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The Abstract of the research of the route direction

washiguanyu 1 / -  
Apr 23, 2019   #1
Please help me with the verbs and the sentence patterns. I am not so sure if these words were meaningful to any reader. If there is any vague points or words which were misused, help me to correct them. Thank you so much!!!

the spatial cognition of route direction

Route directions include a sequence of instructions indicating the way to find the destination. Route directions show what perspective the speaker/direction giver takes. And the speaker/direction giver refers to some landmarks to help with the direction seeking. The study reported here intended to identify the spatial cognition of the route direction in Mandarin. In the study, two groups of participants learned routes by maps or videos, respectively. Then, they generated route directions to help people find their way. Results revealed that both groups of participants use the route perspective while generating route directions. However, the landmarks which the map group more frequently referred to were around the critical points (the starting point, the terminal point, and the reorientation points). Most of landmarks that the video group mentioned were at the starting point and the terminal point. Others were related to the specific regions of the routes. Therefore, the sentence forms of referring to the landmark were found more in the route direction generated by the video group. The study concludes that the perspective taking, the landmark reference and the language form show the different aspects of the spatial cognition of route direction.

Maria [Contributor] - / 1,054 374  
Apr 23, 2019   #2
I would suggest that you try to use formal language to help your essay become more structured. When you're making academic essays, you should make sure that you follow through with the conventions of writing. You should also try to be more concise with your language. What this means is trying to evade sentences that are too vague or incomprehensible. When you find yourself rereading the essay and finding some portions quite baffling, then it would only be right to have at least restructure the essay to make it easier on the readers.

Let's try to break down some portions of your essay.

The second sentence has two primary flaws: unclear premise for what it wants to portray and confusing usage of terms. What are you trying to say in this sentence? That route directions are taken from the perspective of the speaker? If you try to be more direct with your language, you can fix these issues.

If I were you, therefore, I would phrase it this way:
Route directions are taken from the perspective that a speaker has.

Notice how saying this is more clear rather than saying that a speaker takes from this direction as it is unclear what is to be taken. This is a simple sentence construction issue; it is fixable at the very least. Try to stick to using speaker instead of direction giver because the latter is off-putting when you're speaking of academic language.

The same errors were committed in the third sentence as well. Remember that you should try to be more concise with your language.

Try to be more consistent as well with your verb usage. When you're retelling a story, then you better use past tense when it comes to articulating.

Moreover, try to use more transitions. For instance, when speaking of your third to fourth last sentences, you can utilize a semi-colon instead of a comma to have more flow with your content. Doing this will make it seem that these two sentences are interconnected.

If you have any questions, don't hesitate. Best of luck.

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