This is my final research project for English 102, please review it and let me know if you think I should make any corrections. Thanks.
America's future: fighting against childhood obesity
Childhood obesity has tripled in the past (three) decades in the United States and it is becoming a growing epidemic, with alarming numbers given by the ( spell it out)CDC, 12.5 million of children and teens in the United States are consider obese which means that 17 percent of children in this country are overweight. The effects of obesity in children are immediate health problems as well as long-term health problems. This disease can be preventable as long as we are willing to compromise and make lifestyle changes for the benefit of our children. Families and communities must unite to fight and prevent this epidemic from growing and (permanently affecting)affecting permanently our children which are the future of our country.
Obesity is defined as having excess body fat and it is often a result of (a)calorie imbalance. (no buts)But obesity can be caused by other factors such as (-s)genetics disorders (as well as)and/or family history. There are certain genetic diseases that may increase a person's body weight. These genetic disorders can create a hormonal imbalance and therefore increase the body fat. Genetic disorders that (s)increase obesity in children (include)are: Down syndrome, Prader-Willis syndrome, Cushing's syndrome, Alstrom syndrome, primary or secondary hypothyroidism, (in addition to)and primary hyperinsulinism as explained by Splete. These disorders are responsible for approximately 5% of the obesity in children. Another cause of obesity in children can be caused by certain medications such as steroids (causing)which causes an imbalance (of)on the hormones and therefore on the children's metabolism. Some studies suggest that obesity can be (innate)inherited as well. (According to Splete) In her text Splete explains: "If both parents are obese, two-thirds of the children are likely to be obese. If one parent is obese, 50% of the children are likely to be obese, and if neither parent is obese, approximately 10% of the children are likely to be obese." (The statistics regarding obesity awareness in famalies is dramatic)With these statistics awareness about obesity in our family is dramatic, only 5% of obese in children(is linked to the cause of) is caused by a genetic disorder which means that we as parents (we) are responsible for 95% of obesity in our children. Changing our lifestyle will benefit our children in the future.
Obesity is one of the easiest conditions to recognize but it is one of the most difficult conditions to treat. It has immediate health effects in children but if it is not treated the health effects can be long-term. Some of the immediate health effects of obesity in children (include) are: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, prediabetes, which eventually can develop (into)in diabetes, bone and joint problems, difficulty breathing, and sleep apnea. These conditions can be resolved with weight loss, if obesity is not resolved then long-term health effects (can not)can (be) develop (into adaulthood) as children become adults. The long-term or chronic medical issues (encompass)are: polycystic ovary syndrome, gastro-esophageal reflux, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, stroke, osteoarthritis, (and more importanly sevreral)and several types of cancer (including) such as breast, colon, ovarian, thyroid, and prostate cancer. Other problems can be multiple myeloma and Hodgkin's lymphoma. These chronic problems are a consequence of obesity and can be preventable with weight management and a healthy calorie intake.
Obesity in children not only affects their bodies but their mind as well. Obese children are at higher risk to develop psychological problems as (described by ther)the American Academy of Children & Adolescent Psychiatry describes. Obese children tend to have much lower self-esteem, depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, (and) poor body image. Obese children are also at higher risk to be teased and bully by other children (creating) with creates more emotional damage.
Now that we learned what can happen to our children's health if obesity is not preventable we must (explore) see what we are doing wrong at home. Nutrition has (had)a large influence in obesity, and since obesity is caused by consuming a higher amount of calories than the ones that are burned(,) we must learne(d) what we are doing wrong at home. Bad eating habits can develop as early as 12 months (old)old of age. According to (spell it out) FITS young children do not consume enough vegetable or whole grains and they consume for too many calories from solid fats and added sugars. Snacks with low nutritional value and high in saturated fats and sugar are the most popular among children. Cookies, candy, crackers, sugar-sweetened beverages are ( mis-used and frequently)usually feed to children ( as a meal). (parnets are res..)Since us as parents are responsible for the health of our children (and) we must establish good eating habits early in ( in their development) our children. Snacks must be considered mini-meals and parents should offer healthier foods such as fruits, vegetables, low fat yogurt and dairy and whole grain foods (more often).
The nutritional content of food is not (solely)alone responsible (for) of the high calories consume by our children. How much and where we eat is also a factor in obesity. Take-out and meals eaten away from home have a greater portion size and therefore more calories are consumed. Therefore having more family meals and controlling the portions eaten will help fight obesity in our children. Other helpful suggestion that we can incorporate at home are serving meals at the dinner table without distractions, use small plates and utensils, and eat only when seated at the table and not in front of the TV.
Because children are not burning the calories they are consuming the body fat increases and consequently their weight is affected. Lack of physical activity has contributed to the obesity ( change it up, pandemic) epidemic. Exercise in not only well to balance our calories intake but it also strengthen and increases our done density, and blood pressure is ( easy to contol) better controlled. (In addition) Also children who are(ly) physical active are more likely to remain active into adolescence and adulthood preventing many of the health issues mentioned before. Exercise has many other positive affects in our children's life such as improvement in classroom performance, and mental health. School-aged children should have 60 minutes of or physical activity daily, (According to Beers)as Beers suggests this should be a developmental appropriate, enjoyable, and involves a variety of activities. Beers further explains how she developed a number of tips to help promote increased physical activity.(Beers) She suggests making physical activity fun, "Think about things that your child likes to do, whether it is dance, play basketball, or run around the park, incorporate them into your daily routines." (Beers)She also suggests making physical activity simple so the family and the child don't get frustrated with complicated exercise plans. (As Parents we)We as parents must be good role models and must engage in the physical activities with our children to ensure a better health and life style.
(no as) As physical activities have decreased the amount of time our children are spending in front of the TV, computer, (on the other hand) and handheld games (are)is increasing. One study showed that children are spending an average of 3 hours per day in front of the TV, playing video games and using the computer. This sedentary behavior increases the calorie intake, when children are in front of a screen they are more likely to snack, which in most cases it is a high calories snack. Eating in front of the TV also decreases the children's metabolic rate and therefore are more likely to become obese. In order t(for)o us to prevent obesity in our children we must control the amount of time they spend in front of the screen and make sure they stay active. A helpful suggestion made by Bellows and Roach is to keep televisions and video games out of the children's bedroom to help them limit the amount of screen time.
Environmental factor in our communities can affect the health of our children as well. These factors (INCLUDE) are home, childcare settings, school, and the community. Bellows and Roach explain "The school and community settings are other environments where children learn about eating and physical activity habits." It is important for children to have access to healthy foods options in schools as well as physical activity program to ensure good habits. Other environmental factor (to consider)are making sure that communities have access to well-lit sidewalks, bike paths, and parks, all of this can help to improve the health of the community and the well being of their children.
Not only communities are interested in the well being of our children but state officials are also interested in implementing anti-obesity program. For example the Maine Youth Overweight Collaborative started a simple message of (*five-two-one-zero)"5-2-1-0." These numbers represent (five)5 or more fruits and vegetables per day, (two)2 hour of less of daily screen time, (one)1 or more hour of physical activity and(zero) 0 sugary drinks couple with more water and low-fat milk consumption. Another initiative to fight against childhood obesity (is)it's (the)first lady Michelle Obama's campaign "Let's Move(/)!"(.) This campaign promotes healthy eating, nutritional information, and also shows the new (United States)U.S. Department of Agriculture's new food icon, MyPlate, which serves as a quick visual remainder to everyone how we should be serving our selves. MyPlate remind us to make half of our plate fruits and vegetables, the other half should be a well-balanced choice with whole grains, lean proteins, and low fat daily. First lady Michelle Obama also made a colabration between Let's Move(!) and Wal-Mart to improve nutrition across the nation. As Currie explains "The Company's Nutrition Charter aims to lower the fat, sugar and sodium content of store-brand foods and make produce more affordable. One goal is to encourage other stores nationwide to follow suit."The government, (as chosen by its people)as a leader, is making (further)also attempt to fight and prevent childhood obesity as well, by joining their efforts we should be able to overcome and win this battle.
What we must keep in mind is that today's actions towards our children will affect their future. We must unite to ensure a healthy and prosperous future for the (safe keeping)well being of our children. What we teach and show our children today will make them better men and women in the future. Teaching them good eating habits, and showing them to take care of their bodies will give them the tools they need to prevent and fight obesity, but we must do it together as families, communities and nation.
Nice job with your paper- it is very interesting and you have many good points to support your argument. Here are a few things you may want to change:
Childhood obesity has tripled in the past 3 decades in the United States and it is becoming a growing epidemic, with alarming numbers given by the CDC, 12.5 million of children and teens in the United States are consider obese which means that 17 percent of children in this country are overweight.
This sentence is really long, split it up into two short, simpler sentences.
....and it is becoming a growing epidemic, I think you could omit "becoming" or "growing" because these two word together are redundant.
The effects of obesity in children are immediate health problems as well as long-term health problems.
You could say: "Obesity has negative effects on children, which raises immediate concern, because long-term health problems are inevitable.
Another cause ofO besity in children can be caused by certain medications, such as steroids, which cause a n imbalance on the hormoneshormone imbalance and therefore on the children'san inefficient metabolism.
It has immediate health effects in children but if it is not treated the health effects can be long-term. Re-word this sentence... also at this point in the essay, you have said the phrase "health effects" a lot, so you may want to find some synonyms for this.
You have a well-written research paper, I hope these suggestions help. Good luck in school!