Australia Award Scholarship for Master of Architecture - proposed course and institution choice

hello, I would be very thankful for any help on my essay - structure, spelling, and grammar since I'm not a native speaker.

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution*?

Master architecture at University of South Australia

I started to like the field of architecture when I was a child. My family does not have a private house, we live in my father's brother's house until now. As a child whose thoughts were still innocent, I thought that if I mastered the science of building design, so that when I grew up I could build a house for my family so we didn't have to ride any more. Now, that I am a grown up woman, I realize there are many families out there who have the same fate, even worse than me.

As a densely populated country that is ranked 4th in the world, the phenomenon of homelessness is a common thing in Indonesia. The selling price or the rental price of land and property continues to squeeze small families who in the end have no choice but to go wild, especially in the midst of an economic crisis in a pademi like this. Not only that, Indonesia is a country that is located on three plates (the Eurasian plate, the Pacific plate, and the Indo-Australian plate), which is constantly moving, with Aceh being one of the most earthquake-prone areas in Indonesia. This is what made me interested in pursuing the architectural field with the hope of studying building technology and building houses for people in need, economical, comfortable, but still concerned with the aesthetics of the house itself.

I choose the Master of Architecture course at the University of South Australia for the reason that not only it is linear with my undergraduate program, but it is also an ideal fit for my working experience and career plan. The institution rank 295th in the world, based on the QS Global World Rankings 2021, and is No.1 for student satisfaction in Architecture, in South Australia. UniSA engages students in real-life projects by offering an extensive range of career-related events and workshops to develop student's skills and build their confidence/alacrity in welcoming the world of work/career world. Then, they have/UniSA has an architecture museum whom the only one in Australia filled with over 200,000 items which will really help me in my literature and comparative study needs. My lecturer recommended UniSA to me for its strengths and facilities to support architecture students. This is evidenced by UniSA being a stakeholder in my department, Architecture and Planning of Syiah Kuala University.

One essay at one time

This is not a competitive presentation. You sound like you are writing a personal statement than a professional motivation. The reason sounds too amateur when you include a reference to your childhood.


Yet these are not integral to your course choice? You're career doesn't have a direction the chosen course can help you reach? That is odd. Normally, masters students consider their future cover path when choosing a masters course.

It appears that you do not have any professional experience yet that would drive your motivation to pursue higher study. You do not present a competitive background in reference to professional motivating needs and qualifications. The other applicant essays alone will push you out of the running.

The fact that you rely on your professor recommendation for the university choice. Lack of familiarity with the course opportunities and reliance on public information makes your essay non- competitive. Btw, you need 2 university and course choices. That is the requirement.

At this point, based on these information, I doubt you have any documentation that can keep you in consideration. Your application just isn't strong enough to withstand the competition.