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|I have shown consistent performance;Cardiff International Scholarship Application Q&A
3 - Thanks for the response. I was wondering if you would want to tone down the answers a bit.? I...
Scholarshipvishnu21 - Apr 28, 2013 / vishnu21 - Apr 30, 2013
|Ausaid scholarship for Master in Professional Accounting
6 - Well... I don't have such samples. But you can certainly find similar essays if you google or even...
Scholarshipchurkut - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 26, 2013
|The dream of most students; Scholarship essay
4 - Obtaining a scholarship is a dream of many students, especially the ones who live in developing countries like...
Scholarshipmuizzkhan - Apr 22, 2013 / dumi - Apr 25, 2013
|I'm from Baluchistan; my autobiography/ SCHOLARSHIP to study in America
3 - I am Javed Ahmed Khan from Pishin, a district of Baluchistan, which is far from an economically developed...
Scholarshipjaved kakar - Apr 19, 2013 / dumi - Apr 24, 2013
|Adapting to High School, becoming well-rounded. --Lehigh Appeal.
3 - Nice approach and it's very well presented.... Why don't you name the students as X and Y instead of...
Scholarshippetemess95 - Apr 18, 2013 / dumi - Apr 24, 2013
|Scholarships for Indian High School Students
2 - .... the phrase "Native American students" is getting repeated too soon. Specific grants and scholarships are available for...
ScholarshipCalvinBrave - Apr 23, 2013 / dumi - Apr 24, 2013
|Scholarship Essay, what makes me right.
Scholarshipmanjot - Apr 20, 2013 / manjot - Apr 23, 2013
|"Why I want to be an International Affairs major" CHCI Scholarship Essay
3 - ... you need that punctuation (comma) . Recently, one Hispanic organization of which I am a member, hosted...
Scholarshiprubirodriguez - Apr 14, 2013 / dumi - Apr 18, 2013
|I have a plan to major in advertising or journalism; Scholarship/ Personal Statement
ScholarshipRAYE - Apr 16, 2013 / dumi - Apr 18, 2013
|I have financial constraints for pursuing a tertiary education; SCHOLARSHIP/ Reasons
Scholarshipchibi sakura - Apr 9, 2013 / chibi sakura - Apr 18, 2013
|More than one career choice/ Social worker+My own business; Career Goals(SCHOLARSHIP)
ScholarshipKweenKween - Apr 17, 2013 / KweenKween - Apr 17, 2013
|Mind/body medicine; What are your educational goals? / Goddard College
Scholarshipcblove9632 - Apr 11, 2013 / dumi - Apr 16, 2013
|Questions about writing a scholarship essay
7 - Scholarship Essay Hi everyone. I would like to know something about writing a scholarship essays.I am writing a...
Scholarshipkusanagi1981 - Apr 24, 2012 / kusanagi1981 - Apr 16, 2013
|Plan to encourage students to pursue a higher education degree; SCHOLARSHIP
2 - ... I think it's better you qualify the students who are eligible for pursuing a degree because not...
Scholarshiptakea - Apr 16, 2013 / dumi - Apr 16, 2013
|I want to read for a PhD in mechanical engineering; Scholarship/ GOALS
Scholarshipfsolano94 - Apr 14, 2013 / dumi - Apr 15, 2013
|Study abroad is difficult without sufficient funds; Reason applying to scholarship?
2 - .... This sentence is way too long and does not flow well. First organize your ideas and then...
Scholarshipcoka2011 - Apr 15, 2013 / dumi - Apr 15, 2013
|Canada Univeristy Scholarship/ Leadership & Service/ Lesson learned
4 - Thanks Shaddy! Anyone else? Please I would really appreciate more help. Harsh criticisms are welcomed!...
Scholarshipdi10di - Apr 14, 2013 / di10di - Apr 15, 2013
|God has bestowed each of us a skeleton & a limited life;SCHOLARSHIP/ Microbio+Biotech
3 - Dear, dumi [Moderator] Thank you very much for your response. I will incorporate your suggestions in my essay. Regards,...
ScholarshipDastogeer - Apr 9, 2013 / Dastogeer - Apr 13, 2013
|Research on Jacalin plant; Study Objective for Fulbright - Pharmaceutical Sciences
NEW - Hi! this is my essay for applying scholarhip from Fulbright to pursue master degree in the US. Indonesia...
ScholarshipBreezeblocks - Apr 9, 2013 / — -
|Multi-Use Scholarship Essay/ What is important to you and why?
3 - So for the second sentence, I could write "Like many others, I have many interests I love, but I...
Scholarshipryoga - Apr 7, 2013 / ryoga - Apr 8, 2013
|Career goals-short and long term and how will training help me/SCHOLARSHIP
6 - " I was prompted to start inquiring about nutrition and self healing modalities"... this sounds a little robotic and...
Scholarshipcblove9632 - Mar 31, 2013 / biologyloser789 - Apr 8, 2013
|Social Media's Impact: Personally and on the Future Generation. Scholarship Essay.
2 - This alone shows the impact of social media on today's generation, especially the one that I belong. ...
ScholarshipIntelligentS - Apr 5, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|"We know why we're here" ; Goals/ Scholarship
2 - Obtaining excellent academic credentials as well as gaining hands on experience through internships are my current priorities. ...
Scholarshipwethediana - Apr 5, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|"Essence of economic and religious liberties in America" - Scholarship Prompt
4 - ... I wish you changed the presentation; The economic and religious freedom of Americans stems from the the...
Scholarshipeagledrafter - Apr 1, 2013 / dumi - Apr 4, 2013
|HOW THE LSBU VC SCHOLARSHIP WOULD MAKE A DIFFERENCE ON MY FUTURE CAREER
NEW - I am applying for a postgraduate scholarship at the London South Bank University. I am supposed to submit a...
ScholarshipKwame - Apr 4, 2013 / — -
|I know I'm not perfect! ; NTU Scholarship - My Values and Beliefs
2 - Therefore I would love to consult opinion of my elders, friends and seniors who have a better exposure...
ScholarshipVisheshS - Mar 29, 2013 / dumi - Mar 30, 2013
|"Power of Money"; SCHOLARSHIP- Field of Study and what has influenced mydecision
Scholarshipdellday23 - Mar 14, 2013 / temptprovidence - Mar 28, 2013
|If I could trade places with any superhero or villain for a day, who would I choose a
Scholarshipcblove9632 - Mar 24, 2013 / Guest - Mar 28, 2013
|I can do justice to the field ; Why I deserve Zion International Graduate Award
3 - .... I feel this is not so strong as your opening paragraph, especially the ideas... I don't see...
Scholarshipdante - Mar 18, 2013 / dumi - Mar 28, 2013
|I link my career with reservoir Engineering; Scholarship in Petroleum Rng
4 - Wow, that's a lot of editing. I'll focus on a little for now... Such reservoirs are reported to...
ScholarshipDaniyar Doskali - Mar 26, 2013 / chessman567 - Mar 27, 2013
|Questbridge College Prep Scholarship: Violin/Band/Daily commute/safety/drowning
ScholarshipCalabala - Mar 26, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Mar 26, 2013
|Quest for Excellence Awards:Science and Technology Award
Scholarshipiluvchocalate13 - Mar 26, 2013 / Calabala - Mar 26, 2013
|My Mom/ Origami/My dad's stroke; Questbridge College Prep Scholarship
5 - Thank you dumi! (: That was really helpful...Thanks to everyone else who commented as well! ^^...
Scholarshipiluvchocalate13 - Mar 24, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Mar 26, 2013
|My values and beliefs and how I demonstrate them through my actions
ScholarshipDespereauxdejoe - Mar 26, 2013 / dumi - Mar 26, 2013
|Coffee,the most important commodity in the Cental Highlands; SCHOLARSHIP
Scholarshipchalotte - Mar 12, 2013 / dumi - Mar 25, 2013
|Bodybuilding/ Asthma & Music/ Being a Muslim; Questbridge Prep Scholarship
4 - No problem! And maybe you could include a little of that explanation in your paragraph, just to clarify. But...
Scholarshipnothingto - Mar 25, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 25, 2013
|I still cherish my failures; Singapore Government Scholarship
3 - congragulation because of your excellent essay . i have learned new words and good sentences. please check my essay...
Scholarshipjinified - Mar 24, 2013 / abcdefgh - Mar 24, 2013
|Need your assistance - (reasons for receiving the scholarship)
Scholarshiptabularasa - Apr 20, 2008 / carpenoctem - Mar 23, 2013
|Dreaming to be a successful business manager;Motivation letter- SCHOLARSHIP,Economics
2 - In the letter of Motivation, it is very important to talk about your professional goals; Rather, you need to...
Scholarshipwinner123 - Mar 21, 2013 / dumi - Mar 21, 2013
|resolve challenge of central Highland- SCHOLARSHIP
2 - So, I together with other members in our research team prepared project proposals such as using enzyme...
Scholarshiptranthamha - Mar 21, 2013 / dumi - Mar 21, 2013
|Cacao is the main crop of Central Highlands; Australia Scholarship
3 - .... since you used the word "main", I assume there are paragraphs prior to this one that talk...
Scholarshiptranthamha - Mar 20, 2013 / dumi - Mar 21, 2013
|The motivation to continuously study food biotechnology ; Why study in Australia?
Scholarshiptran ha - Feb 25, 2013 / tranthamha - Mar 21, 2013
|I'm a 4th year student in Microbiology; Motivational letter for phd scholarship
Scholarshippopydevnath - Mar 15, 2013 / popydevnath - Mar 17, 2013
|Questbridge Prep Scholarship - Short Answers
2 - .... there's something awkward about that part. This is my suggetion; For me, bodybuilding has very little to...
Scholarshipnothingto - Mar 16, 2013 / dumi - Mar 17, 2013
|Extensive field experience/Starting my own software company; Fellowship/Scholarship
Scholarshipeliaspirayesh - Mar 11, 2013 / dumi - Mar 16, 2013
|I have a petite body type & I'm pretty attractive; Questbridge SCHOLARSHIP
Scholarshipharmonyrulez101 - Mar 9, 2013 / dumi - Mar 15, 2013
|I require cutting-edge knowledge in Computer Science; Financial need for SCHOLASHIP
4 - However, the financial constraints stand my way as a major obstacle; My parents are under severe stress with...
Scholarshipillumination - Mar 8, 2013 / dumi - Mar 15, 2013
|University of Texas Scholarship Essay (Radio/TV/Film)- My first moment with film
2 - Awesome! I really like the way you present how this experience stimulated your apetite for filmmkaing industry. It's beautifully...
ScholarshipRandomJPG - Mar 14, 2013 / dumi - Mar 15, 2013
|"work hard" and "don't give up" ; Personal Statement /Forge Scholarship
9 - You repeat the same ideas here... You have already expressed why you want to become a nurse. So avoid...
ScholarshipBlastofftomars1 - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Mar 13, 2013
|I can face all the challenges in life ; NTU Scholarship- My values and beliefs
ScholarshipHuiyoke - Mar 12, 2013 / lookingout - Mar 13, 2013
|I put forth a lot of effort into everything that I do; "Why you deserve scholarship"
Scholarshiplisadewi - Mar 12, 2013 / dumi - Mar 12, 2013
|High opinion of Singapore's education; Me & my interest in this SCHOLARSHIP
Scholarshipprettyboy_bn123 - Mar 9, 2013 / prettyboy_bn123 - Mar 11, 2013
|Piano lessons, paint, dance, and sports; SCHOLARSHIP/Supply Management Master's
2 - I think you can combine these two lines; Growing up, I got interested in learning about value...
Scholarshipdianallc - Mar 10, 2013 / dumi - Mar 11, 2013
|When Life Gets Tough - Don't Quit "DANCE"
Scholarshipc_mrs - Mar 10, 2013 / temptprovidence - Mar 10, 2013
|Independant and Driven!;Why am I a good candidate for this scholarship?
ScholarshipKaJa4 - Mar 5, 2013 / dumi - Mar 10, 2013
|Profound interest in Language&Culture; Benjamin Gilman Scholarship -SOP
2 - Didgeridoo has done great editing for you :) .... You talk about the influence of your culture...
Scholarshipfbnicholson - Mar 2, 2013 / dumi - Mar 9, 2013
|Help Children; QUESTBRIDGE C Prep SCHOLARSHIP/ Why Medicine?
3 - Grammar-wise, I have very few complaints, as you can see. But shack555 is right about your apparent lack of...
Scholarshipegernier - Mar 8, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 8, 2013
|excellent academic history; PhD scholarship/Why deserve?
Scholarshipajith123 - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Mar 8, 2013
|I have the desire, the passion, the motivation, and the intellect;Nursing Scholarship
Scholarshipbwreeves - Mar 7, 2013 / temptprovidence - Mar 7, 2013
|3 Associates Degrees from Pueblo CommunityC; SCHOLARSHIP- CU Boulder/ ACCOMPLISHMENT
3 - There is nothing wrong with this sentence. However, you can present it more creatively; I mean you can...
Scholarshipdarchu7 - Feb 26, 2013 / dumi - Mar 5, 2013
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