"Please describe your personal and educational goals. What challenges have you faced that have helped shape those goals? How have you dealt with those challenges?"
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As my career, I would like to pursue in Graphic Design because of my love for art and visual design. My goal is to receive a Bachelor's degree in Graphic Design at Western Washington University, which is where I am currently studying at as a sophomore. By doing what I love as my career, I hope to live my life making art, a fulfilling life that will honor the hardships my family as gone through to provide me opportunities for a better future.
My love for art stems from my childhood and the support of my parents who are both artists. Unfortunately, they were not given the opportunity to become fully fledged artists; instead they chose to immigrate to America to give me and my brother a better future. Financially, they could not support us as much as they wanted. I grew up drawing with broken crayons and used coloring books, but they continued encouraged me to develop my talent while painstakingly working graveyard shifts at seedy motels to provide for our family. In his few moments of spare time, my father taught me the techniques and history of art that he learned. The love my father has for art is still apparent today as he always keeps his books and tools that he brought over from South Korea over 25 years ago. Thinking back, my father was the one who reinforced my choice to major in Graphic Design even before starting college.
Although I grew up in poverty, a difficult situation that many immigrants face, it hasn't impeded my improvement throughout my childhood. While I didn't take art lessons or classes until I moved to a better school my senior year, I supplemented my interest by making friends who were also artists, attending art clubs in school and saving my allowance to buy my own sketchbooks and color pencils instead of school lunches. I constantly drew in my spare time, learned techniques from my father and followed artists who have online portfolios. Slowly I branched into different mediums including digital art, which was greatly encouraged by my mother, although unskilled in computers and technology, believed that the future will rely heavily upon it.
Due to that nugget of wisdom, I am studying Graphics Design at Western Washington University. The professional side of art is challenging and new but I am determined to successfully graduate with a Bachelor's degree. My financially strained childhood has taught me that doing what I love most and encouraging those love to do the same, is more fulfilling than anything otherwise.
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I've never been very good at writing essays, especially when I know a scholarship is on the line! I'd very much appreciate any constructive critcism that anyone has to offer :)
After that long, rather philosophical last sentence of the first paragraph, I think you should add a short, very clear and specific sentence to balance it out. "Sharpen" the thesis statement (or theme) of the paper by adding this brief, clear, meaningful sentence right at the end of that first paragraph. What brief sentence can perfectly express your idea?
Although I grew up in poverty, a difficult situation that many immigrants face, it hasn't impeded my improvement throughout my childhood.----Hey, you have excellent command over English grammar... this essay has some very well-structured sentences.
For a compound sentence, use a comma:
The professional side of art is challenging and new, but I am determined to successfully graduate with a Bachelor's degree.
This is an inspirational and impressive essay! If you really want to profit with your art, learn about the way to use Internet marketing and drive traffic to your site. That is the way things are done in the 21st century. I hope you will become an expert about Godaddy, PayPal, and perhaps Google Blogger. That is the way for artists to prosper in the information age.
:-)
