I'm applying to path A. Last year, I got an unconditional offer from UoG, but I'm sure my personal statement was nothing close to what was expected for this kind of scholarship application. That's why I'm applying again and I would like some professional feedback on my personal statement. I want to have this PS ready so I can start the other two since I will be applying for 3 Erasmus+ Masters this time in order to have more chances to get a scholarship.
Word count: 1018.
Personal Statement for Erasmus Master
After the depletion of many resources during the war, Colombia is in a key post-conflict juncture to transform its economy. In the National Development Plan (2018-2022), is seen for the first time, a pact that plans to encourage the emergence of creative industries. However, there are still many social, infrastructure, and educational challenges for this developing country.
I am applying the Global History & Creative Industries pathway to complement my studies in Business and Marketing with a holistic approach that intercepts various disciplines. Also, to emphasize in the context in which the phenomena studied are found. This, to achieve a multidisciplinary vision of different situations, policies and strategies. The courses offered in the Master, do it perfectly because they provide topics of economics, history, sociology, urban planning, and innovation, taking them to the scope of different types of industries that exist today.
After the Venezuelan diaspora skyrocketed in 2011, approximately 2.3% of Colombia's inhabitants are now Venezuelans. With the post-conflict situation, this can be a great opportunity for both sides. There's a percentage of foreign human capital, trained to enhance the various creative industries along with the locals. However, there are challenges to be overcome. The lack of educational and technological tools is a reality. This is the only way to train those who will be in charge of keeping these industries sustainable over time. To catalyze these inputs, Colombia must enhance its economic development policies, in order to create a plan that unifies the new human capital, with the resources recovered after the restrictions experienced during the conflict.
During my undergraduate studies, I deepened into how the phenomenon of globalization has overturned global dynamics in terms of economy, culture, and the social contract. Also, on how context and time play an important role in the success of business strategies. In my degree project, I analyzed how the company where I did my internship adapted to technological changes to continue in the market by offering a service through digital channels at the forefront. With the situation experienced with the recent pandemic, the importance of digitality in business and the existence of creative industries in a country became even more evident. These kind of circumstances make us rethink the dependence of the economy of countries in certain industries and the initiatives to mitigate risks in unexpected situations. The Creative Industries and Creative Cities courses will help me understand more deeply the potential that some cities in my country have in terms of competitiveness through the diversification of the industrial portfolio into pioneering niches in different types of creativity.
I joined AIESEC from 2013 to 2016, during that time I sent around 400 students abroad to develop social projects that were related to the SDG goals or creative and cultural industries such as education, advertising, and film. My job was to generate strategic alliances with cities around the globe and match the candidates to them. The result was an exchange of human capital and creative initiatives. Students from different disciplines contributed with their expertise and once they returned to Colombia they brought the know-how related to the projects they had done to replicate them in their local community.
One of my greatest job satisfaction has been working directly with local businesses or small communities near my city. A very particular one was to enhance the visibility of a local brand of handmade shoes, telling its story and the importance of tradition in technique and handcraft. All these thanks to the power of advertising in the digital world, and in this way the work of artisans was made known in the American market while preserving the same essence.
During my AIESEC years, I have organized and led several events that promote youth entrepreneurship and educate young people about the economic, social and cultural context in which we find ourselves. I have also lead leadership and cultural understanding workshops so the students made their best out of the exchange experience abroad.
In my experience in Brazil, I had the opportunity to work for a unicorn fin tech, in a project based on the generation of audiovisual content for the entertainment of the Latin public. The main strategy was to link Asian merchants like DHGate and Aliexpress with the Latin public, for the last to turn towards the global trend of electronic payments and online shopping.
My thesis would discuss how an emerging country like Colombia, can boost its economic portfolio through cultural tourism. The discussion would delve into the long term out-turn of this industry over the archetypal ones. Also, the role of agents such as the government, NGOs, businesses, and consumers will be assessed in order to identify practices of potential development as well as challenges.
After completing my master's degree, I plan to work hand in hand with the local government to develop a project that will promote the cultural and gastronomic diversity of my city in the international tourism sector. In this way, the global recognition that Barranquilla has for its carnival could be used as a starting point to create a branding of the city. All of this involving the population affected by the conflict and immigrants. On the other hand, the project's pitch will be presented to local companies to raise investment in infrastructure that can generate a sense of place. Finally, this would be replicated in other cities from the north of my country to create a tourism corridor that will cultivate regional development in one of the key regions of the country.
Studying my master's degree in this consortium of universities will be an opportunity that will give an intangible added value to my professional career and personal life. It is incredible to think that I will study in places where invaluable contributions to today's society have emerged, like those of Adam Smith. All this in an environment where I will share with students from different parts of the world about our cultures, thus creating a network of global citizens willing to generate changes in our communities.
I hope that my application will be aligned with the profile of a future professional committed to GLOCAL initiatives.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 Your personal statement is not focused enough. Have you gone through the list of available masters courses for the upcoming semester? If you have, then you need to adjust your personal statement to be more relevant to your chosen degree. Remember, the personal statement requires you to show how your interest in the course developed and give a simple explanation as to how this will be relevant to your current and future career. In this case, Expand on the discussion regarding the National Development Plan (2018-2022).
Your personal statement should help you connect the development plan to the course you wish to study. The personal aspect will come from how your desire to study the course ties in with your theoretical and practical skills development. Though you do not need any work experience to apply for the program, since you are referring to a specific national action plan, it would be best for you to mention a professional development plan. Do not mention anything that you cannot justify in the essay. In this version, you mentioned the action plan, then... nothing. You dropped the ball when you should be using that development plan to explain how and why your interest in the course developed. The discussion of that topic is all that is needed to make this a proper and acceptable personal statement. You don't have to discuss your thesis statement here. You should save that for your statement of purpose, along with an a simple discussion of your undergraduate background in relation to your masters studies skills foundation.
As of now, you need to fix the gaping hole in the essay between the national plan, the course you have chosen to study, and your personal aspirations that led to your interest in applying for this course.
