Hi, Im doing a research paper on this topic. The question is:
How far has China's human rights record impeded the Sino-American economic relationship since 1989?
Can u help me with the structure of my paper? When I went for consultation with my teacher, she said that while it has relevant ideas, the organization is messy and "all over the places", and I have to constantly make the link between the human rights issue and the economic relationship. I would really appreciate it if you can comment on the structure of my essay. I have finished this paper according to this structure, and I would be really grateful if you can critique the full paper also (:
The structure I have planned for my essay is like this:
Introduction:
-China and America's divergent views have often led to political tensions, which can spill over into their vital economic flows.
-However, upon further examination, the human rights issue has not resulted in any extreme economic measures from both China and America. America and Chinese foreign policies ensure that conflicts over the human rights issue-most possibly irresolvable due to fundamental differences-are confined to the socio-political arena.
-Thesis Statement: Human rights have become the voice of diplomacy - justifying action and inaction- but descend to little more than rhetoric when they hinder the accomplishment of strategic goals
Body
-America's absolute internationalization of human rights clashes with China's principle of non-interference->political tensions, and occasionally, economic tensions. America put human rights at the central of their foreign policy, and is prone to using economic sanctions to punish countries that do not comply to its human rights standards. Cite the example of the Tiananmen Square Incident, when US suspended economic dialogues with China, and their trade suffered.
-However, trade and FDIs continued to grow in the 1990s, as many in American administration maintained that economic liberalization would lead to political liberalization (this is their justification for continuing to do business with China). While the American government occasionally confronts the Chinese government about its human rights record by warning about possible economic sanctions, these actions are seen as "feigning public outrage to satisfy domestic audiences" rather than seriously aiming to hurt China's economy.
-However, contrary to belief, china's human rights record worsened despite economic liberalization. However, the American government showed no sign of stopping conducting business with China->human rights does not factor in their China economic policy. Their continuing growth in economic cooperation can be attributed to 2 factors: geopolitical interests and economic interests.
-Geopolitical interests: China's business with repressive regimes, while undermining US human rights initiatives, also gives them leverage to deal with these regimes, and so US government has to cooperate with China and become mindful of actions that can irritate Beijing, i.e. the human rights issue. China, recognizing the importance of further engagement with US on its path to become a global power, played its parts->tensions diffuse, and their economic cooperation was affected.
-Economic interests:
+Due to their economic interdependence, they have to keep good relations. America tries not to provoke China, while China cooperates by entering human rights dialogues with America. However, the recent economic crisis and the huge trade imbalance give China an upper hand, and China has used it to apply political pressures on US to ignore the human rights issue.
+Even tho doing business with China gives American companies bad press, American companies are attracted to China's big market and cheap labor so they are not likely to pull out.
Thank you so much :D
Hi there,
I like your thesis and I think it's coherent for most part. I think it gets messy when you get to your last 2 points
"+Due to their economic interdependence, they have to keep good relations. America tries not to provoke China, while China cooperates by entering human rights dialogues with America. However, the recent economic crisis and the huge trade imbalance give China an upper hand, and China has used it to apply political pressures on US to ignore the human rights issue.
+Even tho doing business with China gives American companies bad press, American companies are attracted to China's big market and cheap labor so they are not likely to pull out."
it seems to me that you can list more specific examples to clarify your arguments.
also I think it might be helpful to site China's economic growth is feeding to human right violation in other countries. I believe China (and in fact US) has a role in the Sudan conflict, which is mostly an oil conflict.
I also somewhat confused by your wording of "US standard of human right" => how does it differ from the UN standard?
I hope this was helpful...
American and Chinese foreign policies ensure that conflicts over the
messy and "all over the place
Well, the thesis statement is a little confusing. Try revising and using the phrase "the concept is reduced to superficial rhetoric when..."
Now, here is your solution: Go to the first sentence of each body paragraph and revise it OR precede it with another sentence so that each paragraph begins with a sentence that supports the thesis. So... let each paragraph have a topic sentence that conveys a main idea that supports the main idea of the whole essay.
You have the necessary material... now fix according to the teacher's feedback by adding TOPIC SENTENCES.
:-)
@Shun-Wen: Thank you, I really appreciate it! It is really helpful! I gave my friends my paper 3 days ago to proofread and he said the same things about the last two points, plus about some other parts I didnt write here.
So I should mention the Sudan conflict under the geopolitical interest point? (: I also mentioned the Iran and North Korea issue, is it sufficient?
@Kevin: That was spot on, my teacher also asked me to craft more effective topic sentences. Im not really good at this, can you give me an example? Like how you would write the topic sentence for the first point of the body? I really appreciate your help (:
You already have a good topic sentence:
America's absolute internationalization of human rights clashes with China's principle of non-interference. This creates political tensions, and occasionally, economic tensions. America put human...
Yet, i want to see a topic sentence that relates to the thesis. You do not have to change the topic sentence. You can also change the thesis so that it is consistent with the topic sentences and paragraphs.
In this case, though, let's change the topic sentence to reflect the main idea of the thesis.
America's absolute internationalization of human rights clashes with China's principle of non-interference, and it can be argued that America used rhetoric about human rights in order to justify pursuit of ulterior motives.
This topic sentence above supports your thesis. Now all you have to do is add a sentence to the end of the body paragraph to show how America's sanctions were actually examples of human rights rhetoric being used to advance strategic goals.
** If you decide that sanctions after Tienanmen Square is not a good example of human rights rhetoric being misused, then this example is not good for supporting your argument.
Always test topic sentences this way:
Look at the thesis sentence and ask yourself if the topic sentence for any given body paragraph would make sense if it came directly after the thesis sentence.
:-)
