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My "suicide note"! (suicide poetry)

aznpoo 7 / 23  
Feb 21, 2007   #1
Please proofread it, if it make sense or not. If I were to leave out the title will you still be able to figure out it is a suicide poetry?

My suicide note

While I contemplate to live or not,
The noose has already determined my fate.
The night became much lonelier,
As it disappear.
Nevermore will I see a tomorrow,
Nevermore will I touch your face,
Nevermore will I ever feel pain.
It was too late, I was in too deep.
As I was grasping for air,
My body drifted away.
It was a sign from above,
The process is complete.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Feb 22, 2007   #2

Yes, definitely, I could tell it was suicide poetry (I hope for an assignment! :-)). Probably the biggest clue is "Nevermore will I see a tomorrow." That might even be just a little too direct; subtlety is good in poetry. I especially like the closing! Just a couple of edits:

As it disappeared.

As I was gasping for air

Very nice!


Sarah, EssayForum.com

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