Mass deportation, a proposal that has both advocates and critics

I am a student of the English Language (I Live in South America).

Initially, I wanted to write about Reincarnation but the educator told me not to because I would NOT be able to write about that topic because of the lack of time to find information.

I still want to write about that, but for now I have to edit my essay about "MASS Deportation"

I want to do it great, because my Educator does not like my writing very much. He says some sentences are awkward.

CAN YOU HELP ME EDITING THIS ESSAY?

Thank you

DRAFT

Immigration policies intended to control illegal immigration in the United States have largely failed as is evident with the steadily increasing population of undocumented people that settle in the U.S. every year. This sensitive issue has promoted a national debate about how to solve illegal immigration. One of the solutions proposed is mass deportation, a proposal that has both advocates and critics. I consider mass deportation to be inappropriate as a solution to illegal immigration because it will be costly, will require a significant amount of time, and will destroy families.

Illegal immigration in the United States affects the economy, because undocumented immigrants do not pay income taxes but they still use basic services provided by the government. The costs involved in providing public services such as health care, housing subsidies and education to undocumented people are substantial. According to a report published by the Center of Immigration Studies (CIS), undocumented immigrants "receive more than $26.3 billion in federal services while they only pay $16 billion in federal taxes" (CIS, 2006). The difference between these government expenditures and the contributions of undocumented people creates a deficit of $10.3 billion annually, which is paid by citizens and documented residents.

A second harmful effect of illegal immigration is that undocumented immigrants take many jobs from low-skilled native workers. According to a CIS report, an estimated 1,800,000 American-born workers lose their jobs to undocumented immigrants every year. Undocumented laborers take those jobs from legal workers because many businesses prefer to hire undocumented immigrants; because of the illegal status of these workers, they are willing to work for relatively low wages. University professor of economics Robert Dunn has been informed by business acquaintances that they are not interested in hiring Americans because wages for undocumented laborers are lower. A further adverse consequence of this is that these job losses also affect taxpayers, because the cost for providing welfare and assistance to those Americans who lose their jobs to undocumented people is over $15 billion (CIS, 2006).

Many U.S. citizens, frustrated with illegal immigration and its consequences, have been calling for a solution. Consequently, several senators, politicians, economists, and ordinary Americans have proposed and backed mass deportation as one of the solutions to control the phenomenon of illegal immigration in the U.S. This option would involve the formal removal of more than 12 million undocumented immigrants living in the United States. Some of the advocates who support the idea include the former Democratic senator Barbara Jordan; President Edwin S. R. of Rubenstein Research Economic Consultants; and many legal residents. Rubenstein argues that "mass deportation would relieve U.S.-born taxpayers of a $27 billion per-year subsidy currently paid to illegal alien households" (2006). According to Barbara Jordan, in order "for the system to be credible, people actually have to be deported"

Critics of mass deportation, on the other hand, state that this alternative is not a good solution to illegal immigration. Some of the detractors include Tom Ridge, Secretary of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security; Chicago mayor Richard M. Daley; former president George W. Bush; and an immigration advocacy group known as Families for Freedom. Most of them agree that massive deportation is unrealistic and would take many decades to accomplish.

I do not believe that mass deportation is the solution to illegal immigration. One of the reasons is that this measure will take much too long to be achieved. According to a study conducted by the Center for American Progress (CAP), it will take more than 65 years to complete the mass deportation of all 12 million undocumented immigrants; this calculation does not consider new illegal immigrants entering the United States during the process. It will take many years because the current deportation capacity of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) stands at about 350,000 illegal immigrants per year.

In addition to time-related obstacles, the costs involved in such a project would be significant. According to the first cost assessment ever conducted on the subject, by the Center for American Progress (CAP) in 2005, mass deportation would entail an expenditure of $41.2 anually, over the first five years. This sum of money would be greater, by $10 billion, than the entire budget of the Department of Homeland Security. According to CAP, mass deportation will also constitute more than twice as much as the U.S. annual spending on border and transportation security.

In addition, mass deportation will destroy families with American-born children. For every two illegal immigrants deported, one child will be left behind. According to a Pew Hispanic Center report, "Nearly two-thirds (64%) of the children living in unauthorized families are U.S. citizens by birth, an estimated 3.1 million children" (2005). Mass deportation implies tearing these children away from at least one of their parents. According to Families for Freedom, an advocacy group, these children will suffer psychological and financial hardship if they decide to stay in the United States. If they agree to be deported with their parents, these American children will have to start again in a country with fewer resources, a new culture, and an uncertain future.

I consider mass deportation to be inappropriate as a solution to illegal immigration because it will be costly, will require a significant amount of time to be accomplished, and will destroy families. What, then, can be done? It is necessary to look for alternative solutions to illegal immigration. One option would be to increase penalties for the people who hire illegal immigrants. For example, sentencing the people who hire illegal immigrants to prison may help prevent others from doing so. The result would be that illegal immigrants would not go to the United States, because there would not be available jobs for them as employers would be afraid of going to jail. This measure would also mean that American businesses would be forced to hire American-born workers because the competition with illegal immigrants for low-skilled jobs would no longer exist. There should be legislation that allows illegal immigrant parents of U.S. citizens to stay and work in the United States, as long as fines and back taxes are paid and an exam of English and civics is passed. Logically, these proposals would not be a quick solution to illegal immigration; however, these will be realistic and effective solutions in the long term.

Immigration policies intended to control illegal immigration in the United States have largely failed. These policies have not succeeded because the population of illegal immigrants has steadily increased year after year.

its a bit awkward. you should maybe combine them to get your meaning across better

Immigration policies intended to control illegal immigration in the United States have largely failed and the population of illegal immigrants has steadily increased year after year.

In addition to this, many American businesses rely on inexpensive labor from illegal immigrants, who play an important role in America's economy.

I consider mass deportation to be inappropriate as a solution to illegal immigration.

Time is not the only obstacle to mass deportation; it will also be costly. --- nice transition!!

Don't capitalize "mass":

In addition, mass deportation will also destroy...

I agree that mass Deportation is not the...

:-) these are good, reasonable arguments...

Administrators, Please change the old draft for the new one.

The old one has not reliable information. It was just a first attempt.

I also improved some unclear sentences.

Erase the introductory part to the new one

Thanks

Can you help me to edit this draft which I am trying to write for an English Class?

You write so well! However, the biggest problem I notice is that your topic sentences are not clear.
Google "topic sentences" to se examples of good ones. They give the main idea of the paragraph.

In one paragraph, the topic sentence is this:
I do not believe that mass deportation is the solution to illegal immigration . --- this is the main idea of the essay not the paragraph.

And it is followed by this: Another reason mas deportation is a bad idea is t hat this measure will take much too long to be achieved.---- this is a better topic sentence for the paragraph.

For structure: When you give your 3 reasons in the intro paragraph, it makes me expect that one paragraph will be used for explaining each reason. Identify each with a topic sentence that reiterates the reason.

:-)