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|I have excelled in Science; Gates Millennium Scholars
Scholarshipmagnifikakim - Jan 16, 2013 / dumi - Jan 20, 2013
|VC STUDENT COUNCIL; Leadership ability both in and out of school
ScholarshipAlwaysneedhelp - Jan 10, 2013 / dumi - Jan 20, 2013
|MUSIC- Therapeutic Remedy; Gates Millenium Essay: leadership experience
3 - I'm not sure whether you have already submitted this as it caught my eyes pretty late :) However, this...
ScholarshipAyinna - Jan 15, 2013 / dumi - Jan 20, 2013
|Engineering/ Team work/ European exposure; Motivational letter ; Erasmus Mundus
2 - I wish you presented this more effectively. Why not say this in direct speech having the entire focus...
Scholarshipcheetha - Jan 19, 2013 / dumi - Jan 19, 2013
|My future profession "teacher of languages;Motivation letter/ Erasmus Mundus /Masters
3 - Thank you, Dumi for your great help. I was quiet confused, hurried. I hmeant about IELTS even I didn't...
Scholarshipgboranbayeva - Jan 15, 2013 / gboranbayeva - Jan 16, 2013
|Someday I will achieve my wish; SOP - Scholarship
NEW - Hi, here's my scholarship statement of purpose, I want to know how's the over all idea of the statement...
ScholarshipTsuri - Jan 16, 2013 / — -
|Limited Resources/ Lack of funds; LETTER OF INTENT
5 - Here WE doesnt not have a preceding noun to which it refers.Syria comes at the end of the sentence.A...
Scholarshipseeky - Jan 11, 2013 / dibya - Jan 16, 2013
|Life time experience with a college life; Summer School Scholarship
Scholarshipsamiull - Jan 12, 2013 / samiull - Jan 16, 2013
|Deporting Daniela; Bill Gates Scholarship; Treated unfair.
4 - The prompt: Briefly describe a situation in which you felt that you or others were treated unfairly or...
ScholarshipNicoleO - Jan 14, 2013 / NicoleO - Jan 15, 2013
|Medical care for those live in third-world ; Contribution to diversity
3 - I like the second part =) However, I would recommend you to be more specific on YOURSELF. Write something...
Scholarshipnewcollege - Jan 9, 2013 / VVCepheiA - Jan 14, 2013
|My communication skills/ business skills; Scholarship Essay - Making Difference?
4 - I definitely agree with jkjeremy - if you have 200 words, make every single one count! You dont want...
Scholarshipflorida32 - Jan 11, 2013 / MisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013
|Redefine perceptions; Case Western -Describe your solution
2 - I'm good at being harsh, but I don't need to. This essay is fairly solid. You begin the essay...
Scholarshipvenkatasuhas5 - Jan 12, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 12, 2013
|Desperate for guidance; Scholarship-Leadership experience
2 - Hello, "It appears that every girl wants to be a Barbie, Nicki Minaj is the hair color queen,...
Scholarshiplexilex1995 - Jan 10, 2013 / admission2012 - Jan 10, 2013
|Bachelor's Degree and becoming a prosecutor; Scholarship Essay/ Short&Long TERM GOALS
Scholarshiplexilex1995 - Jan 9, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 10, 2013
|Financial Analyst; MICHAEL'S MOTIVATION LETTER , MSC FINANCE AT CARDIFF,UK
ScholarshipMichael 13 - Jan 10, 2013 / Michael 13 - Jan 10, 2013
|Cancer is the 2nd leading cause of death ; Scholarship/ Goals as a professional
ScholarshipTeiji - Jan 7, 2013 / victoraguirre13 - Jan 9, 2013
|"Words to Remember"; Scholarship Essay - The Best Advice
ScholarshipChris1395 - Jan 6, 2013 / AmoebaMan - Jan 9, 2013
|Want to broaden my perspectives; Gilman Scholarship Statement of Purpose Essay
NEW - Here is my essay; I am planning to study abroad in New Zealand and I am currently a Nutrition...
ScholarshipRedinlove - Jan 9, 2013 / — -
|Work in Europe; Motivation Letter/Structural Engineering
Scholarshipqky - Jan 6, 2013 / qky - Jan 9, 2013
|From Congo & Post-college ambition; SCHOLARSHIP APP
3 - this is interesting you should add some else such as a hard time that you went through or something...
Scholarshipmerveille2011 - Jan 8, 2013 / lexilex1995 - Jan 8, 2013
|Too many females; COMMON APP/Situation that I was unfairly treated
4 - The essay is much better now. You have established a story that will allow you to answer each question...
Scholarshiplexilex1995 - Jan 7, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 7, 2013
|Benefit to Home Country,Future long-term Goals/ UK Scholarship
NEW - Hi everyone, I have plans to apply for XXXX scholarship. I applied last year as well but the...
Scholarshipkaslam2 - Jan 7, 2013 / — -
|Volunteering at equine therapy center for autistic kids/ Contribution to community
Scholarships23180185 - Dec 28, 2012 / s23180185 - Jan 6, 2013
|Tuberculosis/ Clone; Motivation letter
2 - "As perAccording to the data presented by WHO," I would use this introduction. "I believe with the aid of...
Scholarshiprajatp - Jan 6, 2013 / Shifu123 - Jan 6, 2013
|I am open-minded/ Difficulty in Art & Science - GATS Scholarship
6 - Definitely change the word "learnt" to learned or learn. "Learnt" is not a word. There are also some sentences...
Scholarshiplexilex1995 - Jan 6, 2013 / tinkr1 - Jan 6, 2013
|I Am Not Fully "Korean"- Westmont Cultural Diversity Essay
Scholarshipqasderwdw - Jan 6, 2013 / qasderwdw - Jan 6, 2013
|Trying new things/ Skating; Leadership based SCHOLARSHIP/ Experience
2 - You repeat "extent" twice in this sentence - I would recommend dropping the second one since it's...
Scholarshipchocolateshoppe - Jan 5, 2013 / lornam - Jan 6, 2013
|I Took a Risk - I joined the Cross Country Team SCHOLARSHIP
2 - It's a nice answer, and showed how you challenged yourself. HOWEVER, is it really a risk? You joined the...
Scholarshipchocolateshoppe - Jan 5, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 5, 2013
|"Science is merely common sense at its best" ; SOP for ERASMUS MUNDUS scholarship
3 - thanks alott lethicia for your rapid response,glad to have your comments and positive comments :-)...
Scholarshipmizna - Jan 4, 2013 / mizna - Jan 4, 2013
|I volunteered as a Special-Hands buddy;GE-REAGAN SCHOL;Leadership/ Positive Influence
NEW - Before he became America's 40th President, Ronald Reagan pursued leadership roles to inspire and advocate for those around him....
ScholarshipCLTSO13 - Jan 4, 2013 / — -
|TURNTABLES/ MIXING SONGS; Gates Millennium Schol /Other areas of KNOWLEDGE or SKILLS
3 - It seems slightly flaccid. I think you could add dialogue+details to make it more engaging. Please see my essay....
Scholarshiptherealjso - Jan 1, 2013 / hughj - Jan 4, 2013
|New opportunities/ Affable,Multicultural Environment; Scholarship- Why UWC?
Scholarshiprainee - Jan 3, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 4, 2013
|Graduation Test; Georgia / Personal challenge
3 - @cristichica Would this revision work in place of the sentence you were talking about? Revision: I deserve financial aid...
ScholarshipHenryAmber - Jan 3, 2013 / HenryAmber - Jan 4, 2013
|Gates Millennium Scholarship (subjest in which you excel)
2 - a very well written essay. I loved the beginning and the end. however in the middle you lose the...
Scholarshipninjakungfu - Jan 1, 2013 / zdv - Jan 3, 2013
|Inspirational Mom; Jeff Krosnoff Scholarship/Inspiring poem
Scholarshippinkpolkadot15 - Jan 3, 2013 / — -
|FLUTE; UT Dallas McDermott Scholarship essay - Why Dallas Museum of Art?
Scholarshiplornam - Jan 2, 2013 / katev - Jan 2, 2013
|Brain tumor survivors; FURMAN SCHOLARSHIP/ Current issue/recent event
Scholarshiphpdwnsn95 - Jan 1, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 2, 2013
|UM Scholarship Essay; 'I used to have an on/off switch that I came to loathe'
NEW - Please tell me what you think! Not a very good writer...Every question must be answered in 100-150 words (Some...
Scholarshipgdiazdeleon - Jan 1, 2013 / — -
|Gain insight and new perspective / What Inspires You?- Study Abroad Scholarship
2 - What does stereotypes have to do with your inspiration? I think you should supress this part since it i...
Scholarshipc_lignelli - Dec 31, 2012 / duquevan - Dec 31, 2012
|The best things in life aren't things; SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY
6 - " I have joined in many extracurricular activities at my school such as the basketball team, some clubs like...
Scholarshipgabi_gallegos - Dec 29, 2012 / Edna - Dec 31, 2012
|I was a very curious child; My goals/ Scholarship
7 - sakura741 Thank you very much indeed... As i said the maximum words of the essay supposed to be 300...
ScholarshipNew1234 - Dec 30, 2012 / New1234 - Dec 30, 2012
|I stuck firmly to my own principles; Values and Beliefs- NTU SCHOLARSHIP
4 - It is that people might be offended by my words or actions which I do not realize they could....
Scholarshipnenakris - Dec 20, 2012 / New1234 - Dec 29, 2012
|"You're wrong, I'm right" ; Yale/Princeton Supp; Role of Culture
2 - I really like this! Not sure exactly what the quotation embodies, but other than that, great narrative. ...
ScholarshipRange Rover - Dec 29, 2012 / hellogoodbye - Dec 29, 2012
|Graphic designer; Tell us about your academic/career short-term and long-term goals.
2 - It's a good story. But there's a lot of sentence structure problems. I would take out the first sentence...
Scholarshipgabi_gallegos - Dec 28, 2012 / s23180185 - Dec 28, 2012
|And I have carried that lesson with me everywhere since; National Merit Scholarship
Scholarshipdevyndowdle11 - Dec 12, 2012 / s23180185 - Dec 28, 2012
|"Be the Change You Want to See" High School Travel Abroad Scholarship
2 - You don't have to read any headlines to find intolerance. Racism, hatred, and fear,There should not be a comma...
Scholarshipc_lignelli - Dec 26, 2012 / sogoldman - Dec 27, 2012
|APIASF Scholarship; ADVICE!
2 - Brian, First, I think that is a fairly well written introduction. You articulated what is to come in...
ScholarshipWantingtoLearn - Dec 27, 2012 / Chris1395 - Dec 27, 2012
|"A dream without a goal is a wish. A Goal without a Plan is just a dream";Career
3 - Although I am not (do not ) desire a job to work with computer, still, mom know(knows) (the)best....
Scholarshipphantom27 - Dec 26, 2012 / Chloemoon - Dec 26, 2012
|"If you want you can"; leadership role
ScholarshipChouaib_dz - Dec 25, 2012 / Silleth - Dec 25, 2012
|Getting involved to get connected; Tmw's Leaders Scholarship
3 - can u re construct it as an example? the phrases between brackets is another form so help me to...
ScholarshipPaulesZakhary - Dec 24, 2012 / PaulesZakhary - Dec 25, 2012
|"I was always fascinated by the world of science" ; Motivation letter Epic program
2 - I was always fascinated by the world of science where mysteries become facts , my passion towards science and...
Scholarshipla1989 - Dec 21, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 25, 2012
|Why this MAJOR? for U and UR COUNTRY? wht u will do after GRADUATION?
3 - Hello, I'm participating in a program called TLP, and Actually I had to write the same essay (...
ScholarshipPaulesZakhary - Dec 24, 2012 / Chouaib_dz - Dec 25, 2012
|They are in need of science education; Scholarship - How You Give Back to Community?
ScholarshipKYOAAA - Dec 22, 2012 / KYOAAA - Dec 24, 2012
|NKB ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE PROGRAM helped me realize my dream- Electrical & Computer Eng
NEW - PLS READ and Critique this essay!! I have two day left to submit this essay. Briefly describe how...
ScholarshipChigozie - Dec 22, 2012 / — -
|what experience sets me apart from other students? for a scholarship application
Scholarshipwilliamse13 - Dec 17, 2012 / dumi - Dec 21, 2012
|Short + long-term career/academic goals and how my Hispanic heritage influenced them
2 - You wrote a wonderful essay! I found one comma that you should consider adding in any future revisions. ...
Scholarshipamandaco - Dec 15, 2012 / creepernaut - Dec 20, 2012
|Career Goals : Corporate Responsibility (SCHOLARSHIP ESSAY)
3 - In 200 to 300 words, describe your plans as they relate to your educational and career objectives and future...
Scholarship271194n - Dec 18, 2012 / 271194n - Dec 19, 2012
|motivation letter for scholarship to study chemical innovation and regulation
Scholarshiphonorable - Dec 15, 2012 / artin - Dec 19, 2012
|Interes in Science & Engineering/ Career Goal ;Statement of Objectives for Schol
NEW - Please review my statement of objectives foe schoarship application STATEMENT OF OBJECTIVES OFOSU ROBERT AGYARE I have...
ScholarshipOfosu - Dec 18, 2012 / — -
|statement of intent Oil and Gas industry "scholarship essay"
2 - Good Job!!!...
Scholarshipdanmeyuss - Dec 12, 2012 / artin - Dec 18, 2012
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