption or Injustice

Their lives were corrupted by lies,
Their hearts are torn by the hand of corruption
My people determined yet asking
Of whom should they put their trust!?
Certainly, not the previous corrupt minds
For they were corrupt and wasteful

A deprived populace in need
Instigated by mortification
The youths clamoring for new beginnings
Of my people I asked
Why must you marry?
A marriage of convenience in the absence of true love it ended
Adieu to corruption, though far from the truth
They demanded a new political leader
So change the name I called myself beckoned;

As a leader, I asked, why are you so corrupt?
Write wrought of the nation
A painful cry I heard
So I became my people's leader
I also made promises
For the lyrics was plausible the nation glaring;
In this dry and thirsty land, the song was like a water so I yielded
Forgetting that a person who gives in to evil is like a polluted spring
In my defense, the kept complaining
My people's undoing
If my actions were based on good intentions then I have no regret

Though they should have known I was weak,
Weak in old age and now sick I must take care of myself first before my people's affairs
Does this justify me a great leader??
Certainly not, because still torn my people cry 'oh more corruption'
For I have since denied the empty promises I made

By so doing I became corruption by name
My people humming
Now my people's current state is akin to a bird;

A political leader who plugged and still plugs at the feathers of his people,
I must now make my point to my people thus;
The previous leader allowed you freedom
Yet my you cried you were in pain ~ democracy their response
Now without intending, or who knows
My thoughts only I have access to
A featherless bird I released you but in pain, who would not!?
Still, you follow me
What thou seeketh??
You say you have no choice???
The shout can be heard even from a far
Yet you fear your injustice cry may not be heard

Thinking out loud my people asks themselves;
Do we really have only this injustice to reflect in our current state!?

In my leadership, the nation overlooks the corruption
My people's admiration for her nation impeccable however dreamily
My people appreciates and would have yesterday
For in the quietness of their heart,
The unspoken is heard,
The unsearchable knowable

They did not need to say it for as their leader to some extent, knew my people lived simply before I came
No matter the corruption, my people dreamt and lived their dreams!!!
I know the nation, I, myself corrupt!!!
I know my people and my people know me
Now they dare say to me her leader, the change mantra,
True they respond before you came we saw corruption still today we see it
They tell me where they saw corruption before they still see and begs
The irony which says "the previous LEADER blossomed like never seen"

For would I question myself???
Only the have these facts to chew on
As a leader, I can not be seen backing down in a crisis
Then they would of me "a weak man in a crisis, is weak indeed!
I must stay to fight the corruption I was chosen to fight against for my people

Even when old and sickness would not leave me alone
For the uncertainty, my people face today, myself corrupt
Every second, minute, hour and day they look and ask one last question
Where is the leader of yesterday?
Where is the leader of today??
'Here I am' a leader's answer!

For a pregnant tomorrow, my people have locked their hearts away to,
I am a leader
The Remnant of my lies
For my people who yearn for a great leader say I am corruption
They keep complaining
Corruption, corruption, and more corruption or injustice
Oh how, I stand tall, loud and proud in this open land of corruption
I heard their thinking; the previous administration was more corrupt and wasteful so I came.
Adamant in pain,
In groans"no country leader, is right 100 percent of the time,"
How rooms are furnished with valuable, beautiful things where there is knowledge.

For my people who see their current corrupt state as a challenge as opposed to failures should I become a great leader?
Reframing from blaming past events I can not now control
For only legitimacy problems have arisen,
My people interpreting that I have no power,
At the top of their voice, they have screamed a leader weak in a crisis, is weak indeed!
Harder and harder, my people push to strive against corruption!
I am that step of strive
Yet, voices crying corruption, corruption, and more corruption or injustice unceasing

The poem actually got worse after you edited it. It is still speaking in confused tones, tries to put into stanzas too many topics, and does not really have a central point to everything. It is still an essay masquerading as a poem. Please, go back to the advice I gave you for your first poem and follow it once again for the revision of this one. Use one topic and connected keywords for the revised essay. I can see which voice in the poem should be the dominant and sole voice in the corrected version but I may have a different idea from you so I will allow you to choose which topic and which voice you want to use for your poem. I realize that your country has many problems that you want to resolve, but putting it all into one poem isn't going to help you win the contest. All your poem requires in terms of discussion is a focus on the topic you feel most passionate about. Once you do that, the rest of the stanzas and presentations should become clearer and more cohesive in presentation.