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What aspect/s of your leadership knowledge, skills and practice you consider to be well established?

Hi everyone! I need your help on my essay. What can I improve or what points I need to add to make it more persuasive?

Question: How have you contributed to solving a challenge and to implementing change or reform? (Be specific and include: what aspect/s of your leadership knowledge, skills and practice you consider to be well established and effective; which people or organizations you worked with to solve the problem; and what creative methods were used.)

Powerful Lessons I've Learned From Work

In Jakarta, finished project often became subject of corruption-related attention. Recently, my company that i work for have an issue with government project. although company that i work for had deliver everything that written in term of reference for that project, the new form of governor team said that there was a failure in delivering network aspect (consist of more than 5000 network card) to the project and suspected having corruption that we never did. Since they are a team directly controlled by the new Major, they are always threatened to use legal force and put project implementer in to black list so the company cannot serve or take government project for long time.

I was assign to lead two teams dealing with the project consist of 15 engineers on site to fix that problem. For the first week, we intensively brainstorm and asses the failure with Major team. After gained complete problem description of what happened, my team digging solution for almost eight hours a day to solve this problem and manage to find two solutions. We had tried to implement first solution that also need Major team action but it came to dead end since they were refused to help. I was consult with project managers to find what necessary action do we need to fix this problem in two months. We used second option to reinforce engineer on site number and encourage them to catch up with remaining time. And this solution seems work well, we still have 14 due days to finish since work progress to solve this problem have reach 90%.

This problem had taught me how to manage people, coordinate with team, finding solution with limited time, develop new strategy, and solving problem under a lot of pressure.

Mar 14, 2018   #2
Selvi, this essay perfectly establishes your identity as a team member, not as a team leader, which was the whole point of the essay. That is why I do not think that this essay is properly responding to the prompt. You are required to highlight the discussion points with strong representation of your leadership skills, how you applied it in this instance, and what the results of your leadership were. Unfortunately, you focused too much on the team work rather than your leadership of the team. Which is what brought this essay into error. You have to revise the essay to cover a more comprehensive representation of your leadership style, how you inspired the people to work, what you required of them, and what the results of your leadership method was. Focus on you as the leader rather than the way the team responded to the problem. That comes from explaining how you led them. Not the other way around.

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