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If you aren't awarded this scholarship, what are your plans for the next 4 years? Scholarship essay


SWMaster 4 / 9 1  
Jan 2, 2018   #1
The question is: If you are not awarded the International Scholarship, what are your plans for the next four years? (100-word maximum)

My answer:

lower budget school



Since my ardent desire to attend a university cannot be described in words, applying only to this intensely competitive scholarship is not the wisest decision. I have got the academics to apply anywhere, but when it all comes down to finance, that is when things get tackling. It is for this reason why I am applying to some other lower cost universities with some form of financial aid as a backup plan. Not receiving this scholarship will be one of the biggest life obstacles I might face, but I learned that if one door closes, three others open.

I don't think the language is strong enough and needs a lot of improvement. The word "tackling" seems wrong to me, but I can't find a better phrase. I just wanted to ask for feedback on the content of my answer and some advice for making it stand out in terms of English and content.

Thanks for your time and effort.

themmyloluwaa 1 / 1  
Jan 2, 2018   #2
hi, my advice to you is that don't sound negative, let your write up be something positive will captivate the reader.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,717 3062  
Jan 3, 2018   #3
Nope. this is a very weak response to the prompt. The only line that you can use from this is as follows: I am applying to some other lower cost universities with some form of financial aid as a backup plan. That is the opening statement for your revised response. From here, you can indicate a character of resiliency, hope, determination, an "I can do it" attitude, all of which can help to create your 4 year plan. For example, you can say that since you will be going to school using financial aid, you will have to look into and procure yourself a part time job in order to help augment your income and offset some of the non-aid covered fees that you will be incurring. If you know that you can be hired as a part timer based upon your currently existing skills, then indicate that this is the field where you will find a part time job so that you can combine your studies, skills, and a chance to spin it off into a financial opportunity over the next 4 years. This should make it easier for you to also gain regular employment, possibly at the same company where you worked as a part timer upon your graduation. That is the kind of mindset that these reviewers are looking for in their scholarship applicants.


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