a very good morning to one and all
My name is sweety khan.Born on 3rd of july ...I am a very calm and composed person.this will be my 17th year on this planet.
my family consists of four people-my mom who is a housewife,my dad who is a doctor and my very much talented brother.
My hobbies are to read books , drawing, painting,playing the piano,and a few sports.I always wanted to be very good at each of my hobby..by joining classes,tutorials,etc.,but i never joined any institute for learning any of them..what ever i learned i learned it all by myself.I reflect the same attitude in my academics as well.I never fell into the habit of attending tutions for any of the subjects right since my first year at school.But even then i show quite outstanding results.
Coming to the place where i belong...I belong to a very beautiful place,commonly known as "switzerland of Asia"-Kashmir.
Mother nature has blessed this place with many gifts in the form of beautiful snow capped mountains,natural spring with endless supply of water with renowned health benefits,a number of green carpeted mountain ranges and the list could go on...
Even though right now i dont stay there,I always long to do so.Infact,anyone would crave to live in such a wonderful place.
Every one has a dream.I have one too.To become a doctor.A very successful doctor with a noble cause of serving my people.And being a girl I think that it is a very respectable profession.Specifically speaking,I want to be a gynocologist.
Atlast I am who I am.I am being my true self with the values,dreams and goals that I have.So this is me standing infront of all of you.
Thank you for paying attention.
Hello Sabah Bashir ,
I like the way you introduce yourself , very clean , specific , descriptive and direct to the point. But I had just notice the way you used your punctuation marks , some of them were misplaced and some were missing in some sentence and also the way you capitilize letter or words , proper nouns should be capitilize but all in all it was good ! keep it up !
Capitalize your name and the name of the month:
My name is Sweety Khan. I was born on the third of July. I am a very calm and composed person. This will be my 17th year on this planet.
Capitalize the first word of every sentence:
My family consists of four people -- my mom who is a housewife, my dad who is a doctor, and my very much talented brother.
Keep using ing for every word on the list:
My hobbies are reading books, drawing, painting, playing the piano, and playing a few sports.
I always wanted to be very good at each of my hobbies by joining classes,tutorials,etc., but I never joined any institute for learning any of them..whatever I learned, I learned it all by myself.
In fact = 2 words
In fact, anyone would...
And do not use crave here. "Crave" is a word people use to describe a feeling of wanting something, like chocolate. But you do not usually crave to do something. Do this:
In fact, anyone would desire to live in such a wonderful place.
To become a doctor.A very successful doctor with a noble cause of serving my people.And being a girl I think that it is a very respectable profession.Specifically speaking, This part is not necessary. Just do this:
I want to be a gynecologist , because __________________- (give the reason).
:-)
Hey thank you so much...was really happy to see your feedback.I will definately work on your suggestions!!! :)
