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AAS Master of Computer Science - Proposed course and Institution Essay

akmal16 1 / 3 1  
May 8, 2020   #1


As one of the emerging technologies, Artificial Intelligence has the potential to not only advance fields ranging from medicine, agriculture to governance but also bridge the technical and expertise gap in these fields. This is especially true in Aceh where this technology is not commonplace but will greatly benefit from greater adoption of AI systems. Expertise in this field would allow me to contribute to solving problems in Aceh and provide opportunities to engage with the local government to proliferate the use of AI.

As one of the poorer regencies in Indonesia, Aceh has been struggling with high unemployment and low economic growth which results in socioeconomic stagnation. I presume 4 major usage of AI that tackles the challenges in terms of public administration, law enforcement and medicine. Firstly, Automated filing systems for licenses and permits, will reduce the administrative burden on the citizens and government employees, thus improving administrative capacity. Secondly, AI system to summarize research and technical documents for law makers to create more effective public policy based on data. Thirdly, monitoring systems for law enforcement for better response and policing. Lastly, AI systems that can bridge preparedness gap in managing public health crises, through early warnings, tracking and social control.

I am certain that implementations of AI systems, with human-in-the-loop approach, will help in alleviating the conditions in Aceh. Ranking first among Australian universities, the University of Melbourne hosts experienced professors and cutting-edge research laboratory in AI and Robotics, with a research focus on human-agent collaboration and explainable AI. I believe that the University of Melbourne will afford me the technical expertise required for advanced research in human-AI collaboration and access to technical resources to implement the aforementioned AI systems and their supporting infrastructure.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
May 9, 2020   #2
You are spreading your reasons for your proposed course too widely. They do not relate to one another. You should find a common reason that your pursuit of an AI masters course will help you create an improved approach to all of the fields that you provided. As a reviewer, I will be looking for that consolidated reason that would tell me that you actually understand how AI can integrate these 3, differing fields. Right now, I do not see how that can be approached in your presentation. This statement makes you seem like you have not really thought your course choice through. It will be better to pick one focus for your response. You will not impress the examiner with multiple, unrelated choices that you cannot integrate into one goal or improvement proposal.

Your choice of university needs to have more personal interest in it. You are just saying things about the university that could be said of all the universities in Australia. You have to study your academic goals in relation to your professional target. Then look for the common factors that the university addresses. You can discuss these as the reason for your institution choice.
kayzee 2 / 5 1  
May 9, 2020   #3
I presume 4 major usage of AI that tackles the challenges in terms of public administration, law enforcement and medicine ( I suggest that you can choose any one area and elaborate your response in detail in that area)

In your last paragraph it is very generalized, you can pin point any particular things that is of great interest to you and can support in your endeavors.

I am myself researching alot on writing these essays.I did write a dozen of drafts and still not satisfied with one. So keep writing and do not neglect any single thought you come accross. It may help you
OP akmal16 1 / 3 1  
May 10, 2020   #4
Thank you for the feedback, it's immensely helpful, I'll make the necessary revision based on your suggestions. Yes, I agree choosing one would be better, my reasoning for mentioning all three was because they have a common denominator, mainly in terms of processing paperwork and logistics, which , if streamlined with automated AI system, would improve efficiency and productivity.

Hi, Thank you, I'll work on a better response for the chosen institution.

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