Hi Myself Abhishek and I am applying for UCW for session of 2022-2024. I would Like to have Feedback for my essay which I am submitting along with the application. And Following is the Topic-
A personal statement
(within 300 words)
explaining why you are interested in attending a UWC school/college and reflecting on UWC's mission and values, what you might contribute to the school/college and what you would hope to gain from the experience.
A couple of years ago, I received a splendid opportunity to visit the prominently distinctive United World College for the Diwali celebration. The First Impression Of the Multicultural, Unique and serene Mahindra UWC was astonishing. The liberty to learn with and about Distinctive cultures, Chance to serve the people, Unique and Practical learning program, Array of Extracurricular activities, Expeditionary learning and achieving an Internationally Proclaimed Qualification - All these is what I dreamed for which Captivated me towards UWC. briefly the major Impetus which allured me towards UWC was The concept of " Deliberate Diversity " and " Shared Learning "
The people from Different languages having different culture and different nature coming together for a common Vision of Peaceful and a Sustainable World Strengthened my Urge to Attain UWC. I trust that I have the imperative forte and attributes needed for Enactment of the Positive Visions of UWC community. At the outset, I punctiliously aim that I will contribute my Energy, Passion, Creativity, Idealism, Curiosity, Imagination, Kindness and Optimism Towards UWC as well as Gaining leadership skills and Communication Skills through UWC. Moreover as a UWC student I would Aspire to Foster and Introduce Ingenious Ideas, commemorate Similarities and Differences, have respect for our Environment, and Above all Compassion and care for Poor and Needy.
It is sure that the Absolute Adventure of Two Years in UWC will shape me into Better Human, Make me a All-Rounder, Give me Friends of Lifetime, Rather Enact Knowledge of Self-Realization and Social Service Through the CAS program.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,830 
4781 The writer has not responded to the prompt at all. The information provided is only cut and paste information about the university as found on its website. The writer does not explain a personal connection to the university based on the mission and objectives of the U W C for its students. The essay is trashable and not worth editing. It was not worth posting for review here because the student did not even try to go beyond cut and paste efforts as seen by the incorrect usage of capital letters which were originally used as banner information on the website, and punctuation errors. This essay will only improve if the student actually tries to apply himself to the essay by focusing on the personal connection aspect as required.
