tanty 3 / 4 Dec 9, 2008 #1"What if LifeIf Life were paperI would write down all the liesI would file them in partsAnd let them die in my heartIf Life were a candleI would blow all the badI would get all the warmthAnd place in people's palmsIf Life were a lipI would keep all smiles sweetI would kiss all the painsAnd have it lain on my belovedIf Life were a skyI would grind all the sorrowsI would enclose them in every kiteAnd burn them in the sunshineIf Life were snowI would gather all the hateI would make my own snowmanAnd break it down like a gameIf Life were a fightI would sacrifice my fearsI would rear my courageAnd share what I pillagedIf Life were a tunnelI would cover all miseriesI would ease them in the darkAnd start again at the other endIf Life were a graveI would cache all the woundsI would ruin all the hurtAnd turn them into mysteryIf Life were a gardenI would bury all the griefI would seek for new seedsAnd sow them with happinessBut if Life were LoveI wouldn't hold to breatheI would cease the dayI wouldn't stay to liveAnd just love only."Friends told me it was a great poem. How about you?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129 Dec 9, 2008 #3Yes, it is the kind of writing that comes from a rare, deep place within you. Take note of that feeling that you have when re-reading it. Get familiar with that feeling so that you can master it, and draw great, rhythmic lines from that place whenever you want to.Thanks for sharing it with us!!
TheFlameProof 4 / 20 Dec 13, 2008 #4i usually like ending a poem with an image. i think if you rework the last stanza of this poem to incorporate an image of you "wouldn't stay to live/ and just love only," it would benefit the poem greatly.
silverystars 14 / 105 Jan 26, 2009 #8If Life were snowI would gather all the hateI would make my own snowmanAnd break it down like a gameWhat a great image.
blake - / 2 Jan 28, 2009 #9Nice poem. You have really done a very good job. I appreciate your creation but i would like to share one thing about making your original work secured. I would like to tell you about the copyright through which you can be assured that no one can make a duplicate version of your work. So it is always a good option to make copyright of your original work.
