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Scholarship advice (Outstanding Performance in Sciences)


wide 2 / 4  
Apr 21, 2012   #1
Hi all, could you please give some advice on it? It requires me to write an essay (not more than 500 words) giving reasons why you think you deserve the scholarship. I don't know if I have included suitable material in the essay and actually, I have written 529 words, however, I do have any ideas how to delete the things. It would be great if you could help. Thank you very much.

Dear Scholarship Selection Committee,

I am writing to apply for Winnie Tam Scholarship. I take this opportunity to introduce myself and tell the reasons why I deserve the scholarship.

Since childhood I have a great interest towards Science. I asked about 'why' and my father could always answer me in the view of Science. Somehow, I was affected by my father.

I did not confirm my career setting until last September. I strongly experienced how one's death affected people who are living. My friend's relative who was very close to her passed away in an accident. Observing her for at least a month, no appetite, no concentration, and her body seemed to just be a container without content. It is distressful to see her like that. Medicine becomes my most wanted studied subject.

Although I have passion for being a doctor, I never had the chance to fully develop this interest. However, I discovered the fun of science via both my academics and my extracurricular activities.

Academically, I studied Science to understand the subtlety of it. Though my academic result may drop a bit this year, my interest towards this subject never falls a tiny bit.

As my strong curiosity about Science, I challenge myself by joining the Innovate Energy Design Competition with my friends. In the competition, we designed an environmental-friendly house which applied all renewable energy like solar power and included an idea using the movement of a mouse as a source of energy. Obviously, being a secondary 4 student, I quickly found that sufficient scientific knowledge was extremely important. Without scientific knowledge, any ideas could never turn into a workable plan. Therefore, in this academic year, I have devoted myself in education.

Joining the school educational trip to New Zealand broadened my horizon. The most memorable of the trip is determining sedimentation based on the size of cockles and number of cockles located within certain area. I dig up live cockles with my partners, count and measure the size of them. By these, I can suggest the time of the last flooding occurs. It was fascinating to do such experiment.

After learning about science, it is funny that that I relate everything to Science. When I am learning ice-skating, I think of friction and inertia; when I am playing the piano, I think of muscle contraction and sound wave; when I see my mother use soap, I think of ammonia. Suddenly, my life is full of Science. I turn to explain the phenomenon instead of asking 'why'.

In my near future, I hope to continue in this same manner of studying science, most probably on Medicine. I feel this goal setting is ones where I would use my knowledge to its full potential and push myself to another level. Just as Marie Curie dedicates her life to public service, I commit my life to helping others.

If awarded this scholarship, I will be so grateful for the encouragement. I would use the money for books which provides me with both personal enjoyments as well as help me with my school needs.

Thank you for taking the time to review my letter and thanks for your consideration.

Yours faithfully,
__________
amanda98387 3 / 7  
Apr 23, 2012   #2
I just wrote an essay also asking why I feel I deserve scholarship. Although I like how you wrote yours, what I did was decribe my current situation how this scholarship would help me reach my goals of my career.
OP wide 2 / 4  
Apr 25, 2012   #3
Thank you :)
haitham 3 / 4  
Apr 25, 2012   #4
Very nice letter describing your interest toward science, It looks you love science the same way I do. For your letter you still have some errors such as in " Innovate Energy Design Competition " It has to be " Innovative Energy Design Competition "

and you have some typing errors such as you repeated the word " that " twice. Anyways it is well done. I still have a question I am a freshman college student and my GPA is 4.0 I want to have scholarship, but I do not know where to start from and from to begin. Please if you have any idea just help me and guide me to it?

thanks a lot,
OP wide 2 / 4  
Apr 30, 2012   #5
Thank you for your reminder.

Actually I do not familiar with your educational system. I don't quite understand of your question as well.

If you mean writing a scholarship essay, I think you can start by introducing your interest and then tell the activities that you joined.

If you mean preparing for a scholarship, I suggest joining activities that the scholarship requires or looks as selection criteria.

Hope this help you. Good luck!
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
May 3, 2012   #6
Since childhood I have had a great interest towards Science.

I asked about 'why' and my father could always answer me in the view of Science.

I did not confirm my career goals until last September.

Although I have a passion for becoming a doctor, I never had the chance to fully develop this interest.

Due to my strong curiosity about Science, I challenge myself by joining the Innovate Energy Design Competition with my friends.

Without scientific knowledge, our ideas could never turn into a workable plan.

I feel this goal setting is ones where I would use my knowledge to its full potential and push myself to another level.

Just as Marie Curie dedicated her life to public service, I commit my life to helping others.

I would use the money for books which will provide me with both personal enjoyments as well as help me with my school needs.

:)


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