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The importance of gun control. Answer these three questions (educational studies)

Jibarra 1 / -  
Dec 22, 2019   #1
Please answer theses three questions about my essay.

Does each paragraph develop one main idea? Describe the main idea of each paragraph (five words or less for each). Does each topic sentence tie back to the thesis?

Does the writer offer evidence for the points he or she makes in each paragraph? If so, is the evidence convincing?

Does the writer use transitions between paragraphs and ideas?

The Issue About Owning A Weapon

In a world full of chaos the average American has a need to carry a weapon to defend themselves. However, what happens when those weapons are being used to harm others as a hateful crime. There is controversy about owning weapons in the United States due to an increase of mass shootings. In the year of 2019 alone, there has been series of mass shootings in El Paso, Texas that gunman killed 22 people with many wounded. There was another mass shooting the same day in Daytona, Ohio that killed 9 people (Red Flag Laws Par 1). Both of the shooters were dealing with mental disturbances and anger. These shooter went on a rampage due to angers towards a different race. They were known to be 'white race' supports, going after people due to racism. That leaves up with an important question what are the pros and cons for guns and should their be more control from the government?

In the United States, citizens has held that the Second Amendment allows the right to bare arms (Red Flag Laws Par 3). There are strict laws that citizens must have a background check being release a weapon. However, they are not checking for any mental disabilities that indicates certain citizens to own a weapon that may want to purposely harm the public. There is still plenty of discussion that the government should weigh in about the topic to provide more gun control . Gun right supporters are on the contrary, they believe they have the right to defend themselves in spite of the increase in mass shootings. What are the statistics in mass shootings vs the amount of gun owners having a related issue? Should the government have more regulations to rule out the chance of owning a weapon in the United States?

This leads to series of question we've all internally continue to struggle. Being a Mexican American this topic hits home, due to the amount of discrimination towards hispanics. However, my perspective about the topic is that we should be allowed to own weapons for self defense. Have a medical background I would have the government apply more time to search into their medical problems for red flags. This would rule out many Americans with mental issues or disabilities from owning a weapon, legally. Of course there will always be the issue of citizens selling gun illegally. On second thought, this invades the privacy for those without mental issues that have obey the laws with no problems. Have the law check your mental health is invading of your personal information.

I've turned to reliable online sources to provide updating information about the topic. This topic has been an ongoing rising issue in the United States. There has been many protestors of families trying to make a change towards gun regulations. With rising tragedies of mass shootings across the United States with no end result of how our country can minimize the killings. Or perhaps since our generation has easier access to the internet, are we just realizing how there is an increase of mass shootings. Or could this be an ongoing situation that just wasn't heard of as often because people lived more in the "dark". There is a particular article that stood out on the online article database that was found under (Current Issues, Article Database). The articles through Rio Salado online library introductory provides the a box of two opposing point of views titled 'Supporters Argue' vs 'Opponents Argue'. As you continue with the article they immediately inform the reader of why this topic is 'popular'. They provide of the recent mass shooting tragedies that spark the readers interest. Pushing the readers to ask important question, what has the government done to help prevent these mass shootings? How are these shooters getting their weapons, or could it have been prevented? Most of these sites provide information about the families that were hurt by these mass shootings. Whether it was a particular race, gender or sexual orientation that lures readers to be sympathetic. However, they are redirecting the issue on how the government or surrounding folks could have prevented the shooting in the first place. The consequences are their but yet the issue continue to rise across the United States, with a president doing nothing to help the issue. On a positive note they're researchers that are actively researching red flag laws on mass shooting and suicides.

Some of the general web sites, in particular titled ProCon.org about Gun Control provides more information by providing useful information of studies from American Journal of Public Health. This information provides helpful information for the readers that supports the issue. This make a more reliable source by providing a list of information that includes: hospitalizations for firearm-related injuries, privacy issues towards the right to own weapons. More information like back ground checks, or gun control laws that lower suicides. This article provides a broad information that supports the evidence of gun control. I'm pleased this article provides detailed information that supports my topic. There are numerous countries in the US that has restrictive gun control which this online article provides a clear photo of gun control states. The online article provides fifteen pros and cons about the topic. At the bottom of the page there are 'Did you Know?' facts that I found more details about the topic that I found extremely helpful to provide more information about weapon owners.

The third article to collect my information to support the following topic was in connection to the second article. The article called International Civilian Gun Ownership Rates, provides gun ownership across the world. It's interesting how the numbers vary from country to country. Of course the top owned gun country is the United States, followed by India. In numbers the United States has 120.5 guns for every 100 people, or about 393,347,000 firearms, which means that 45.88% (International Civilian Guns, Par 1). This is quiet an impressive collection of information. It brings so many questions to mind, if the amount of mass shootings have increased in other countries.

In general, I'll be collecting information from online articles because this is my preference to search my resources. Using the search generator on the online library is easy, efficient to use. If I had extensive time to further my research I would take my time at the library to pull even more information. However, typing in 'popular issues' plus 'related issues'. This technique has provided helpful information along with easy to find MLA format which is a key component to building an essay.

I hope to find live political interviews about gun control that would help contribute to my essay. This would provide a more personable documentation about the stories behind the families that are suffering from these tragic mass shootings. Another way to provide support to my essay is provide more information about statistics, how the numbers have changed over the years.

When I originally came across the article 'Red Flag Laws', would be a topic that to sensitive to discuss. Since there is a connection with racism, and increasing hatred crimes. This has been an ongoing issue that should be continued to be discuss because of the amount of loss families are suffering. Just to think there is a chance to help control the gun issues in the United States would be ideal to help our country. It's important to continue to listen to the pros and cons about the topic to understand how we can solve the issue together.

It is important our country has compassion for one another I believe. There has been so much hatred, just wish people would be influenced by the positive. More importantly realize when they see red flags in a person that may be harmful to others. We should be allowed to have guns to protect ourselves, which is our right not only that they are a fun personal hobby. However, it is important for America to come up with a helpful way to prevent people with mental illness or hateful souls that wish to hurt others. Red flag laws do not violate the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, advocates argue, because courts have long accepted that the government can legally use certain disqualifying factors-such as a criminal history or serious mental illness-to bar a person from owning a gun (Red Flag Laws, Par 31). We must fight for the innocent people that don't deserve to lose their lives at the hands of a mental unstable person. "Where the facts and circumstances give specific reason to believe that a person is likely to cause imminent unlawful harm to himself or others, the person may be disarmed until he can reassure the community that he does not pose a violent threat" (Red Flag Laws, Par 31). This supports the topic that there should be more laws that limit those with mental illnesses to buy a weapon. Americans have the right to own weapons if they find themselves mentally responsible to own one. Pushing more mental eval or allowing selling companies to run a background and mental health check on those wanting to own a weapon. If by any chance there is some sort of positive record, they should be denied the authority to own a weapon for the safety of others.

My goal is to have the reader understand the importance of gun control. Being knowledgable about the amount of mass shootings, suicides or wounded in the United States, I want the reader to understand then help contribute to solve the problem. I know this is wishful thinking but of course you always wish for a positive result. I hope my essay provides some persuasion to have people understand how hatred only leads to series of hurt.

Citation Page

"Red Flag Laws: Should Courts Confiscate Guns from People They Deem a Danger to Themselves or Others?" Issues & Controversies, Infobase

ProCon.org, "Gun Control."

ProCon.org, "International Civilian Gun Ownership Rates."

"The Gun Debate: Eugene Kiely, D'Angel Gore, Lori Robertson and Robert Farley

Maria - / 1,099 389  
Jan 2, 2020   #2
Hello. Thanks for approaching the forum. I hope this feedback somehow helps you.

Try to be more cautious of where you are placing your citations in. It should never be placed on the first or the last part of the paragraph.

When you're constructing sentences, the placement of the punctuation marks themselves also matter, especially since you need to have a more academically-appropriate format. Starting sentences with "or" continuously as you did in the fourth paragraph didn't improve the pattern of writing.

You also need to compress information more to create better structured paragraphs. Take a look at the last three to fifth paragraphs you had - you could have merged them together.

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