Please comment/correct the below Proposal Essay
Driving alternatives in Hampton Roads
As with any larger city or area grows, the Hampton Roads Area is right up there with them. As this area hosts the largest naval base and supports many other services, the population is influenced by many to include the government. With the large amounts of people in this area, traffic is always an issue. As a result, altering a few things here and there can be a life-changing experience for all.
Whether you are driving on Interstate - 64, 264 or 564, traffic is always bumper to bumper in the non-car pool lanes and with the traffic at a standstill, accidents are always occurring. Due to this, incentives are in place to help unclog the roadways. Driving two or more to a vehicle, riding a motorcycle, driving an alternative fuel vehicle or taking public transportation are ways that the surrounding cities have decided that these individuals may ride in high occupancy vehicle lanes. Since these programs did not give it the slam-dunk, the Hampton Roads Transit started offering other incentives to unclog the roadways. Government employees can ride the public transportation to and from work free of charge, a car lease program and a rewards system for car-pooling. Even though all of these programs are in place, they are not being used to their full potential. Understandably, some may not be able to participate in these programs, but the vast majority only needs their car a small percentage of the time. The real question is what is the problem? Is it that people think they are too good to take alternatives or is it that most are just not informed? No matter the question, unclogging the roadways is the true end goal.
There are many incentives out there to alleviate the problems. Giving the entire picture to everyone may change the publics view. One way to do this would be to publicize the programs allowing them to grow in strength and in mass and eventually help unclog the roadways. The following are some of the details about each of the public transportation programs offered since they differ for everyone's situation. The rewards program, or NURIDE, is a program that you can earn points whether you ride or drive. "NuRide makes earning points so easy you can qualify for a reward-like gift cards for Old Navy, T.G.I. Friday's and XM Satellite Radio."(HRT, "NuRide") To enroll, all a person has to do is sign up on-line at nuride.com. Here individuals can arrange, organize, setup or cancel all of their carpools. The use of the Hampton Roads Transit is available to all. Although it is cheaper than driving a car, it still does cost money. Additionally, students and disabled senior citizens receive discounts. Using this alternative, you will have set times every day in the morning and in the evening in addition to riding in the car pool lanes. If you are a government employee, you may apply for the Transportation Incentive Program, which will pay one hundred percent of your travel to and from work via the Hampton Roads Transit System. "Worried that you might get stranded in an emergency if you join a carpool or vanpool? The Guaranteed Ride Program offers emergency transportation assistance to commuters who rideshare to work. Once you're registered, if you ever have to unexpectedly leave work early or stay at work late, you can get a ride back to your point of origin for just $3.00, guaranteed."(HRT, "Guaranteed Ride") There is a limit of four of these rides per month. The amount of programs available gives most commuters a way to use the system and not fight the traffic.
None of the alternatives to transportation may convince all commuters, but there are still some more options that may get their attention. Flexible hours and the possibility of working from home for at least one to two days a week are valuable options that are available to some. Additionally, giving upfront parking for carpool riders and possibly giving away one hundred free transit passes for new riders will open their horizons. Furthermore, car maintenance bills and gas fill ups will come to an immediate decline in costs. With the lower mileage driven, personal auto insurance rates will see a rate reduction. These proposals may not be usable for each individual, but will help most by unclogging the roadways and assisting the Hampton Roads Area in coming out of a traffic nightmare.
The Hampton Roads Area constantly grows and changes are a definite necessity in regards to traffic. Taking some plans that are already available and using them with a little twist will dramatically change many lives. Whether by a small or large amount, the vast majority of the population will see the benefits in the end.
What is this essay for? Are you going to send it to the local authorities? Ok... assuming you are, my suggestion is that you organize this thing! Get it into 5 para's or something. Right now it reads a tad disconnected and slightly incoherent. First, introduce your topic. Then state the problem, and next what's being done right now to fix it. Then explain why it's not working, and to conclude, explain what needs to be changed so that it will work. I'd say you should probably separate each of these things into a para. And instead of bringing up Hampton Rds as your topic, start out by defining your true topic: *traffic problems* in Hampton Rds.
As with any large city area that undergoes a process of growth, the Hampton Roads Area is (say something about what is happening rather than saying that it is "right up there with them"). As This area hosts the largest naval base and supports many other services; the population is influenced by many to include the government.
The Hampton Roads Area constantly grows and changes, so growth is also necessary in the system for managing traffic.
I like this sentence a lot!------->Taking some plans that are already available and using them with a little twist will dramatically change many lives.
SairaTasartir, it is already in the form of 5 paragraphs, but I agree that this could stand to be better organized. It is hard to see where each paragraph break is, only because of the way they appear here in the posts...
About the organization, it REALLY helps a lot to state the main idea of each paragraph in the topic sentence (first sentence of the paragraph)!
