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Artificial Intelligence at one of the world's prestigious University - candidate for a scholarship


nijanthan 3 / 7  
Mar 24, 2015   #1
Why you think that you are a particularly suitable candidate for a scholarship and why you wish to pursue your studies at the University of XXX. Please also indicate which other funding bodies you have applied to for support

A 24 year Mechanical engineering graduate, design engineer with 3 years of experience in leading automotive MNC, Built fourteen robot prototypes which has been awarded more than ten times in national level also been published in leading daily elucidating the achievements. However Icing on the cake is holding an unconditional offer to pursue masters in MSc. Artificial Intelligence at one of the world's prestigious "University of XXX"

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Ulaai 3 / 40 25  
Mar 25, 2015   #2
When you write an essay, you don't need to use difficult/rarely used words like "elucidating" "tussles" "whittling" just to make you sound more intellectual. Just use simple words that's easy to understand. You just need to make it clear why you're cut out for this scholarship - explain more about "built fourteen robot prototypes", "awarded in national level." They're awesome experiences, so why not elaborate more about it? Explain how all these experiences help you grow as a person and what do you want to achieve in the future with your scholarship.

All in all, be specific. There's no need to mention everything. I hope this helps. Good luck with your essay! :)
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
Mar 25, 2015   #3
However Icing on the cake is holding on an unconditional offer to pursue masters in MSc. Artificial Intelligence at one of the world's prestigious "University of XXX" (I think in this sentence you need verb)

These (these what? please specify it) cannot be scribed here unless I had encountered innumerable tussles, crest-fallen moments & failures. Nevertheless I believe that they were the main fuels to propel my willpower to realize my dream. In spite of some hardships, I was graduated as the first literate in my family in first class. But, due to my unfortunate fate my father was not alive to witness my achievements, he hashad(please consistent of your tenses) always backed me and wantsed me to do things(what kinds of things?) despite any circumstance. Losing my father was just like cut the ground from under feet. Overcoming the monetary issues were the primary concerns. However, my strong-minded mother beenwas my moral supporter and backbone in pursuing pinnacle in my passion.

It feels unerring that I have committed myself to robotics. Robotics conglomerates nearly all field from ecology to music to astronomy, and thisthese makes robotics even awe-inspiring to me. Besides I believe it will aid me to develop forward-thinking about robots which would help myself in contributeing/to contribute to the improvement of humanity. As an initiative, I had developed a humanoid arm and biped prosthetic legs. However, i-Limb by Touch bionics were my inspiration to build my prototypes. Also, I am maintaining a technical blog named nijanthanvasudevan's where I post my researches online to share my ideas to any budding inventors.

Also, I believe in my ideas,for pursuing them with all my grit and whittling them into reality. Which I foresee university of XXX, pioneer in the artificial-intelligence having cutting edge research laboratory, known for the outstanding reputation for excellence in world-leading research, innovation and Teaching . I firmly believe that it will be the best place to develop my robotic prototypes into real intellectual creatures.

Through my achievements, I have demonstrated a consistent of high academic accomplishment and passion for technology. Furthermore, I have demonstrated leadership, initiative, and desire to learn technology in a global setting. I believe these will be the influential factors for considering myself as a particular best candidate. And this will provide a chance for me to make my mother feel pride as the words of Thiruvalluvar "The mother who hears her son called "a wise man" will rejoice more than she did at his birth". And regarding funding my masters, I will be applying for SSSSS scholarship also.

Hello, I think overall your idea is great. however, you should pay attention to your grammatical, and please be consistent of tenses in use. also, you should learn more about punctuation for writing. Good Luck!!


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