Hi I need feedback on this essay. Any help is greatly appreciated, Thanks!
Every person, family, business, or country has all had defining moments and achievements that make them what they are today. A "defining moment" is something that shapes a nation and distinguishes it from others. Over the years Canada has had many monumental moments, but pride and freedom are repetitive. Although, there have been many moments, three have stood out, they are the great Canadian flag debate, the Medical care act, and Terry Fox's marathon of hope. These moments are "defining" and they were very influential in shaping Canada into the patriotic, opportunistic, independent nation it is today.
One of the most important moments in Canadian history was the great Canadian flag debate. This debate was very important because up until 1964, the Canadian flag was pretty much British. Prime Minister Pearson wanted a new flag to represent Canada's national identity and one that was distinctly Canadian. This debate stirred up many nationalistic feelings across the country. Some felt the change was unnecessary because the Red Ensign had stood since 1957 and it was not right to change the flag that many Canadian soldiers had died for. On the other hand, most Canadians felt that the change was required in order to truly make Canada an independent nation and get rid of its British ties. Pearson believed "a flag designed around the Maple leaf will symbolize and be a true reflection of the new Canada". In the end a Canadian flag was introduced that defines who we are as Canadians and it gave us a national identity. Because it created patriotic feelings and gave us a sense of independence, the great Canadian debate is remembered as one of the most "defining" moments in Canadian history.
Another important moment is the Medical Care Act of 1966 which changed Canada forever. This act of free health care was very important because it provided people with low incomes an opportunity to receive good healthcare. The act provided every single Canadian with public coverage of hospitals and doctors. This idea of free healthcare was first introduced in Saskatchewan by Premier Tommy Douglas (The Greatest Canadian) in 1962. Tommy Douglas believed "people should be able to get healthcare just as they are able to get educational services as an inalienable right". Some Canadians felt that the increase in tax was unfair, while some doctors also felt it was unfair to collect all fees from the government, but most Canadians felt it was right because it created equality amongst the citizens. This act is considered one of the most influential events because it created equality, opportunities and it distinguished Canada from other nations.
Terry Fox's marathon of hope has changed Canada and the world for the better. It is remembered as one of the most monumental Canadian moments because it created awareness for cancer and brought an entire nation together. The Marathon of Hope was a marathon ran by Canadian humanitarian Terry Fox to raise money and awareness for cancer research. Terry wished "people would realize that anything's possible if you try. Dreams are made if you try". Before Terry's Marathon of hope in 1980, there was little funding or awareness for cancer research. His marathon raised $1.7 million for cancer research and he created a united feeling amongst Canadians. When Terry Fox died in 1981, the whole nation united to mourn his death and remember his dreams. To commemorate Terry there are annual Terry Fox runs held around the world during the month of September. The Marathon of hope is one of the most important moments ever witnessed because it brought awareness to cancer research and created patriotic feelings among Canadians. Terry's contributions to Canadian history will never be forgotten.
Canada is a nation best described as a land of opportunity, patriotism, and independence.
These are moments that define us as Canadians and distinguish us from other nations. The great Canadian flag debate displayed patriotism and Independence and it also created a sense of freedom amongst the people. The Medical Care Act proves that Canada is a land of opportunity and distinct from the rest. The Marathon of hope brought the whole nation together, made everyone feel proud to be a Canadian and also raised awareness for cancer. These are the moments that make us feel proud to be Canadian and like John Diefenbaker said "We shall be Canadians first, foremost, and always, and our policies will be decided in Canada and not dictated by any other country."
Don't bump threads. You obviously write well, and that means you are able to help some other people in addition to requesting help. Go help others in the "unanswered' category, and ask them to look at your essay, too.
Medical care act,--probably should be capitalized?
... and Terry Fox's marathon of hope.---I don't know what this is, but it probably should be capitalized, too...
The word opportunistic is probably not the best choice. People use that to refer to sneaky manipulators.
The Marathon of Hope was a marathon ran coordinated by Canadian ...
I'll add some commas here:
These are the moments that make us feel proud to be Canadian, and like John Diefenbaker said, "We shall be Canadians first, foremost, and always, and our policies will be decided in Canada and not dictated by any other country."
:-)
