Why am I applying for Master of Data Science? Proposed course and institution (AAS Essay)

Hi, i need someone to give advice on my essay, thank you
any comments are welcome Thank you

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution ?

I am applying for a Master degree of Data Science (M.Das) to enhance my skills in data analytic and programming. The study will shaped me with practical skills to extract information and generate decisions based on data, which are significant skills for me who work in public sector. In addition, I believe learning Data Science will enlarge my career opportunities.

My profession is a civil cervant at Climatology Agency of Kampar. My organisation has big concerned in climate change and environment. As a technician, I am responsible to maintain the instrument of observing system in good performance. I also contribute to program a prediction about the incoming rainy and dry season. However, we are still improving our method of prediction to deliver the most accurate information.

In order to generate accurate predictions, I realise having a good skill of programming and analysing the data is a must. Leveraging my knowledge in programming, I hoped to address the issues by the study I will pursue, precisely in Data Science.

I choose Master of Data Science at Monash university because they offered internship programme to work in industry. This practical experience is essential because students will dive into real-world problems and learn how to deliver the solutions. Moreover, Monash University establised Monash Data Futures Institue (MDFI) in 2019, has conducted several researches including topic in environment and climate change, which are my professional's interest. These researches tried to solved global issues aligned to United Nations' Sustainable Development Goals (SDG).

For my second preferences, The University of Melbourne also offered Data Science master's degree with internship programme, and one of their partner institutions is Bureau of Meteorology (BoM), which have a common field as my organisation. I have an interest to work as internship in BoM because the knowledge that I will obtain is valuable for my organisation.

Good job! Well developed, insightful, and forward projecting. It shows that you have given a great thought to your course choice and, quite specifically, how the university training programs will prove to be beneficial to you as a person seeking additional theoretical and technical training. The way you present the information is good. However, you may want to clarify what sort of technician you are and what instruments you specifically maintain to prove that you also make a contribution to the prediction phase. If you can expand your presentation regarding the relevance of your study to your current position, then it will be easier for you to discuss your future career goals in later essays.