the peer pressure phenomenon
These days, peer pressure is a crucial issue that many people concern about. If students are influenced by peer pressure, and this leads to them suffering a lot of negative effects. In 2017, according to Poonam Dhull & Rajesh D. Beniwall wrote: "peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers who get encouraged to follow their peers by changing their habits, values, and behavior. The 'teenage' is the age when peer pressure plays a vital role" (Beniwal, 2017). In 10th grade, my old friend completely became another person when he followed a group of new friends. This is because peer pressure impacted him, and this led to his life-changing completely. Besides, he did what his friends required without refusing because he wanted to belong in his group of friends. Moreover, he followed his friends who made he skipped class many times, which could cause his academic performance to decline even he dropped out of school because he could not catch up with his classmates. Also, his friends encouraged him to smoke, so he tried it because he wanted to know what tobacco was like, and he was afraid that his friends would be disappointed by him. Consequently, Peer pressure changed him into a bad student. Furthermore, peer pressure has a great effect on students. This causes students to cope with many consequences, which are academic performance, family problems, and mental health.
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Your introduction is not effective. You need to be able to first introduce the meaning of peer pressure to the reader. Then explain why it is important to better understand how peer pressure affects students and friends in groups these days. Never use a quotation in your thesis paragraph. That is too soon. It does not allow you to properly explain the importance of this topic in your own words. Professors do not like it when students cop-out and use a citation so early in the presentation.
The fact that you use personal knowledge as a part of the thesis statement is what makes this an interesting introduction. This is what can be the main focus of the discussion. However, you need to clarify your thesis statement. What topics do you think peer pressure discussions should cover? Why those topics? In the end, what do you hope to achieve by discussing this topic, presenting relevant information, and offering an opinion ( if required) in this paper? These are the thesis outline representations that should be clearly read in your introduction paragraph.