Start the essay by introducing your academic background and relevant work experience. Do not make that information selective based onthe course and institution. Your presentation lacks fluidity and , information in the current format. Be clear about why you decided to become an urban planner based ona collective rather than selective platform at the start.
As an urban designer, I also get to work and collaborate with many experts in other field to solve problems in designing an urban space.
This information better suits the goals discussion. Put a pin in it for now.
Urban designer and urban planner usually work together ... urban space and resource.
You sound like you are lecturing the reviewer. - There is no clear professional reason for this choice.
You need to reflect an academic necessity and at least 2 professional goals. One for each course. Develop both explanations to help you create a more convincing response. Right now, the presentation is not well thought out and developed. The reviewer will definitely not be interested in this type of response. This is a written interview, not a casual inquiry. You don't seem like a serious applicant in this presentation. Bring out that side of interest in your explanation.