Analyst of Marine Protected Area. Three practical examples in Australia Awards Scholarship

I work as Analyst of Marine Protected Area. I would proposed for masters of marine protected area management in James cook university.
Please give me inputs on my essay. Thanks!!

three ideas to use my knowledge

1.I would implement my practical skill and knowledge that I get from Australia to design and develop a MPA management based on zoning system model. This project would engage multi stakeholders (other government institutions, private sectors, NGOs and local communities) through partnership forum. The constraint is lack of coordination and collaboration among stakeholders because stakeholder representative may not fit with the need of project.

2.I would do research biodiversity and coverage area of coral and seagrass data which linked with oceanography, economic growth and population growth data in order to develop an understanding the effect of climate change to marine ecosystem and livelihood communities. I believe this particular research could be used as critical supporting to develop a Strategic plan for mitigation and adaptation of marine ecosystems to climate change in MPA. The constraint is lack of reliable data to compare with survey result data and willingness of other government stakeholder to be engaged in this research.

3.I would share my skill and knowledge to coastal communities in my institution working area, by giving them a quality training and creating more interactive socialization to raise their awareness about marine natural resources. By build a partnership with NGOs ( WCS and CTC) would enhance the quality and quantity of socialization and training. As a result, coastal community would be more engaged in making planning, conducting surveillance in MPA and contribute to conserve the natural resources. The constraint is lack of communities willingness to be engaged actively in socialization and training.

Fajar, with a 2000 character count in the essay, your work has room for improvement. However, before I start talking about the improvement to the content, I should first, ask you to revise the essay format. Don't present this essay in numerical form. The prompt was given to you as a guide so that you can discuss your response in an essay format. Collate the information that you have now and add transition sentences at the end of each paragraph in order to create a more fluid response discussion. Now, for the part that you can improve in the paragraphs. All of your possible constraints are limited to only one sentence per paragraph. You have to further develop the constraints in order to prove that these constraints have to be overcome and the importance of overcoming them. In the current version that you have, you only tell the reviewer what the constraint is but you are not mentioning how you plan to overcome that constraint, which is implied in the essay as being solvable by the completion of your masters degree.