I have to wite a five senses poem(the poet explores his/her emotions as they relate to:sight, smell, taste, sound,and feelings)
This is my Poem:
Love is blind
Rumbling thunder before the storm
Fresh like the earth after morning rain
Smell like beautiful flowers
Tastes like tart sweetness of strawberries
Love is blind, but sees into the heart
Can i write the poem like this...does it make senses?...please help me out
thank you soo much
Love is blind - I like this opening line :-)
It sounds like the thunder before the storm - Is it mandatory to "say" the senses (sounds, feels, etc.)? If not, you might want to use metaphor instead of simile. For instance, instead of "It sounds like the thunder..." you could say, "Rumbling thunder before the storm"
It feels like the earth after the first rain - perhaps "fresh like the earth after morning rain"?
It smells like red roses - I find the "red" a bit distracting, because it makes me think, "do they smell different from yellow roses? white roses? how can it smell like RED roses?"
It tastes like saccharine strawberries - "saccharine" has a somewhat negative connotation these days, denoting something which is too sweet; perhaps the "tart sweetness of strawberries"?
It lives everywhere - I agree, this doesn't seem to fit; perhaps you could refer back to the first line: "Love is blind, but sees into the heart" or something like that.
Your Roses poem does make sense! :-) You might want to add a bit of contrast to it though; too much sweetness can be bland. See what you think of this:
Beautiful and treacherous
Like love that pierces the heart
If only neither had thorns
This is a very different poem in tone from the one you wrote, and you may not like it, but I present to you as an example of contrast; you may do with it as you wish. ;-))
I hope this helps!