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My ability to surpass limits, gather support and prompt creativity to achieve a common goal

Moyosola1234 1 / -  
Sep 4, 2019   #1

Leadership and Influencing skill - Chevening Scholarship

Hi. Please i need your help for the review of the below essay for chevening scholarship. Please kindly help with the comment and necessary correction concerning the essay.

chevening is looking for individuals that will be futures leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skill to support your answers (max 500 words)

Leadership is all about motivating and influencing people. My ability to surpass limits, gather support and prompt creativity to achieve a common goal in all the setting I find myself help me out in my leadership pursuit. My first experience of demonstrating leadership skill start when I was the senior prefect in my secondary and primary school, where I was able to gather and motivate up to ten student to embark on building school gate project due to high level of dilapidated of the gate. Our attitude and commitment towards the project motivate other classmate to join us in the completion of the project. This achievement made the school authority to honour me and my other colleague with an award of excellence for our contribution and leadership role.

Furthermore, my undergraduate days has been a great opportunity for me to demonstrate my leadership and influencing skill. I was able to create a group of five like-minded student that was involve in the activities of contributing to student live by organizing coaching classes and seminar for student in lower and higher level in order to impact them with knowledge and experience needed for them to succeed in their academic pursuit and career. Through this, I and my other colleague were able to influence the up to 150 student before we graduate. More so, I was able to motivate other group member to develop a tour brochure to promote the existence of our department (hospitality and tourism) in school. Our achievement was used as a referencing point for other student and used during Nigeria University Commission accreditation of the department. This act made the department to recommend me for an award of excellence in the school of which I was given.

Moreover, I demonstrate my leadership and influencing skill while working at Ethiopian airlines as both an intern and staff. As aviation industry require teamwork, commitment and motivation, which are part of leadership skill. I was able to influence and motivate other team member at work by encouraging them and always persuade them to meet our daily target of fifty percent registered passenger for frequent flyer program. The station has never been ranked top ten before but my presence and level of encouragement and persuasion of team member to work help us to achieve a set goal of being among the top three station in the world in term of registering passenger for frequent flyer program. Also, while I was at the baggage section I was able to influence other colleague to work and contribute effectively to improve the section. This ability to motivate and create a teamwork for better achievement made the Lagos station manager to recommend me his colleague at Abuja station and help me to be retain as their staff in Abuja station.

As a leader my plan is to create a group and forum to encourage, inspire and motivate youth in hospitality and tourism industry to become great leaders that will make positive impact in the world.

Rotimi 1 / 1  
Sep 6, 2019   #2
I am also applying for this year 's chevening scholarship.

Your essay really presented good leadership examples.

Although I might not be very good at writing but after going through the essay, I found out somethings which I need to call your attention to.

You need to do a grammar check on the whole essay as there were so many grammatical errors starting from the first paragraph to the last. e.g.

The omission of 's' and the use of your tense in the first and third paragraph. ... demonstrating leadership skills started when ...

Moreover, I demonstrated my ... skills ...
... are part of leadership skills.

... other team members at work by ... persuading them to ...

The use of punctuations is another thing you also need to check for and also the ommission of some important connecting words in your sentences.

Those are my points of view and I really hope they are useful and also explained what I meant well
Tobechukwu 3 / 8  
Sep 9, 2019   #3
Hello moyosola,
You have very good experiences to build upon. I precisely use the word build because your points need to be refined. For instance elaborate on the actions you took that created the results, the challenges and how you overcame. Don't just say your efforts helped your department,state what these efforts were, do not just state how you improved the rating of your work place,state what you did.

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