Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width   Posts: 2


(Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi UFJ scholarship) - essay scholarship for a bank



lannhi_309 1 / -  
Aug 27, 2012   #1
Hi everyone. I'm going to apply for a scholarship of a bank. It includes personal statement and future plan.
It's about 20 lines of writing.
Here's my writing.
Plese help me to correct it.
Thanks all. Have a nice day!

From Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi UFJ scholarship, I will be able to get one step closer to achieving my dream of a businesswoman.

In spite of a difficult family circumstance, I have always worked hard at everything I have done whether it's studying or working. I am naturally a competititive person with an Excellent grade in finance. In addition to my studies at university, I take lots of experiences in participating in the SIFE (Students In Free Enterpise - an international non-profit organization that works with leaders in business to make a difference in their communities) to improve my comunicating skills. In this global organization, I have learnt a great deal of training in group cooperation, resolving conflict, time management and team building.

Being a student at UEH has futher confirmed my desire to pusue a career in international business, especially in finance. Upon graduation, I intend to participate in the banking interships. I am also interested in pursuing a study in International Trade.

I self-realise that I am a suitable candidate for the Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi UFJ scholarship because of not only my difficult circumtances but also an excellent result in study. With this scholarship I hope to receive I will be able to relieve a small amout of the large financial burden in my family. This also encourages me to continue my education to higher level.

Thank you for your time and consideration of my application.

ace 5 / 65  
Sep 1, 2012   #2
Check your comma ussage. For example:

"With this scholarship, I hope to receive..."

Check spelling, eg: "pusue a career"


Home / Scholarship / (Bank of Tokyo-Mitsubishi UFJ scholarship) - essay scholarship for a bank
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳