Q: Each of you are enrolled in college to "better yourself," to advance in society. How would each of these cultures view such an ambition? If a culture supports such an ambition, what would it require? If it does not support such an ambition, what motivation does it offer to the ordinary individual? Our modern society is not universally and everywhere supportive of such an ambition: identify modern societal structures who rely on modern forms of each of these ancient idea-sets.
NOTE: Expressing your own opinion was encouraged. I also just want some feedback so I can improve for the next midterm.
The Babylonians
The Babylonians would view the ambition of "bettering yourself" as a selfish endeavor if it does not include increasing your productivity with crops or livestock for the good of the community. The Babylonians were against competition within the community because it generally wasn't for the greater good of the people and were anti-individualist because the individual is unpredictable.
The motivation the Babylonians would have offered to the ordinary individual would have been to work hard in the fields, with their carpentry and other useful trades which would benefit the entire community. This is like bettering yourself but for the common good and it may not be something you would enjoy doing.
A modern societal structure which relies on a modern form of this ancient idea-set would be Japan's societal structure. They encourage bettering yourself to a certain degree but they kind of choose what activity you better yourself in. This reveals itself in the various trade schools Japan have for people who were not too successful in school early on. Japan as a whole generally frowns upon unproductive ventures if it is not coupled with a productive venture.
The Egyptians
The Egyptians would view the ambition of "bettering yourself" a bit more openly than the Babylonians would. Granted, the Egyptians would still prefer you did something productive for the entire community more than half of the time but the Babylonians wanted you to do something communally productive all of the time.
To go about bettering yourself in ancient Egypt and still have the approval of the community you would have to better yourself in something which would be a gateway to doing something obviously beneficial for the community. They would perhaps appreciate a person who spends a portion of the time dealing with theory but then from said theory would be able to help the community. This would be like an engineer, scientist or mathematician.
A modern societal structure which relies on a modern version of this ancient idea-set would be Germany's societal structure. They give you plenty of opportunity to better yourself in theoretical pursuits you may enjoy whilst you are young but if you do not meet a certain standard in school you either learn a trade or hang out by the Imbiss smoking cigarettes you bought cheap off American soldiers with the German government's money. Germany would prefer if you did something productive but isn't going to force the issue too much after you are of age.
The Ancient Greeks and the People of Abraham
The ancient Greeks and the early Jews would have seen the ambition of "bettering yourself" as a worthy endeavor. It is believed philosophy and school had its roots in ancient Greek society. Tradition has it that the phrase "Let no one ignorant of geometry enter." was engraved at the door to Plato's Academy in Athens. This was because it was believed geometry (or math in general) opened a door to logic and with that logic you could engage in any academic venture. The Jews follow a similar logic in regards to bettering themselves but with more religion involved. The Jews were also known for choosing to better themselves in useful trades as to be unselfish, god-fearing people.
To better yourself in the ancient Greek society you would have to better yourself in a trade, become a professional soldier, or learn math so you hang with the other philosophical elites of the time. To better yourself in the early Jewish society you would first have to finish your learning of the Torah and then choose a pursuit to better yourself in, whether it is academic or common trade.
A modern societal structure which relies on a version of this ancient idea-set would be the United States. After the compulsory twelve years of school which seem to eat slowly away at your life you have a choice to make. You either continue with more specialized schooling which you hopefully, pick a trade and learn it, or live in your parents' basement for the rest of your life. The choices are very open and you don't necessarily have to be productive (last time I checked, designing video games is not a must).
what i really liked about this is the way it flows...it doesnt sound choppy which is really good because if i read this and it wasn't well written i wouldn't fully follow or understand some of it. i don't have any negatives, this is well written and very intelligent...love the ending:) haha no weaknesses in your essay but strength is the way you tie things together, that is done well.
ps-i hope you can make time to read my personal statement uc admission thread...i need it to sound good enough for a UC school so it would be very helpful!
thank you!
No problem. Thanks for your feedback. :) Heading that way right now.
After the compulsory twelve years of school which seem to eat slowly away at your life
That's funny...
Well, this is very well written, and you seem to be a methodical thinker, keeping each part of this structured in a way the reader can easily follow. The thing that seems to be missing is citations. Did you get this info from a text book? It would be good to quote a passage or two and also cite the name of the author. This might not be required in your class, but it would make the essay more impressive if you mentioned the source of info every time you state a fact to support what you are saying.
Citations weren't required. All the info is from several different books and poems we've been reading in class for the assorted eras discussed. I've considered just adding citations next time anyway.
Well, it is looking great. And yeah, try adding citations. It's easy. I mean, there is no need to do it with this one (though I think adding citations will guarantee an A), but with other essays and even anything you write, really, it is great to just put a name in parentheses to tell where the info comes from (Hacker). And it is also easy to, "give a page number in parentheses if you directly quote a source, and make a list of all sources you cited at the end of the paper" (Jones 14).
Works Cited
Hacker, Diana.The Writer's Handbook. 6th ed. New York: Bedford St. Martin, 2002.
Jones, Bob. A Book that Does Not Really Exist. New York: Kevin's Imagination Publishing, 2010.
