It is no secret that America holds the "Overweight Capital of the World" title that can be contributed to a number of reasons. Throughout the years, the number of overweight, obese, and morbidly obese people within the United States has risen dramatically. This epidemic has contributed to many health problems, raised the national health care cost, and created a different definition for disability. Several causes can be identified behind the rise in obesity. Some of the issues that cause obesity are the excessive intake of fast food, bullying in childhood that results in stress and overeating, and a sedentary lifestyle. As one can see, the health of the American population is affected by the choice of food that he or she is choosing from as well as the daily activities that one participates in.
Most Americans eat fast food because they don't have time to prepare home-cooked meals for their families. According to Mandal, there has been an exponential rise in the number of obese individuals, especially in developed nations like United States and United Kingdom (Mandal, 2014). For most people, it is cheaper and faster to go to a fast food restaurant and order a meal for few dollars, rather than spending time to gather ingredients at home and cook. One can order and "super-size" the meal by just paying a dollar or two more, even though he or she could be satisfied with smaller portions. Some people cannot comprehend the concept of consuming food in moderation due to the excessive amounts of food and large portion sizes. These calories can satiate customers for the moment but are quickly used for a short burst of energy. Consumers are left hungry in a short amount of time and look forward to another quick meal. This creates a demand for fast food restaurants and does nothing to solve the problem. The major concern about fast food is the fact that everything is fried and soaked in fat. A study has shown that the United States per capital calorie intake increased by more than 300 kilocalories among the entire population form 1985 through 2002 (Mandal, 2014). This is a grim reality since restaurants are in the business of generating profits, and do not usually consider the consequences that their customers will face. Some restaurants even boast about "sugar-free", "diet", or "fat-free" meals, however, most of the population is not aware that these buzzwords do not honor their claims and simply exist to draw in customers. It seems that it is almost a paradox to lose weight in this situation and the health of customers will only worsen.Childhood obesity can be related to bullying for a number of reasons. For instance, a student can be bullied for his physical appearance or simply not getting along with a certain crowd. This is especially true in the pubescent population that thrives on approval from peers and desire to fit in with the student body. Therefore, if a student is singled out and bullied, this decreases their self-esteem and a sense of belonging. Since peer approval is very important at this time, students who are bullied can become stressed, withdrawn, and even decline academically (Takizawa, Danese, Maughan, Arseneault, 2015). Stress itself automatically causes the body to release corticosteroids that dump sugar into the blood stream for readily available energy. If it is not used, it will be stored as fat and the person can gain weight. The method that some students use to address stress is through eating because it may be the only thing they feel that they have control over. Some students can indulge in "comfort foods" that they feel quell their negative emotions. Some students also withdraw from sporting teams that may have been their only source of exercise (Takizawa et al., 2015, Oct.).
Hi Selvedina,
Your essay looks pretty good to me!
I would just suggest you to introduce a division of paragraphs, making even easier to read and understand it. And also the addition of a conclusion to wrap up the content.
In my opinion, the first sentence could be more impactful as follow:
"It is no secret that America holds the "Overweight Capital of the World" title that can be contributed to a number of reasons ."
Hope I've helped.
Dina, you need to improve upon your first paragraph for a very specific reason, even though you present information in the paragraph, you do not present a proper thesis at the end of it. As you know, the thesis of the research paper needs to be located in the first paragraph. That is normally presented in the last or last 2 sentences in the paragraph. In fact, your whole first paragraph should contain nothing but information that will help you build the foundation for your thesis and succeeding discussion.
You never present the information for discussion in the first paragraph. The only information that it should contain will be the stated prompt, line of discussion, and your personal opinion on the matter. If you had only presented this information first, then your research would have been off to a very good start. That is not to say though that the rest of the paper is bad and uninformative.
The information you use is good. It is cited properly and offers academic sources, which add credibility to the research paper. However, as Amanda pointed out, the formatting problem of your essay made it difficult to read. It brings stress to the reader's eyes and causes the person to lose interest in the essay. You need to use the space bar to separate the discussions.
It might be possible for you to get a passing grade on this paper based upon the information. The shortcomings make it difficult for you get an even better grade. If you can correct the errors we pointed out before you submit this paper, it just might qualify for a better than just passing grade.
