Short essay asking why i deserve this essay and how will i make an impact

This is a culinary scholarship essay that asks why do i deserve this essay and how will i make an impact. The essay is short because it has to be under 200 words.

Coming from a lower class family was rough. My parents never attended college or even finished high school, so the only jobs they qualified for were entry-level jobs. My parents barely had enough money to feed us, lunch and dinner were always the same. Whether it was coming back from the park or coming home from school I always came home to the aroma of tortillas and beans. My siblings and I grew tired of the familiar scents. I tried to help around and raise money to afford diverse foods by walking the neighbors golden retriever, with that money made I tried my first cheeseburger. Since that day my curiosity for food has grown as well as my goal of becoming a chef. With this scholarship I will help pay for culinary school and fulfill my dream of becoming a chef and so someday I can serve someone their first cheeseburger.

Coming from a lower class family was rough. My parents never attended college or even finished high school, so the only jobs they qualified for were entry-level jobs. My parents barely had enough money to feed us, so lunch and dinner were always the same. Whether it was coming back from the park or coming home from school I always came home to the same aroma of tortillas and beans. My siblings and I grew tired of the familiar scents. I tried to help around and raise money to afford diverse foods by walking the neighbors' golden retriever, and with thatthe money made I tried my first cheeseburger. Since that day my curiosity for food has grown as well as my goal of becoming a chef. With this scholarship I will help pay for culinary school and fulfill my dream of becoming a chef and so someday I can serve someone their first cheeseburger.

I love the concept of your essay, it's so sweet! It's concise and to the point. Many edits I made were more stylistic than mechanical. Just touch up the grammar and structure and I think you'd be good to go!

This is a good clear short essay. Make sure you make an emphasis on why you deserve this. You just discuss your families struggles but you didn't make a clear point on why you are deserving. The second part of the question is answered directly at the end of your essay though.

Agreed. But all in all it's a fantastic essay. Really grabbed my attention but you do need to explain how that makes you deserve it

someone respond to my thread please, and I'll respond to yours

Good essay and powerful message! But you need to work on your expressions.