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Researching and writing effective scholarship essays (page 10)

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Immigrants in America. Questbridge Long Essay

NEW - Original prompt: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up,...

Scholarshipktran04 - Mar 22, 2021 / — -
STUNED ESSAY. MSc of International Land and Water Management at WUR

3 - Dear Holt. Thank you very much for your great feedback! I will revise my essay accordingly....

Scholarshipns_nafsi - Mar 21, 2021 / ns_nafsi - Mar 21, 2021
Gender Gaps in the Workplace (AAS Supporting Statement)

3 - @Holt Holt, thank you very much for the valuable input!...

Scholarshiprosanna89 - Mar 19, 2021 / rosanna89 - Mar 20, 2021
Short essay about Heuristics (Questbridge College Prep Scholars Program) 1st prompt

2 - If you are really confident that you wish to be a Cognitive Science student, then you should not be...

Scholarshipradioq - Mar 17, 2021 / Holt - Mar 18, 2021
Workforce Competency Development through TESOL (Australia Award Scholarship)

2 - The information you provide as an introduction is specific to only your country. You make it appear as if...

ScholarshipDA786 - Mar 17, 2021 / Holt - Mar 18, 2021
Motivation Letter for Scholarship from a final-year chemical engineering student

3 - @Holt Thank you for your feedback. Is there any feedback for the fifth paragraph and the rest of the...

Scholarshiphabibalaziz123 - Mar 17, 2021 / habibalaziz123 - Mar 17, 2021
AAS - Atmospheric Sciences - your proposed course and institution

3 - too much information for the introduction. try to focus on what course will help you and relevant to the...

ScholarshipSilvana - Mar 12, 2021 / DA786 - Mar 17, 2021
2022 Australia Awards Scholarship Essay - Applied economics

4 - Try to use simple words to save the limited characters and you can use them for another idea. Btw,...

Scholarshipjivrymuh - Feb 28, 2021 / DA786 - Mar 17, 2021
eCommerce - Goal of study and detailed study plan - you in advance wish you all the best

3 - I didn't see any content that describe your study plan. Maybe you have missed it so here's my soft...

ScholarshipPoKhuYu - Mar 15, 2021 / wyh99 - Mar 17, 2021
Japan - An event has that influenced you - STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM

3 - @xin18 In my opinion, I personally think that I would not have the interest to read it to the...

Scholarshipxin18 - Mar 16, 2021 / wyh99 - Mar 16, 2021
Personal Statement For KGSP Graduate Program 2021 - Master's Degree in Psychology

3 - @Holt Thank you very much for your constructive comments. I will try to modify those information to makes my...

Scholarshipwyh99 - Mar 15, 2021 / wyh99 - Mar 16, 2021
Essay 1 - examples of the benefits that the GOI-IES would provide me

2 - The professional aspect does not have a convincing motivation for your application. The reason for your desire to receive...

Scholarshipnatfernandesss - Mar 16, 2021 / Holt - Mar 16, 2021
Sports science - Personal statement for KGSP-G (2021)

2 - The motivational questions you are using in this essay are very shallow and basic. These do not represent a...

ScholarshipBhardwaj7714 - Mar 15, 2021 / Holt - Mar 16, 2021
2021 GKS Graduate Personal Statement: International Business Major

2 - - Talk more about your family background. Introduce your parents to the reviewer. Let him / her get...

ScholarshipJun0101 - Mar 12, 2021 / Holt - Mar 15, 2021
English Learning during Covid-19 and ESP for Young Adults - TESOL Master Degree Essay (AAS)

2 - The paragraph about the pandemic should be worked into the motivation for your desire to complete the masters program....

ScholarshipDA786 - Mar 15, 2021 / Holt - Mar 15, 2021
Doctoral Degree for AAS 2021

5 - Well thank you so much for the feedback @umbu richi. Is this Umbu that also followed Mr. Mau's class?...

Scholarshipkartini79 - Mar 6, 2021 / kartini79 - Mar 15, 2021
Examples how you will gain from your scholarship. Indonesian policy, collaboration with Australia

3 - I'll think about it again and try to be more systematic as you previously explained. Thank You Sir for...

ScholarshipUmbu Richy - Mar 9, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 15, 2021
How have you implemented a change or reform? Controversial court judgments

3 - Actually, I have experience as a volunteer to teach students about the Laws of Electronic Information and Transactions because...

ScholarshipUmbu Richy - Mar 9, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 15, 2021
Study impact on my career as a Policy Analyst and Planning Expert in government

3 - Oh, I see. I just realized that I didn't really discuss my career goal and just put it as...

ScholarshipUmbu Richy - Mar 9, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 15, 2021
GKS Scholarship- Statement of purpose (Language Study Plan) - English and Korean

3 - Thank you so much for your help, I made the study plan as an essay form just as you...

Scholarshipjh13 - Mar 13, 2021 / jh13 - Mar 14, 2021
The Global UGRAD Program is.... Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

2 - Your reference to PASTO App is not really along the lines of community leadership. It will not help you...

Scholarshipomarkamal - Mar 12, 2021 / Holt - Mar 13, 2021
My educational program of enhancing Korean and English language proficiency before coming to Korea

2 - Remove the reference to Hong Sun Soo in the essay. To make this stronger. indicate instead that you are...

Scholarshipboodoo - Mar 9, 2021 / Holt - Mar 10, 2021
Study plans to improve foreign languages (Korean, English, etc) required for taking a degree course

2 - Is this a language study plan for the U or G scholarship? You cannot just tell me it is...

ScholarshipVanessa Mendez B - Mar 9, 2021 / Holt - Mar 10, 2021
Digital pandemic - Writing an outstanding Essay for AAS

6 - I didn't see you put the course name and the institution you choose. According to your essay, I also...

ScholarshipLovelyshaa - Feb 20, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 9, 2021
Teaching English language (Australia Award Scholarship) Master Degree in TESOL

3 - Too much introduction. I will prefer to answer the question directly first and then list my reason(s) and problem(s)...

ScholarshipTin Maung Oo - Mar 1, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 9, 2021
Essay AAS for Master of Public Health degree in Australia

3 - Maybe you can answer the question directly first and then explain your reason(s). For example: I am applying...

Scholarshipsucianggraini - Mar 4, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 9, 2021
Learning another way to think about things. Language study plan essay

3 - @Holt okay thank you for your advice, I will make it shorter...

Scholarshipdorra - Mar 7, 2021 / dorra - Mar 8, 2021
I am a young leader, who is hunting for knowledge - UGRAD exchange program application

2 - The essay does not respond to the most important requirement of the essay which is a discussion of the...

ScholarshipIslambek - Mar 8, 2021 / Holt - Mar 8, 2021
COVID-19 x-ray medical images. How did you choose your proposed course and institution?

2 - Kick off the essay with the Indonesia-Australia Cooperation Covid 19 Response plan first. That way you immediately catch the...

Scholarshipoedale - Mar 8, 2021 / Holt - Mar 8, 2021
Aerospace engineer - concept, theory, or topic you have explored

2 - You failed to respond to the prompt in totality. You need to discuss your intellectual curiosity first, then why...

ScholarshipLavanyaD17 - Mar 7, 2021 / Holt - Mar 8, 2021
GKS-G Personal Statement - Creative Economy Diplomacy

3 - Oooh, yes I see your point. Thank you very much for your feedback, I will rewrite it again and...

Scholarshipayo_yuk - Mar 6, 2021 / ayo_yuk - Mar 7, 2021
Learning languages - my study plan. STATEMENT OF PURPOSE FOR KOREAN SCHOLARSHIP

3 - @lynleo Hi, yeah I think the comittee wanted to see how strong-willed we are in applying for the scholarship,...

Scholarshiplynleo - Mar 6, 2021 / karinrizky - Mar 7, 2021
Confidence and expertise - Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

2 - The problem with this presentation is still the lack of leadership skills and your direct participation, in a leadership...

Scholarshipi_m - Mar 5, 2021 / Holt - Mar 6, 2021
Being resilient - Personal Statement GKS-G MBA Aspirant

3 - @Holt Yes, I have consular confirmation of this heritage as well as birth certificates that supports this. Thank you...

ScholarshipAlejandroHz96 - Mar 4, 2021 / AlejandroHz96 - Mar 5, 2021
AAS - Accountant/Auditor - plans when you finish your studies?[500 characters]

4 - i think you should categorize your plan into shorterm and longterm, better if you add information of your continuation...

ScholarshipRebu - Feb 18, 2021 / sucianggraini - Mar 4, 2021
Australia Awards Scholarship Essay (Master of Public Policy)

3 - Thank you for your feedback and suggestionsions, I really appreciate that....

ScholarshipUmbu Richy - Mar 4, 2021 / Umbu Richy - Mar 4, 2021
Personal statement for Environmental landscape Architecture master programme

2 - The essay is based ont he previous prompt requirements for the GKS-G program. You need to write the essay...

ScholarshipEnergy - Mar 1, 2021 / Holt - Mar 2, 2021
2021 GKS SCHOLARSHIP - PERSONAL STATEMENT - INTERNATIONAL TRADE

2 - Hi Sharon. Listen, I can really see the sincerity in your application. You are doing your best to prove...

ScholarshipSharonSahian - Feb 28, 2021 / Holt - Feb 28, 2021
Personal Statement about Public Administration - Graduate program GKS

2 - The first paragraph, though imaginative in presentation, does not offer itself as a part of any appropriate response. It...

ScholarshipFiorella02 - Feb 27, 2021 / Holt - Feb 28, 2021
Global Korea Scholarship Personal Statement for Graduate Study in Electrical Engineering.

3 - @Dam2019 Hello, I would definitely just summarize with the first paragraph the most important key factors of the others!...

ScholarshipDam2019 - Feb 21, 2021 / mariana_2314 - Feb 27, 2021
GLOBAL KOREA SCHOLARSHIP_ PERSONAL STATEMENT_COMPUTER SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING

4 - @Holt @grant_Oliver I am very grateful for your help. I will rewrite based on your comments. Thank you so...

Scholarshipsunny1909 - Feb 25, 2021 / sunny1909 - Feb 27, 2021
'intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death'. Letter for MAIA scholarship

3 - "Not a bad motivational letter. You have shown a personal, academic, and professional interest in the course that you...

Scholarshipreraxi4908 - Feb 26, 2021 / reraxi4908 - Feb 26, 2021
Leadership, community service. The Global UGRAD. Why would I be a great participant in this program?

2 - Remove the reference point about how you are familiarizing yourself with American culture. That is not part of the...

Scholarshipbigdreamy - Feb 26, 2021 / Holt - Feb 26, 2021
DRL model - [KGSP] MASTER IN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - Goal of study and detailed study plan

3 - Hi Holt, Thank you for the suggestions! Since master applicants do not need to submit Research Proposal, we...

Scholarshipgrant_Oliver - Feb 17, 2021 / grant_Oliver - Feb 26, 2021
[KGSP/GKS SCHOLARSHIP] MASTER IN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE - Future plan after study

2 - That should be the focal point of this future plan after study. They are not interested in knowing...

Scholarshipgrant_Oliver - Feb 23, 2021 / Holt - Feb 26, 2021
GKS Statement of Purpose - Language Study Plan

2 - - Trying to memorize what in a month? Hangul characters and alphabet? English spelling of Hangul words? There...

ScholarshipAlsgray - Feb 25, 2021 / Holt - Feb 26, 2021
GKS/KGSP Master in Urban Environmental Planning - Statement of Purpose

2 - There is no need to list you references at any point in this presentation. While these are possibly reading...

ScholarshipTraiaU - Feb 24, 2021 / Holt - Feb 25, 2021
KGS-G STATEMENT OF PURPOSE - language in Korea

3 - @Holt, thanks for your observations...

ScholarshipWunuson - Feb 23, 2021 / Wunuson - Feb 24, 2021
GKS SCHOLARSHIP LANGUAGE STUDY PLAN BEFORE AND AFTER

3 - Hello! There are some things that you do not need to put in this part of the Statement of...

Scholarshipsruthi1998 - Feb 17, 2021 / TraiaU - Feb 24, 2021
Motivation, small & medium - sized enterprises - GKS Personal Statement Business Administration

4 - Hello, I suggest you to elaborate the more specific area that you are mastered in to show your academic...

Scholarshipqwepoi - Feb 19, 2021 / fiannyfia - Feb 24, 2021
Personal Statement for GKS's graduate studies in Communication Design University track

5 - Hi, I like your essay. However it is better for you to mention another area in arts and culture...

Scholarshipmadrisheva - Feb 7, 2021 / fiannyfia - Feb 24, 2021
Interactive teaching - GKS GRADUATE PERSONAL STATEMENT

NEW - Hello, This is my personal statement and I need some feedback :) Thank you in advance personal...

Scholarshipfiannyfia - Feb 24, 2021 / — -
My academic success - The Global UGRAD Program^ why am I a great participant?

3 - Thank you very much. I'll try to fix the last paragraph and focus more on what I get...

Scholarshipiroda_bekmur - Feb 7, 2021 / iroda_bekmur - Feb 24, 2021
SCHOLARSHIP GKS - PERSONAL STATEMENT GRADUATE DEGREE 2021 - Public Administration.

6 - @grant_Oliver Thanks for the recommendation :) I'm working on it....

ScholarshipAnyellaa - Feb 21, 2021 / Anyellaa - Feb 23, 2021
American-Hispanic learning process - Personal Statement for the Global Korea Scholarship

2 - Kindly fix the format of this presentation. It is extremely difficult to read. If you submit this essay in...

Scholarshipalexaguti - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021
The efforts you have undertaken so far to obtain information on your study options in Australia?/AAS

2 - ONE QUESTION PER THREAD. ADMIN SHALL DELETE THE OTHER QUESTIONS SHORTLY. Do not confuse the presentation with unnecessary...

Scholarshipcyber168 - Feb 23, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021
GLOBAL UGRAD - WHY WOULD I BE A GREAT PARTICIPANT IN THIS STUDENT EXCHANGE PROGRAM

2 - You do not qualify for the program based on this presentation. You have written a lengthy personal statement that...

Scholarshipshaqkandou - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021
Laboratories - ChIR Motivational Statement

2 - It would be best for me to list down the points that you actually responded to with this essay...

Scholarshipstrongwarrior - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021
Defending the global internet - GOVERNMENT OF IRELAND INTERNATIONAL EDUCATION SCHOLARSHIP

2 - Review the prompt requirement again. You have failed to properly respond to the question because you wrote a personal...

ScholarshipStonye - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021
Serving community - Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

2 - The first 3 paragraphs do not speak of your ability to be a community leader and enforce changes in...

Scholarshipahyar - Feb 22, 2021 / Holt - Feb 23, 2021

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