The following is my research paper on social media addiction. To finish my assignment, I need someone to do a peer review on my assignment. Can someone please give me suggestions on how I can improve my paper presentation.
Social Media Addiction : Skins of Social Media
Thesis: With the ever-growing technology and rapid advancements in social media, its effects on society is being a contradictory question. If looked upon deeply social media has a more negative impact on its users than compared to its positive impact.
II.Evolution of Social Media as a blessing
III.Results about surveys on social media addiction
IV.The cure for social media addiction
Social Media is a technology of websites and applications like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram which enables users to create and share content like information, personal ideas or messages among people. This platform is becoming more and more prevalent day by day. It has transformed from not being known by many to world can't run without it. It is becoming a part and parcel of everyone's life. With the evolution of social media, its effects on society have become a contradictory question. If looked upon deeply social media has a more negative impact on its users than compared to its positive impact.
According to statista, approximately 2.62 billion people are using social media globally. People have become so addicted to social media that a significant amount of social media companies have turned out to be in the list of world's most worth companies. Nowadays, a person's every action is influenced by social media, starting from waking up for the notification to falling asleep to reading articles on social media. People have been so involved in social media that even staying away from social media for just hours is creating a fear of missing out. The people addicted to social media are really protective of their privacy but they are not aware that their privacy is under concern and that no laws are protecting them for what they are posting online. Although there is no particular medically recognized disorder for social media addiction, people have been developing symptoms of known disorders like neuroticism.
Evolution of Social Media as a blessing
The evolution of social media has been a true blessing for the society. Social media has made connecting to people around the world easier regardless of our location. It provides people with updates of the latest happenings in the world. We can learn many things and acquire knowledge by sitting in our house. Adding to that, the creation of different communities in social platforms really helps in solving real-world problems. It has also created awareness about many things and innovated the way people live.
Just like how a coin has two sides, the other side of the social media evolution is that these advancements have changed the way people view society or treat relationships. People started perceiving gadgets like real places or people. Their way of handling the devices is associated with the gender of the voices being used by the voice assistants like Siri, Cortana, Alexa and etc. People might think that the advancements are helping people in exploring cultures by overcoming the obstacles of time and space but it is also causing people to be distracted and is leaving people lonely and depressed even after having an abundant number of relationships online.
Results about surveys on social media addiction
Research has shown that social media addiction and excessive use of video games is affecting people's mental health by creating psychological disorders such as extraversion, neuroticism, anxiety, depression and etc. Many surveys have been conducted to find about the above-mentioned phenomenon. The following are the results from some of the surveys:
i.There is a positive correlation between symptoms of addictive technology use and symptoms of mental disorders like attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), anxiety, and depression.
ii.It has also been found that age is inversely related to the addictive use of technologies and that gender differences are associated with what a person is addicted to, whether it's social media or video games.
iii.Extraversion, Neuroticism, Attachment anxiety and fear of missing out are known to be the predictors of social media addiction.
iv.This addiction resulted in higher narcissism and lower self-esteem.
The cure for social media addiction
Just like rehabs for alcohol and tobacco addictions, there are also rehabs for social media addiction. These centers offer recovery and rehab services to people who are getting high from excessive technology use and people facing withdrawal symptoms of addiction. People can either go to rehabs or follow some tips to cure their social media addiction. Some of the tips to fight this addiction include keeping a track of time spent online or by taking a break from social media by deactivating accounts of deleting applications from our devices.
The evolution of social media itself is not the issue but the way we are exposing ourselves and using them is the issue. We are not aware of what social media's standing will be in the future but we should develop the awareness of the necessity of the limited usage and how easily addictive it is. The approximately 2.62 billion users of social media should know that using it occasionally is not bad but excessive use is not recommended.
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Hi :) I read your research paper, and there's several suggestions I have for you:
- A more concise thesis - Usually theses are only one sentence long. Also, for example, instead of saying "...negative impact on its users..." you could say "has had more negative than positive impacts."
- Don't forget to proofread! - Fix the small grammatical/spelling errors.
- When talking about the surveys on social media addiction, I would suggest adding several sentences on where the surveys came from (or maybe footnotes, I'm not sure about what your requirements are) in order to make a stronger argument (appeal to ethos)
- Add a bit more of your own critical thinking instead of repeating what other sources have said.
Overall, this was a great research paper! Don't be discouraged by my criticism, I'm just a really picky writer! Good job :)
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,728 4511
Vijaya, there are simply too many missing aspects in this paper for it to be considered a completely developed research paper. For one thing, you do not really justify the rise of social media as an addiction in today's society. When did the addiction to social media begin? What were the causes of the addiction that look into the history of social media? What is the factual basis for your claim? Where are the sources for the measurements that you present in the essay? Upon whose authority do you make these claims?
If social media is a true addiction, then what were the early methods of curing it? Why do you think society allowed the use of social media to spiral out of control? How did this lack of social media check and balances contribute to the growing addiction of the population? How would you define social media addiction? What is the psychological profile of a social media addict? Does an addiction to taking selfies qualify as social media addiction? There are too many parameters left open to investigation and a lack of focus in the actual research. You need to narrow down your social media addiction focus. As you can see form the questions I have been asking, your research is nothing more than a draft that requires further development, brainstorming, outlining, and narrowing down to your main thesis discussion.
As for your thesis statement, it is only a general statement that does not offer any actual insight into what the target topic and conclusion of your discussion actually is. Your cure is left with little development in terms of actual application and success rate. Your conclusion sounds like you don't really know what results you hoped to garner from your research. Overall, the essay is still extremely weak at this point.