I need feed back on my essay. Any help would be nice strengths and weaknesses
The Benefits of Physical Therapy
Physical therapy can help enhance an individual's body, mobility, and health. Those that suffer from injuries from sports arthritis falls, or mental illness will benefit from physical therapy. The treatment of physical therapy is for patients who do not wish to use any other form of medication to relieve pain. Individuals who participate in physical therapy have better patient outcomes than those who do not use physical therapy interventions.
Physical therapy is one of the most beneficial medical fields that help improve injuries and make individuals resilient to future potential injuries. After damage occurs, the body has a physiological process that causes swelling, which leads to pain and muscle activation. The elderly can benefit significantly from the information and materials that a quality physical therapist offers. A physical therapist can identify the weak or injured part of the body and find treatment to relieve pain. Although there has been a recent increase in the number of physical therapists, many patients struggle to decide whether to go to a physical therapy program that they are unsure they need.
According to the 2010 National Health Interview Survey statistics, falls contributed to 13 million medically treated injuries, with 20% of those falls resulting in serious injury that addressed in emergency departments. As physical therapists, we should strive to take advantage of this prime opportunity to help our elderly patients learn when they need specialized treatment to address their needs and future goals. The elderly are not always reliable or quick enough to prevent injuries. When they seek attention, physical therapists recommend exercises to strengthen the muscles back up to get full mobility again.
Physical therapy not only offers a quicker healing process, but sometimes individuals can avoid taking addictive pain medicine if they get proper treatment with physical therapy. To reduce a person's pain by seeing a physical therapist will teach the appropriate exercises to increase mobility to the injured body or bone. The evidence shows that physical therapists help people diagnosed with cancer before and after surgery. Before surgery, they evaluate individuals for any of the problems listed above and help address them. After surgery, they can help heal the incision site, improve circulation, reduce pain, and minimize scarring.
Physical therapy also teaches children and young adults to prepare and avoid early injuries. Physical therapy can help children and young adults perform better, recover from injuries, and even prevent damage in sport and play when physical therapy is adequately applied. The development of a child's body is essential to understand in physical therapy. A physical therapist can train children and young adults to use their bodies more effectively to avoid injuries.
An excellent example of child development. "What does this mean for your child or young adult? Simply put, your child does not live in the same body at 14 that she lived in when she was 11. She may still play soccer, but her biomechanics have changed, and her balance may have shifted, putting stress on joints and muscles that are still developing and may not be ready to adapt as quickly as they are changing without guidance."
Physical therapy is a perfect time for young children to develop good habits for their bodies.
Children and young adults will learn essential techniques and exercises that will be used in their sports future and everyday life to prevent injuries. As children grow, they learn strength, a balanced range of motion, scale, and posture to understand the changes their body will go through." Evidence-based medicine is the conscientious, explicit, and judicious use of current best evidence in making decisions about the care of individual patients. Evidence-based medicine means integrating particular clinical expertise with the best available external clinical evidence from systematic research."
Physical therapy can improve a person to live a healthier lifestyle. There are many studies and research that an active lifestyle helps individuals with depression. Depression split into two categories. Primary and secondary depression. Central depression is due to chemical imbalances in the brain. It can often worsen during the winter months due to changes in body chemistry with the reduced amount of daylight referred to as Seasonal Affected Disorder. Secondary depression is a condition that can accompany a physical injury or diagnosis. It accounts for 40% of depression cases."( Reinhard,2020) Those that are depressed are in chronic pain, and physical therapists are there to engage with the patients to help alleviate their discomfort with exercise programs and activities. Physical therapy increases, making the patient feel better with a major depressive disorder.
Physical therapy can help a person all around, strengthen our bones and joints, to improving our mind to eliminate pain. In the long run, our patients could benefit significantly from the skills they could learn in an early physical therapy program. Early physical therapy education is beneficial because it helps young children be better prepared to learn about their body changing. Understanding the need to invest in physical therapy time is essential so we can maximize an individual's future with a robust and healthy body. If more people understood how beneficial physical therapy is, we would be a little happier and healthier.
1." Physical Therapy for Children and Young Adults." Move better physical therapy
2.Avin, Keith G., et al. "Management of falls in community-dwelling older adults: clinical guidance statement from the academy of geriatric physical therapy of the American Physical Therapy Association."
3.Baker, Sarah E., et al. "Systematic Clinical Reasoning in Physical Therapy (SCRIPT): tool for the purposeful practice of clinical reasoning in orthopedic manual physical therapy."
4. Brence, Joseph. "An Essay for Physical Therapists: Lets Move Forward..." Forward Thinking PT - Incorporating Critical Thinking into Physical Therapy Practice
5. "Cancer and Physical Therapy". roanoketherapyservices
6. Physical Therapy for Children and Young Adults - Move .... movebettertherapy
7. "Benefits of Exercise on Depression" | Preferred Physical .... preferredptkc
Hi! So regarding the strengths I think that you not using big words or jargon related to the physical therapy field is a bonus for readers who won't have prior knowledge about physical therapy before reading your piece. The benefits also come across very clearly, reading through the essay I could list all the benefits down.
However, I think you have repeated a lot of your points over and over again in different paragraphs. The benefit of physical therapy strengthening our bones and making us stronger and preventing injury is written in a lot. Though it may be an important benefit to highlight, I feel like you mentioned it too many times as I can spot it in every paragraph. Maybe try listing down your benefits and dedicate a paragraph to each one of them in order to not repeat your points too many times?
"According to the 2010 National .... take advantage of this prime opportunity to help our elderly patients...". - the part where you mention the overall statistic and then move onto talking specifically about elderly patients in the very next line is a bit confusing. Maybe use a statistic specifically related to the injuries of elderly people if that's the topic of your paragraph?
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,377 3370
This does not sound like a properly researched and developed paper. It appears more to be like a series of cut and paste information collated from various sources. It lacks proper paragraph developed / explanation, and often misses out on truly presenting the importance of physical therapy in relation to the topic sentence. The paragraphs also suffer from a redundancy in presentation as almost every paragraph starts with the word "physical therapy". There are also sections where the first person pronoun such as "we" are used. Since this is an academic research paper, no first person pronouns should be used as it removes the objectivity of the information being relayed to the reader.
The overall essay feels like you did not really have a true focus for the writing. What is the real topic for the research? Is it:
- An alternative medical treatment?
- A non drug related treatment?
- Focused on the care and prevention of injuries among the elderly?
- A form of care for children to help avoid future bone and muscle injuries?
Your essay must be more focused on related information. It should not be a mix and match of different research topics. The essay should reflect a relationship between any of the following:
- Physical therapy as it relates to child physical development with a focus on future prevention of injury among the elderly
- Physical therapy as an alternative form of medical treatment that can prevent potential medical drug addiction
Those are the 2 possible thesis statements that can help you clarify the objective of your essay. Targeting one of the two should also help you develop and present a better research paper.