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where is the..?


bilal ABUZENAH 15 / 81  
Nov 2, 2009   #1
Where is?

Where is the justice?

Where is the peace?

Where is the freedom?

I went everywhere and looked for those
It took me years and years,
I found nothing.
I have no idea where those have goneā€¦.
Why do they want to keep them away from my people?
I do not know!
Who knows?!!
I went back to my country with two black bags full of money!!!!

Everybody was waiting for me,
They wanted me to say something,
I could not!!!!
I raised the two black bags
In that moment, every one knew what happened...
While all of them were shouting at me.
A little child stood and held up a stone in his hand and shouted
This is the justice
This is the peace
This is the way to the happiness.... BILAL
shy1 1 / 1  
Nov 2, 2009   #2
Good, I think u wrote pretty well... I like that poem
OP bilal ABUZENAH 15 / 81  
Nov 2, 2009   #3
thanks shy1. if you don't mind may u please read my other poem...thanks...
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 4, 2009   #4
Punctuation can make it even better, but only if you like it:

I went everywhere and looked for those. ----> I added a period.

Semi-colon:
I raised the two black bags;
In that moment, every one knew what happened...
zebrasapien 1 / 8  
Nov 6, 2009   #6
Where are you from? Is it not important? I think I could understand this poem much better if I knew some background information. I like it, though.
OP bilal ABUZENAH 15 / 81  
Nov 6, 2009   #7
You can click on user name to see my other papers...

I think you can figure it out from the text. specially the end of it.

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