This is a paragraph that i have written. Can you help me?
There are four main causes of unemployment in Cambodia. The first cause is poverty. Most of Cambodian people are poor, so they cannot send all their children to school. As a result, it will be difficult for them to find a good job. The next cause is education system in Cambodia. Providing not enough quality of education, some schools can produce only non-quality human resources. In addition, with the limited number of good university, there is no guarantee that all graduated students will find job which relevant to them because only people with quality are selected to work. The third is job opportunity. Since Cambodia is small and poor, it is not good enough to attract foreign investor. For this reason, only small numbers of job opportunities are available for the rest of population. Moreover, this cause might due to lack of encouragement from government in investment climate. The last cause is development of technology. For example, coming to realize the advantages of using machinery in their factory, some owners have dismissed their workers. Therefore, many people suddenly lose their job. This kind of activities helps nothing but to increase unemployment rate higher and higher. In conclusion, these are the main causes of joblessness that have been found in Cambodia.
thank you in advance!
I think you may try to use some structure other than first/next/third/last.
Perhaps you may want to try some different leading phrases such as: The most/least important is..., Besides, we need to mention about..., To be more precise..., it goes without saying that...
The next cause is the education system in Cambodia.
The above is just a grammatical correction, but to improve this phrase overall, you could say:
"Another major cause is Cambodia's broken education system."
Most of Cambodian people are...
or
Most of the Cambodian people are ...
(Above) You can choose either option, depending on which you like. :-)
The next cause is the education system in Cambodia.
Providing not enough inadequate quality of education, some schools can ...
This is how to use the English grammar rule called "number agreement"----> Therefore, many people suddenly lose their jobs . ----people and jobs are both plural nouns.
This kind of activities activity helps nothing but ... kind and activity are both singular nouns.
:-)
Thank you very much for all your correction!
